How do I handle this situation?..update in red...
My due date is next Sunday so my little man could be coming any time now! My fiance's mom and her husband smoke and I want to tell them if they want to hold the baby they must bring clean clothes to the hospital that don't smell like smoke....how do I tell them that? Do i get my fiance to do it?! And his stepdad drinks all day long from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed!!!!! He would bring a drink to the hospital if he could. I am supposed to let a drunk man hold my newborn? What do I do??? All advice is sooooo appreciated!! thanks ladies :)
so i brought my concerns up to my fiance last night after i wrote this and he started to get all pissy with me and have an attitude! i dont think that was right on his part because i was not arguing or yelling...just expressing my concern and that I wanted him to talk to his mom about it...he says if i feel that strongly about it that i should say something...which i have no problem doing but i just thought it would be better coming from him because he is her son! my fiance thinks i am keeping our baby "in a bubble" and being overprotective...which is not the case at all. I know my son will be around germs in his life...but come on!!! He will only be minutes old and i do not think it is right for him to be breathing in smoke from their clothes and alcohold from his step-dad...i can smell the aclohol on his breath whenever we see them and it bothers me.....soooo i absolutely, positively think it would bother a newborn!!!!!! and today is our anniversary so i dont want to bring it up today and fight about it...oh and last night he said we could deal with it when the time comes!!!! i said i want to be prepared because the baby could come any day now!!! so now what? do i just talk to his mom on my own and if they get they get mad?
I would get your fiance to do it since it is his family.
Ouch, those are tough questions. I think it is important that you and your fiance agree on your decision, and it would be better for him to tell them.
Oh, and I would not let a drunk man hold my newborn either. I would just make an excuse that you have to feed the baby, or the baby just wants his mommy.
wow, my first comment would be that this should have been discussed with your fiance before now and the next would be that he has to say something.
At this point his family may think that you are just trying to keep them from the new baby completely. That may be actually what you are trying to do, but you probably do not want to start your new family with a war with the future in-laws.
Quoting coolmom_4b:
wow, my first comment would be that this should have been discussed with your fiance before now and the next would be that he has to say something.
At this point his family may think that you are just trying to keep them from the new baby completely. That may be actually what you are trying to do, but you probably do not want to start your new family with a war with the future in-laws.
they know how i feel about smoking and my fiance already told his mom the baby can not be at her house because of the smoke so i think they would understand this....he told her that like 5 months ago
You have everyright to tell ur in-laws to wear or bring clean clothes but be prepared for the attitudes. when my nephew was born his mom didnt take him around the grandparents because they always are smoking. I dont think ive seen anybody so pissed cuz they said that she had no right to tell them they cant smoke (she never said that, she just wouldnt bring him around them)
Just heads up for the battle ahead Good Luck
Quoting kittin002002:
You have everyright to tell ur in-laws to wear or bring clean clothes but be prepared for the attitudes. when my nephew was born his mom didnt take him around the grandparents because they always are smoking. I dont think ive seen anybody so pissed cuz they said that she had no right to tell them they cant smoke (she never said that, she just wouldnt bring him around them)
Just heads up for the battle ahead Good Luck
thanks for the heads up!! lol
i had the same problem with my MIL and Dh talked to her before but she blew it off like it wasnt a big deal so he went and got her a t-shirt that said worlds best grandma and told her to put it on before she held him so we could take pics lol he's so sneaky sometimes lol
Quoting BabieBerrie:
i had the same problem with my MIL and Dh talked to her before but she blew it off like it wasnt a big deal so he went and got her a t-shirt that said worlds best grandma and told her to put it on before she held him so we could take pics lol he's so sneaky sometimes lol
thats an awesome idea!!! thanks!
WOW!!! I have this problem. My father in law smokes constantly even in his home. I had to have DH tell him he's not allowed to smoke around my children but it's still been very hard. He also drinks from sun up to well bed time (lol) and it's been an issue. Everything DH or I have said has gone unheard. I don't want to be a *itch but I think when this baby is born, I will have to be.
Trying to find a replacement for my old caffeine habit?
- mvines1021
on Apr. 7, 2010 at 7:13 PM