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is this a bad thing?? or immature?

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:03 PM
  • 12 Replies

if me and my SO have something serious we need to talk out, or just do any type of major talking or foxing problems, i need to be in bed to talk to him.. like it has to be when were laying down in bed in the dark and just relaxed... i can not sit there face to face and talk... id rather be lying down with him.. its like im almost scared to talk face to face.. i always have been to ANYONE... all of my exes before him and even when we first dated , and still sometimes now, if i have a problem, i have to text it, because i just cant say it... i get really scared to talk to people face to face... i have  to write or text everything =[ i hate it, but we still always end up with good results... is this still bad though?

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:03 PM
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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:08 PM

no way!!! this is the way me and df usually get things off out chest.....and if i REALLY need to talk to him about something, i will even write him a note or email. call it stupid. but it works for us! :)

I am a 22 year old Wisconsin mama to my precious daughter, Eliahna Maree, loving fiance to lee, pregnant with our little boy!! (1.26.10) Bryant Allyn. (trying to have successful VBAC), Disposible diapering, ERFing, breastfeeding, NON-CIO, Vaxing mommy turned to NON-VAXing!

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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:14 PM

I don't think it's that bad.   As long as you aren't suppressing issues & you are continuing to keep things in the open, it works for you!   :-)

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma

When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:17 PM

 i don't think its bad, thats what i do too. I don't like confrontations i guess, so we always talk about things when we're in bed, usually with the lights off. and if its something thats like really bothering me i will send him a text and say hey we need to talk about this later, and when he brings it up to me later its easier for me to talk to him about it then me trying to bring it up. i can never seem to find the right moment. i thought i was just weird or something. glad to know its not just me. :)

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:49 PM

i curl up w my back against his tummy and talk bout problems he does too if it works it works. its best to get it out if it takes that then you do that

by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 9:17 AM

Communication between couples is so interesting!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking in bed, especially if you feel vulnerable during a confrontation.  The only thing I would caution you on is if a situation escalates into an arguement that you move it away from the bedroom.  Only because the bedroom, and especially the bed, should be a place of relaxation for both of you, and if you are bringing that stress of a full blown argument in there, it might cause problems sexually later on (I had that happen once).  but as long as you guys are calm and open and honest, I think it is wonderful that you can talk that way!

Gini Winget

Passion Parties Team Leader


by Emerald Member on Dec. 15, 2009 at 9:49 AM

i dont think there is anything wrong with that.  every couple has their own way of communicating (muchless any person).  i usually write down all of my thoughts because then i can take the emotion usually out of it and just be logical with what is going on.  you are fine!  if that is the best way you can communicate, then do it.

by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 9:51 AM

I'm with the rest of the ladies - something is better than not talking/writing about it at all. My hubby and I are both very non-confrontational and hate fighting or taking anyhting too seriously. We have all our deep discussions either in the car or in bed. And if its really pressing we email it during the day while he's at work and we talk about it later when he comes home. Or we drive somewhere ;)

As long as you're communicating, I don't think it matters how you do it as long as you're telling him whats bugging you.

by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:06 AM

Not at all.. I call it good old "pillow talk" .. sometimes DH and I start talking before we fall asleep at night (after we've turned the tv off) and we get pretty indepth and it seems like thats when we have our most serious conversations..even when we aren't meaning too. Hes actually the first guy I did this with but I really love it.. Communication is great in relationships, even if it is in the dark :)

by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:46 AM

 I think it is fine to talk to your spouse in bed, Trent and I do that every night. I do completely agree with a PP that said if it somehow turns into an argument or disagreement you should take it out of the bedroom. I think our bedroom is our safe haven, and we don't argue in there. Honestly we don't really argue period, but when we do we take it outside of our house by just going for a drive.

I want my home to be a safe place for all of us (my children included) to fall, so we keep arguments out as much as possible. With 5 children obviously that can be challenging at times, but the older they get the more they comply with the no arguing in the house rule. If my kids have issues with anything they can request to go for a ride with us and the sibling they have an issue with, it has worked really well for us.


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by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:49 AM

You aren't alone, Im the same way. My hubby makes me sit face to face and talk to him and I clam up.... Its like a horrible nightmare where your in school and you look down and your in your underwear.... Its that kinda freaking out that I do in my head.... In my opinion and from what I have been told by our shrink is it has a lot to do with anxiety

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