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OT *A little MIL vent*

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:35 AM
  • 3 Replies

I love my MIL to death but when it comes to the grandbabies she doesn't care how she gets to see them!  I remember when our first DD was born everything was all good for the first month she came over to our house 2x a week to see baby but after that we get the come to us I'm tired.  Due to DD being born in late fall we didn't want her to get sick so we always asked is anyone sick or been sick?  She would say NO not here.  Taking her word for it cause the last thing I wanted to do was let my newborn around someone that has a bug we go over.  This only happened twice before we started asking DH's brother, we get there and come to find out she has had a temp all day and is doing a ton of hacking.  LOL  Figures, so we started telling her no you guys are sick.  Well at the time she has 2 other grandbabies that lived with them from her youngest son and kids will be kids full of stomach bugs and colds and what not.  I got sick of it and quit going over when I knew anyone was sick.  The kicker is when she would call the day before she finally quit saying anything about being sick and acting like she was ok.  Why??

Our second DD was born with a defect which caused problems with her lungs and she spent 6 months in the NICU.  Well while there it was RSV season and all that nasty colds and such.  One day we found out that MIL had been going to see her while she had ben sick just the day before LOL  Didn't fly with me the nurse even told me cause she was doing all kinds of hacking and leaving the NICU to get some water and coming back.  DD's defect caused issues with her lungs I mean to the point to if she cought a pretty bad cold she would die!!!  I got hold of that MIL of mine and told her not to go back if she even has the sniffels and that she should wait 2 weeks to go back if she has been sick!!! I was angry at her I even told her that if she was to catch a cold that it would kill her.  Well she DOESN'T LISTEN!!!! Even her husband was fussing at her for it and the responce she gave was if I want to go when I want to go I will.  LOL Why risk killing your own grandbaby and many other babies in the NICU for something so selfish???

I know she loves her babies but why risk giving them a bug?  these are babies these are my babies she doesn't understand why we don't come up any more. After our youngest DD passed (Not due to her) we quit coming around for about 5 months even then she didn't understand why we didn't come see them.  I am so tired of being the one that takes my kids to her!  I am so tired of being the one that has to be the one that goes to her house, she never comes to us she lives 45mins away her reason for never coming here is I don't feel like it.  Yet she can't understand why we don't feel like coming here. We have done it for 5 years now and in 5 years she has only came to us about 5x. I can't stand going to her house even with no kids there I feel so up tight I don't know why even DH feels the same way.  Now to top it off since she pretty much quit calling us she acts like we should be the ones to always call her I've talked to her once in almost 3 weeks cause when I do call she doesnt' answer nor does she return the call.  This baby is so going to be different you want to see it you come to us no more of always being the ones that come to her when she wants to see baby.  My mom knows we are private people and like for the most part be left alone she lives about 10mins from us and could come by anytimes she wants but she calls first to make sure it is ok and if she hasn't talked to me in a few weeks she waits for me to call her and I usually do she knows how we are and she respects that.  If she is sick and we are due for a visit she lets us know in advance not to come by cause she doesn't want our oldest DD to catch anything. Yeah her and DH have had their share of issues in the past but he now understands why she is the way she is.  As for his mom I just can't figure her out.

No more of us being the pushover cause she hasn't seen the new baby.  Heck she's not even getting a call til well after baby is born cause I don't want her in my grill bugging the crap our of me about can I hold her if you haven't?? you are drugged right now you are not going to feel like it just get some rest and hold her later.  LMAO  NO!!!  My baby my rules!!!! This will go my way for once in 4 years this new little one will have some peace and quiet the day it is born.

Sorry this is so long I needed to get that off my chest I love my MIL to death but no matter how many times she is told she just doesn't understand why we do things the way we do when it comes to our babies.  Thank you ladies for listening.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:35 AM
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Replies (1-3):
meam4444
by Emerald Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:45 AM

i personally enjoy MIL vents because i feel like im not alone.  i guess some ppl just dont realize things..it is hard and frustrating.  i think you know what you are going to do for this time around regarding the baby and i dont let her make your feel guilty for one second on your decision.  hugs!

JHall
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:55 AM

Me too!!!  I have found that some are just aweful MIL's and that some would tell me that if this is our only problem to get over it but when it comes to our kids health that cna be a bigger issue.  Thank you so much!!!!  I don't feel guilty for most things but she is the one person that can guilt trip me in a heartbeat LOL  I don't know why I let her do me like that.  But HAHA  I got her number ahead of time no more feeling guilty.....I think lol :)

Quoting meam4444:

i personally enjoy MIL vents because i feel like im not alone.  i guess some ppl just dont realize things..it is hard and frustrating.  i think you know what you are going to do for this time around regarding the baby and i dont let her make your feel guilty for one second on your decision.  hugs!


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meam4444
by Emerald Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:00 AM

i guess my hubby and i just try to keep the focus that what we do is to protect our little family and it isnt because we dont like/love them...but we just have different views on life than they do.  sure they may not agree and try to guilt us otherwise, but they had their time to be a parent...now it is ours and we rule over our little family.  yea ive been slowly gettin over the guilty feeling...i just have to remind myself we do what we do to protect our little family which is our first priority in life.

Quoting JHall:

Me too!!!  I have found that some are just aweful MIL's and that some would tell me that if this is our only problem to get over it but when it comes to our kids health that cna be a bigger issue.  Thank you so much!!!!  I don't feel guilty for most things but she is the one person that can guilt trip me in a heartbeat LOL  I don't know why I let her do me like that.  But HAHA  I got her number ahead of time no more feeling guilty.....I think lol :)

Quoting meam4444:

i personally enjoy MIL vents because i feel like im not alone.  i guess some ppl just dont realize things..it is hard and frustrating.  i think you know what you are going to do for this time around regarding the baby and i dont let her make your feel guilty for one second on your decision.  hugs!

 


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