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Rude Weight Remarks, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:26 PM
  • 8 Replies

Why is it socially acceptable to make remarks about the size of a pregnant woman when you never would say things about their size otherwise????  I just would NEVER consider pointing out to a pregnant woman, or anyone else for that matter, how "big" I think they are.  However, last night I was with DH's family at a 2-year old's birthday party and my FIL did just that.  As I walked in to the living room he asked "how many watermelon's I was trying to smuggle under my shirt" and said I was "nearly as big as him". 

There were about 40 people in the room at the time, so I was completely humiliated.  To top it off I have only gained 6 lbs so far.  I did just "pop", but a month ago they were harassing me that they couldn't tell I was pregnant.  Now this.  To top it off the man weighs over 400 lbs!!!!!  Who is he to judge, mock, etc..

I told DH that I was mad and he understood, but wanted to talk to his dad about it.  I think that will just make it worse, and asked him not to.  However, I have 12 weeks left and a LOT of growing will happen in that time.  It makes me not want to see him over the holiday's, etc... just so I don't have to be humiliated again.

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Gabeys_Mommy
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:30 PM

It never really bothered me when people made comments about how pregnant I looked the first time, and this time at only 13 weeks people are telling me I'm already getting a belly. Hubby told me yesterday "it looks like a little beer belly.." THANKS hunny. I dont know. It's for a good cause, you've got a little human in there, I just take it in stride.

lacylulu
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:30 PM

i feel ya mama. i had my baby shower this weekend, and a couple people made similar remarks as to how "my belly was the same size as 'so-and-so's" and i found it a little irritating because no, it wasn't- i am not 200 lbs- not even close. also, this annoying little girl kept following me and repeating how i had a basketball under my shirt. i just ignored them and didn't mention it to anyone because i half-expected the comments.

2brats1chkymnky
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:46 PM

I know how you feel. It seems to me that the people that are already OW try to make us pregnant women feel bad about gaining weight. My step-dad did it to me when I was pregnant with my first son. I used to tell him at least I had a valid reason to be fat.

grandker
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:49 PM


Quoting 2brats1chkymnky:

I know how you feel. It seems to me that the people that are already OW try to make us pregnant women feel bad about gaining weight. My step-dad did it to me when I was pregnant with my first son. I used to tell him at least I had a valid reason to be fat.

I was VERY close to saying that myself. With these hormones, he's lucky I didn't try to humiliate him right back.  The worst part is that he, and much of his family, know that I am in recovery from an eating disorder.  Not only is gaining weight hard for me to deal with, but we were not even sure if I could have more children due to the damage that was done.

guesswh00m
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:54 PM

There is one acquaintance of mine from church who has to mention how big I am at least 3 different ways EVERY time she sees me. I think its a bit rude. She'll always say things like "How are you feeling, besides Big?" or "its a good thing you own such a Big coat" or one time when she was completely blocking the way to my seat and I asked if I could get by her she said "oh, I forgot your not as slender as you use to be".

I already know that I've gained weight from being pregnant. I am afterall due in 3 weeks, but I think  to consistently point it out in every way possible is rude. I would never do that to someone. My husband says he thinks its because she had a miscarriage a few months back and is jealous, and I feel for her so I'm always nice to her, but sometimes its hard.

ProudArmyWife18
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 3:32 PM

OMG! I know how you feel!!!! Last night actually my MIL made a comment to me on the phone. we had called them to let them know we posted our professional maternity pictures from yesterday online and when she got on the phone with me her first comment was "so getting big huh" i was like yeah im 33 weeks pregnant and then she goes "so uh hows the weight gain going?" I was soo irritated i was like fine i just now weigh what i did when i first got pregnant with my DS and the same as when i married my DH so im doing really well and the Dr. said im doing wonderfully and am completely healthy. i was soo offended though and just irritated that shed say that to me after seeing our professional maternity pictures. yes im not as TINY as her daughter is (whos a few weeks behind me) but i dont think i look fat it just irritated me soo much! heres one of the pics she saw actually

caribear77
by on Nov. 17, 2009 at 2:35 AM

I dislike when people ask how much weight have you gained?  What are you now?  I am completely comfy w/ getting my big baby belly.  I like it, I just think it is rude to ask the amt of weight.  I think who cares-i am pregnant. 

i wanted to slap a new midwife in the practice I go to.  She didn't know me, hadn't checked my chart.  Immediately she said you gained 7 lbs in 4 weeks!!!  &   asked me if I was on vacation & that is how I gained soo much(since I was tan), asked about if I over eat, etc, etc.. 

 If she would have looked, it was the first amt of lbs I had gained @ all & it was several months into the pregnancy.  I stopped her & got slightly rude & made sure she knew I wasn't concerned.  I have had 2 appt w/ her, once right after that one too!

I will ask for another midwife if she is on duty.  We don't rub well together.  I wonder if the drs mind if I specifically ask for her not to be there the day I deliver??



hinson7169
by on Nov. 17, 2009 at 8:55 AM

Hey I'm with u on this one.. When I had my 6yr old birthday party about a month ago i was 7months and everyone was asking me how many babies i had in there and i was so big .. I told them i have one big healthy baby girl :)... What made me more mad i was at Kroger and a women that worked there came up to me and said wow u are big and u are the biggest pregnant women i have ever seen.. I didn't say anything to hear .. As i was checking out she came up to me and said u look miserable are u? I was like what? I was so upset.. i know how u feel...

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