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i need advice. PLEASE

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:26 PM
  • 14 Replies

 so this is off topic, this is about me and my fiance.

he works alot, and weve been going thru alot of changes financially, i lost my job and im trying to go back to school this next semester and we have a 14mo and were due in june..so he makes sure he works alot, and were stressed out but were making it..anyways, lately he is doing anything he can not to be home. like today, we had plans to swap rooms in our house and he was going to help get my christmas stuff put away and then out to dinner. Well last night he came home from work, and "asked" if he could go hunting, apparently its the last day for it or something, and he knew i would say no but that doesnt matter he was going to go anyways, so he left at 8am, and its now 530pm..he is always with guys that i havent ever met, or they are known drunks and trouble, and he doesnt answer his phone EVER. This isnt the first time hes done this,...its been ALOT lately.

 

be honest... should i be worried?

i trust him but he never used to do this...and he never asks me to do anything with him..im home with my kid 24/7 ALONE.

do you think hes cheating? or just over us?

please be honest, no bashing

Randee..
Lover to Brandon..
Mommy to Bryley Scott 10.27.08
impatiently awaiting 'Levi' or 'Kamrynn' Summer 2010
[[...Thinking Pink...]]


by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Marah2008
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:32 PM

I would definitely be worried, I would start looking into it more, but I wouldnt start accusing just yet, if he is never home and doesnt want to be home that is suspicious, there is a reason why he is not wanting to be home. Keep a good eye on him! And good luck!


jamiesmom1
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:33 PM

Maybe he just wants to have fun because he is working so much. My hubby did this as well. He told me he just needed a break from working and stuff. But when i told him how I felt he was understanding and started spending more time with me and our son. Now I can't get him to leave me alone! Lol. Try talking to him and see if that helps. Good Luck hun.

callalily417
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:34 PM

I agree that you should talk to him about how you feel. 

Quoting jamiesmom1:

Maybe he just wants to have fun because he is working so much. My hubby did this as well. He told me he just needed a break from working and stuff. But when i told him how I felt he was understanding and started spending more time with me and our son. Now I can't get him to leave me alone! Lol. Try talking to him and see if that helps. Good Luck hun.


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ProudMommy51006
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:36 PM

 my friend just went through something JUST like this... she finally found out he was cheating 3 days before she delivered their second baby and needless to say, totally seperated with in 2 months. Good luck, I hope he is not cheating. But honestly, I would truly be worried. 

MommyRJ
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:36 PM

i definatly have brought it up multiple times, without seeming needy or making him upset, but its not doing anything...he still goes out..

its just weird he isnt home yet because its dark, you cant hunt in the dark.

idk maybe im paranoid.

 

Randee..
Lover to Brandon..
Mommy to Bryley Scott 10.27.08
impatiently awaiting 'Levi' or 'Kamrynn' Summer 2010
[[...Thinking Pink...]]


MommyRJ
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 6:39 PM

i also forgot to mention...we both live 10 hours away from our parents etc....so in 3 weeks were going half way to meet everyone in my family for a weekend...he isnt coming. because he wants to work. 

Randee..
Lover to Brandon..
Mommy to Bryley Scott 10.27.08
impatiently awaiting 'Levi' or 'Kamrynn' Summer 2010
[[...Thinking Pink...]]


Marah2008
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:11 PM

Well what I would do since you are going out of town for the weekend is I would ask someone to go check on him while he is home, like a sister or close friend and have them "drop" something off of yours or something along the lines, it seems VERY fishy.


CheyanneW
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:18 PM

I don't know if I would be worried but I sure would be pissed!

sissychristi
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:27 PM

I agree here. I wouldn't go right out and accuse him. If this behavior didn't start until he began working extra hours, he is probably stressed and wants time to himself. Coming home is probably a reminder that things are tough and are about to get tougher with a baby on the way.

Is it fair for him to always be gone? No. But at least there is an explanation for it.

Quoting CheyanneW:

I don't know if I would be worried but I sure would be pissed!




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brendaemily
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:31 PM

My husband is the same way. We met about four years ago, and after he "got" me, he's been like this. Never, never answers his phone, spends LOTS of time doing things that don't involve me, it's always a priority to hang with the guys, skips out on events with my family, etc. "Bringing it up" only made things worse. Finally, I just realized that if I want to be with him, that's how he is, and I need to accept it. Of course, the possibility of cheating is never far from my mind. But I trust him, and that's really what it comes down to. If you have clear reasons, or even an overwhelming gut feeling, why you shouldn't trust your man, that's what you need to address with him, rather than the behavior. Of course, this is just my opinion, from my experience. But I would say, making him feel like he is "trapped" might only push him further away. I'm not saying it's his right to act as he does, I'm just suggesting that trying to make him change his behavior could make it worse. Confront the cheating aspect if you feel that it's warranted, but if you're satisfied he's not cheating, you may just have to weather this storm. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know it's a trial. Again, this is just one opinion. I hope you do find some help here, and good luck!

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