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Do you agree?

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:00 PM
  • 68 Replies

I have been pondering something my grandmother asked me and thought I'd put the question out there..

She asked me "What's the point in having kids if you aren't going to be the ones raising them?" She asked me this after I told her that I'd have to go back to work after I have Noah b/c we can't afford for me to stay home...

Do you agree??

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cdeweese
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:08 PM

I don't agree with that at all! I know PLENTY of great moms who just can't afford or don't want to leave their careers. I will be staying home with my daughter, but that's a personal choice. You can make any situation go anyway. I also know SAHMs who do absolutely nothing with their kids and watch TV all day while the kids are off doing whatever. If you make the effort to be a good mom and work, then I find nothing wrong with that. Working doesn't mean that you're not raising your child, it means you are trying to provide for them and I think that is an admirable thing!

JHall
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:08 PM

Well it depends on how she looks at it. She probably came from the days where the mom stays home with the kids. Those days it easier to do that, but now it is harder unless DH is paid well and you are able to stay home. Sense you said you can't not afford to stay home you only have one choice and that is back to work cause you have bills and need to be able to help support your family. I guess no I don't agree with that. I got lucky and our bills are pretty low to where I can stay home with mine but if we figure out we could not afford it then yes I would go back to work.  Many moms go back to work for that reason the money would be too tight if they didn't.

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K.a.C.87
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:08 PM

yes and no.....lets to leave it at that. if i start talking about it i wont stop! LOL

I am a 22 year old Wisconsin mama to my precious daughter, Eliahna Maree, loving fiance to lee, pregnant with our little boy!! (1.26.10) Bryant Allyn. (trying to have successful VBAC), Disposible diapering, ERFing, breastfeeding, NON-CIO, Vaxing mommy turned to NON-VAXing!



MissiHampt
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:09 PM

I have mixed feelings on this.  Personally, I would not plan a baby unless I knew I could stay home most of the time and be the primary caretaker.  But, neither of my kids were planned, both pill babies, and those things happen.  Lucky I can afford to work just part time, and my mom babysits so I don't have to use childcare.  In today's economy, not many moms can afford to stay home full time, but they shouldn't feel they should not have kids for that reason.  And sometimes, one starts out with a well set plan, and the situation changes. 

Missi....loving wife to Jason, mommy to Ricky (1-12-05), and soon to be mommy to Logan Douglas (due Feb 2010).  I'm a cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding till baby wants to quit, homeschooling, non-circumcising, anti-cry it out, part time working, animal loving, trashy romance novel reading, farm raised hillbilly.  I have had Meningitis and Swine Flu and lived to tell about it.  Any questions?

Mommaof32010
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:12 PM

I don't agree for the simple fact that I have seriously considered becoming a serrogat mother.

I am a SAHM and love every minute of it, but I'm not going to sit here and tell other mothers who have to work after their baby is born that they are terrible mothers. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who works hard and does make enough money for me to be able to stay home and raise our three children. I personally think it's more irresponsible to be a SAHM when you CAN'T afford to. Nothing bugs me more than reading blogs or listening to people complain about how they can't afford food for their family, or diapers or whatever while they're sitting on their asses all day and their husbands are working two or three jobs. First off, there are many things they could eliminate - internet, cable, cell phones, etc., AND they can get a job and help out!



ElijahsMom211
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:13 PM

Yeah, she did come from the days where moms stayed home w/the kids (until she had to go to work to support them b/c her husband left her for another woman) and I TOTALLY wish I could stay home!! :o) I stayed home for the first 6mo of Elijah's life and I loved it but our debt became too much and Dh doesn't get paid well enough to support us w/just his income. I have been looking for a way to become a SAHM again for MONTHS w/no luck..

Quoting JHall:

Well it depends on how she looks at it. She probably came from the days where the mom stays home with the kids. Those days it easier to do that, but now it is harder unless DH is paid well and you are able to stay home. Sense you said you can't not afford to stay home you only have one choice and that is back to work cause you have bills and need to be able to help support your family. I guess no I don't agree with that. I got lucky and our bills are pretty low to where I can stay home with mine but if we figure out we could not afford it then yes I would go back to work.  Many moms go back to work for that reason the money would be too tight if they didn't.


married-in-06
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:13 PM
Yes i do,but i believe a womans place is in the home nothing against anyone tho i just believe no matter how poor you are or anything a woman is suppose to be at home its just what i believe sorry

 ~JESSICA -LOVING WIFE TO JOEL & MOMMY TO 1 WILD LIL GIRL~1 SWEET LIL BOY~& 5 ANGELS IN HEAVEN


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sparklebug86
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:15 PM

Hmm.... well she is clearly from a different generation. My mother has been pushing me to go back to work in an office and to be honest it pisses me off. She is of the mindset that women must work and children must be in daycare and I dont 100% agree. I think it depends on the woman and I think it depends on the situation. Not every mom is fortunate enough to stay home with their children and not every woman can handle being home all day every day. I had lunch with my aunt last weekend and it was like a fresh breath of air. She said to me.... society these days pushes women to have the career, the house and then if they have those, where is the baby?!?! And if she has the baby, where are the career and the house?!?!? I think she is very right. We are supposed to have it all but, what if what we want is to be home with our family or what if we want to be working?

What do you think the answer to her question is?

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CathyBRI
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:15 PM

 I TOTALLY disagree. Just because a woman is working to help support her family, doesn't mean she's not raising her kids.  If that's the case, when our kids reach four or five, then we all GIVE UP raising our kids.. because that's when they go to school.

When kids reach 4 or 5 and they start going to school, what happens then? Aren't the parents still raising their children, even though they're at school? Aren't you still providing a place for them to live, feeding them, bathing them, teaching them manners and good behaviour and showing them love? All those things are what's considered "raising" your child.

By the way - - thumbs up to the women who can afford to stay at home all day and raise their kids, like my mom did. But if you can't, do what you have to do give your help support them.

 

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ElijahsMom211
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:16 PM

Can I ask, why you believe that?? Is it just something you were taught growing up or something that you've begun to believe over the years?? Just out of curiousity; I always imagined myself being a SAHM when I grew up and had kids. It's what I thought was right and it fit..

Quoting married-in-06:

Yes i do,but i believe a womans place is in the home nothing against anyone tho i just believe no matter how poor you are or anything a woman is suppose to be at home its just what i believe sorry


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