So jealous. Never had a cute preggo belly and never will. Rant!

I always hope that my belly will just get all round and cute. Basically take a cute round preggo belly and throw a big pizza dough over it. That's my belly. When I got pregnant with my first I was a sixteen year old with an eating disorder. I decided I could finally eat whatever I wanted with no ramifications. So I gained 70lbs and therefore got HUGE everywhere. That much weight in such a short time left me stretch marked and stretched out. I luckily lost all that weight. Then with my second I only gained 35lbs but she was over 9lbs (I am only 5'3) so my belly was again stretched to mammoth proportions. I finally got to a point where I got in shape and was ok with my body. By the time I got pregnant again, my youngest was 8 and I obviously forgot that I was not eating for a litter. I gained 55lbs. My baby was only 6lbs so all that stretched skin on my belly and hips sagged down around what should have been a cute belly. Not to mention the extra fat I deposited around my giant hips and all. This time around I really tried to be careful with eating but I still hadn't dropped the extra 20lbs from my last baby which totally bums me out. I already gained 16! I have no idea how. I work on my feet and I try to walk as often as I can. Even if I only gained 5lbs by now I'd still look nasty. It's like taking a belly with triplets and taking two out but leaving the rest of the belly hanging. I'm sad how I can't wear cute maternity clothes because my belly is so ugly. I also feel like I must be doing something wrong because I am gaining so much again. I don't even eat that much. I feel like an old stretched out ballon that keeps getting blown up too big and deflated. I'm jealous of all the cute pregnant ladies I see, either on here or in person.I hate feeling so gross and ugly. It seems so unfair.