Alright- so my mom wants to come to visit (I'm in Kentucky now, she's in NY) after the baby was born to help out (cook, clean, etc.). My husband (military) may be getting 10 days after the baby is born to be with us. I originally thought, if he gets time off, then I want it to be with just us. I talked to my brother last night and he said to definitely have her come right when the baby is born to help out because the first 5 days is when I'll need it. Am I being naive in thinking that my husband and I will be able to handle everything ourselves? Or should I just give my mother the joy of helping out for the first 4-5 days. My brother said that instead of my husband rushing around and doing everything, my mom can do the cooking and cleaning and my husband and I can actually enjoy the baby intead of stressing out and dealing with too many things.
This was probably more wordy than it needed to be but my mind is overflowing right now!! haha
Thanks!!
i think its 100% up to you. If you and your husband think you can do it with just you two- do it, and have her come right before he leaves again, it wont be so sad for you then either because youlll have your mom, and still have help. I wasnt fully able to do EVERYTHING alone until after about a month.. its overwhelming.
But i wouldnt not let her come at all...its your mom
The two of you will def. be able to handle the baby by yourself however, if the thought of having someone cook and clean for you, then I would take your mom up on her offer.
you both will be able to handle the baby just fine! it is all what you prefer. you may want to have the baby to yourself and have her come later than sooner.
we pretty much did it all ourselves and lived with my grandma at the time. I was told the same thing by my mom I guess she figured we would need the help but hey we did it on our own and it worked. It is totally up to you if you would like to have your mom there as kind of a back up that would be fine then if you or hubby don't feel that up to cooking then she can do this for you it could be more like a vacation for her. Me I like being able to prove that we can do it on our own but like back up around if I am not feeling well.
I don't know. I was 18 with my first and 20 with my second and I had a 22 month old. I did it by myself with my SO and we didn't feel overwhelmed at all. I guess it would have been nice to have someone cook and clean for us... but if you want to spend that time with your husband, then that's what I would do and then have your mom come when he leaves again.
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It depends--
How is your relationship with her?
Would she stay in your home?
Is this your first?
Are you planning a natural delivery?
Just as a woman’s heart knows,
How and when to pump,
Her lungs to inhale,
And her hand to pull back from fire,
So she knows when and how to give birth.
- Virginia Di
We have a good relationship. Not super close- but we obviously don't hate eachother. We talk on the phone often.
She'd stay in our house because she'd be flying and wouldn't have a car to drive to and from a hotel.
This is our first :)
Yes- I'd like to do a natural delivery. But time will tell!!
I'm thinking maybe I'll have her come right away.. for maybe 4 days. That way she can do what she wants to do by helping, and I'll get to spend the next 6 days with JUST the baby and hubby. Cause once those 10 days are up I don't think I'll want her to come because at that point I think I'll be in a swing of things and will just want to do it on my own. And I think that i would just feel like I have to be a hostess at that point- and I doubt I'll want to do that- where you feel like you have to entertain.
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- Wright68
on Feb. 9, 2010 at 8:49 AM