I had my first real doctors appt on Thursday. I was SO excited that I would get to hear a heart beat and that my DH and DS would get to be there. Well, I get there and the nurse calls me back. She says to me, "You know you're having a full physical today, right?" No, I didn't know that. "The other nurse tells EVERYONE that. I don't know why she wouldn't have told you." So we go back, do the weight, pee in a cup, blah blah blah. I get into the room and she takes me blood pressure. Says undress top to bottom. Ok, no big deal. THEN she says to me "Most people don't bring the whole family for a physical." I just wanted to scream at her. My DH is laid off right now but will be going back to work soon, so this was the ONLY appointment he can make it to. Then, my doctor comes in. She said that my DS is welcome at every appointment. I told her the nurse said something to me about bringing hubby and baby with me. Then, she goes to check for the heartbeat first, so hubby and baby could go grab lunch while I get a physical. She searches for about five minutes. She couldn't find a heartbeat at all. According to her that's no big deal because I am only 10 weeks. I heard DS's at 8 weeks. So, we get ready to do the full physical and she starts talking to me about needing to excersize. At least a half hour of brisk walking a day. That's no big deal. When it's warm enough out I take DS for a walk around town. Then she tells me that I should not gain ANY weight whatsoever for this pregnancy. I can't eat any cookies, candies, sweets, etc. That about got me into tears. Why didn't she say something to me about getting pregnant and being fat when she took my IUD out in October? She gets done with the physical, trying to feel for my uterus and stuff. I go ahead and sit up and she tells me she is going to schedule an ultrasound for two weeks because she couldn't get an accurate feel of how big my uterus is because of my "extra baggage" on the front. It took everything I had not to just start crying. I am so terrified that something is wrong. I feel horrible. I started bawling as soon as I got into the car. I cried the whole way home and laid in bed for three hours crying after I got home. I was so excited for this appointment and NOTHING turned out how it was supposed to.
*Hugs* I'm sorry :( That sounds like a very dissapointing day!
I don't know if this is something you'd even be interested in, but have you considered going the birthing center/midwife route? Your situation just reminded me of one of my last appointments with my midwives and how very supportive they have been. I was having a really bad week and they let me talk about it and cry and even told me how it was a very safe place to cry. They got me tissues, gave me hugs when I left, and even asked how things were going one of the next times I called them with an unrelated question. I've just heard (and experienced) how much more personal the care and attention of a good midwife can be compared to a busy doctor/ob...
Regardless, things will look up!!!
Time to find someone else. If you have a low risk pregnancy, midwives are excellent. They listen to you, take time out to talk with you, and generally care about your feelings. They do everything a doctor does, except surgical procedures. You never sit and wait for them for two hours past your appointment. Most of them are nurse practioners, which is higher than a registered nurse, and can write prescriptions. I absolutely loved the midwives I had for my two pregnancies. One of them sat with me and listened to me about my depression for almost an hour. Really, you should look into it. The ones I had didn't push natural or medicated birth, but listen to what the mom wants! No pregnant woman has to put up with that crap your doctor put you through, and it's early enough in your pregnancy to find someone new!
This is the doctor I've been seeing since I was 15. I've never had anything bad happen with her before. Her nurse is normally not that nice, but I can tolerate. She won't be delivering my baby either, because she doesn't deliver babies. I see an actual OB from 34 weeks on. I am thinking about just driving the extra 20 miles to each appointment to see her. I had a C-Section with my DS so I am unsure if I would be able to do the midwife route.
Quoting SweetpeaAK:*Hugs* I'm sorry :( That sounds like a very dissapointing day!
I don't know if this is something you'd even be interested in, but have you considered going the birthing center/midwife route? Your situation just reminded me of one of my last appointments with my midwives and how very supportive they have been. I was having a really bad week and they let me talk about it and cry and even told me how it was a very safe place to cry. They got me tissues, gave me hugs when I left, and even asked how things were going one of the next times I called them with an unrelated question. I've just heard (and experienced) how much more personal the care and attention of a good midwife can be compared to a busy doctor/ob...
