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My Dad thnks I should give the baby up for adoption **VENT*** PIOG

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:18 PM
  • 8 Replies

I guess the title says it all. I was at my parents tonight visitng while DH and DD were out. My Dad told me he doesn't think I am made to be a mother and that I should put this baby up for adoption. He continued on by saying that I would be making a big mistake if I kept her.

Now, here is some background. I suffer from anixety/PTSD, and its easier for me to not be anxious, etc if I am with other adults. So usually for about 2-3 hours a day (m-f)  my daughter and I go over to visit my mom. I take care of my DD, and don't ask my mom to do anything unless I ask her to watch her while I use the ladies room. I don't go partying, out with friends, I work 2 jobs, and I am trying to get my anixety/PTSD in check, but I am not on any meds right now because of my pregnancy.

I am so hurt to the core by what my father said. I try SO hard to be a great Mother to my DD and I think she is a great little girl who is well adjusted, smart. and beautiful. Him saying this just made my self esteem go down to my toes. I know that raising a 5 yr old and a newborn is going to be hard work, but why would someone suggest such a thing???

I am really hurt, and don't know what to think.


by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:18 PM
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by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM

I'm sorry he is treating you like that. My parents have said before that I shouldn't have more children cause I yell at my 6 yr old sometimes. He is a really onery kid and sometimes needs a loud stern voice to get his attention. They were yellers when I was growing up too and they are denying it. They say they didn't yell at us (OH YES THEY DID!!!) and never at eachother (HECK YES THEY DID). They say I shouldn't get mad at hubby either when he is getting on my last nerve. He isn't attentive to me or the kids, but especially the kids. So they think I shouldn't have anymore cause I'm not a perfect parent like they were (ROFL).


Tiffany, wife to David and sahm to James and Caleb and Baby J (Jasper or Jocelyn) coming summer of 2010!


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by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM
my heart breaks for you. i cant imagine what the hurt it cuased your father saying that to you. nobody should ever bring that up unless it is you or your husband. i think personally you should address that it was inapprpriate thing to say. you should also maube seek some outside counceling if you feel your ptsd could be affected by this new baby.
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM

I think that is a terrible thing to say on his part.  The only time something like that should be said is if someone is sincerely putting their child in physical or emotional danger.  I am sure you are a very good mother, please dont let what he said affect you too much.  Just do your best every day and that is all anyone can ask of you.  I have a 5 year old and had a baby 2 months ago( a 2 year old too). Its work yes but my 5 year old is very very helpful with the baby, I am very glad I have her. 

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is also a government big enough to take from you all that you have." - Gerald Ford

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety  deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.  We didn't pass it on to our children in the bloodstream.  It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."  - Ronald Reagan

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM

Hi, Im so sorry youre hurt by what your father said. Its hard being a mom, and although I dont know exactly how your life as a mom with ptsd is Im sure it makes it even harder. Im sure your father just wants life to be a bit easier for you and didnt mean to hurt you.

You do what you feel is right, your mothering insinct will get you through anything as long as you want to get through it.

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 PM
Tell him to kiss your ass and keep your baby darling


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by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:25 PM

I'm sorry your father is saying that to you. I'm sure your a great mother. Dont let others tell you what to do. I'm sure you will be able to handle a 5 year old and a newborn just fine!  Good Luck mama!

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:31 PM

LOL... my mother always tells me that my son is tortured because we are jehovahs witnesses' and we are cruel to our children. I just roll my eyes and change the subject. Easier said than done but, I wouldnt take it to personally. Im sure you are a great mom and if your child is happy, clean, fed etc etc than thats your proof! Im a SAHM and trust me, I need the adult interaction too! I get depressed after a few days. I love my son to death but, hes a baby. I personally couldnt give my baby up for adoption because I would always worry if someone was taking good care of him or not. I may not be the best mom but at least I know my child is loved and safe!

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by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:42 PM

well then he would tell me the same thing bc i am pregnant and have anxiety and PTSD aswell and also not on meds due to pregnancy and im 18 on top of it a "teen mom" people would say but i would never give up my child and just because you have these issues doesnt make you a bad parent if anything it makes you quite strong to put your issues aside to be a parent and give your child the best you can so i think what your father said was wrong and he has no right to think that he should be supporting you if you like feel free to add and message me

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