Regardless, things will look up!!!
I agree that you should find someone new! No one should be treated that way!! And don't worry too much about the heartbeat-I was told the same thing when I was about 9 weeks and they couldn't find the heartbeat. I'm now in the 36th week and have been told I have a perfectly healthy little girl inside of me! :-) So don't get discouraged! You should be able to hear the heartbeat at your next appointment-whether you decide to stick with them or find someone new. At any rate you should find a doctor/midwife that you feel safe with and who you feel you can trust. :-)
I'm sure it depends on who you go to, but most midwife's see birth and a normal, non-medical occurance and would probably be very supportive of a VBAC. And you could probably get a midwife to do the actual delivery in a hospital, so there would be all that emergency support nearby, should something go wrong.
If you can drive the extra miles I would do it. It's always nice to get to know the OB from the start. I've been having to drive about 35 miles to my appointments and it can get tiring but since it's only once a month for most of the pregnancy I think it's worth it to be able to see someone I trust and like.
Quoting TDausman:
This is the doctor I've been seeing since I was 15. I've never had anything bad happen with her before. Her nurse is normally not that nice, but I can tolerate. She won't be delivering my baby either, because she doesn't deliver babies. I see an actual OB from 34 weeks on. I am thinking about just driving the extra 20 miles to each appointment to see her. I had a C-Section with my DS so I am unsure if I would be able to do the midwife route.
Quoting SweetpeaAK:
*Hugs* I'm sorry :( That sounds like a very dissapointing day!
I don't know if this is something you'd even be interested in, but have you considered going the birthing center/midwife route? Your situation just reminded me of one of my last appointments with my midwives and how very supportive they have been. I was having a really bad week and they let me talk about it and cry and even told me how it was a very safe place to cry. They got me tissues, gave me hugs when I left, and even asked how things were going one of the next times I called them with an unrelated question. I've just heard (and experienced) how much more personal the care and attention of a good midwife can be compared to a busy doctor/ob...
Regardless, things will look up!!!
I agree with the others in going the midwife route. I had a midwife for my last pregnancy and it's a BIG difference between midwife and ob/gyn. Midwives tend to spend more time with you and I felt like mine really listens to my concerns and cared about what I had to say- the ob's I've seen in the past didn't. If you're low-risk, look into it. A PP also said to look into a birthing center. I had my last son at a birthing center in a giant jacuzzi tub. It was the best experience of my life. I recommend it to everyone! :)
Yeah, I understand the whole long drive thing :( The tiny town I'm in has a hospital, but it doesn't have the facilities to handle anything other than emergency births, so I drive 90 miles to get to my midwife. I COULD have my normal OB appointments here, but I enjoy my midwife visits so much that it's worth the drive. I think it makes my hubby nervous, though, with me driving the long winter roads all the time (I live in AK), but I'm 39 weeks, so it shouldn't be too much longer!
Wanted to add, it will definitely depend on who you see (if you choose midwife or OB) when it comes to your VBAC. However, I've noticed most women have successful VBACs with a midwife (OB's like to allow "trial of labor" with many restrictions). Like I said before, I had my son at a birthing center with a midwife. I know they do VBACs there. The only stipulation was you couldn't have a water birth.
As far as the drive, I drove over an hour each way to my midwife appointments, from once a month to twice a month to once a week! It was the only way I could have my water birth I wanted and it was 100% without a doubt worth it. And I live not even 5 minutes from a regular hospital...but they don't allow water births and aren't too hip on "natural child birth". I think it would be worth your drive to get good care like you deserve. Don't settle for someone that you're not comfortable with just because of convenience.
Bumbo baby seat being branded as unsafe for children *PIOG*
- TDausman
on Mar. 21, 2010 at 1:31 AM