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Pregnancy Remorse?

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:20 PM
  • 32 Replies

I know this sounds so terrible....maybe I am just super scared or hormonal, but I have been regretting getting pregnant lately. My husband have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old daughter, and have been trying for over a year to get pregnant with our second, and now that I am, I am so miserable. All I can think about is how I am going to be overwhelmed and stressed out all of the time with two kids...partially because my husband is a pilot so he is gone for months at a time in the middle east...Has anyone else had these feelings?

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tiernansmummy
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:21 PM

BUMP!

TabHughes
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:23 PM

Its ok mommy...I felt that way in the begining but now I cant wait for our 2nd little girl to arrive.  I was very overwhelmed and panicked in the begining...I think it was mostly hormones...Everything will be fine! HUGS!

jya1124
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:27 PM

BUMP!

kimwilson16
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:28 PM

I felt that way in the begining especially since this one was a suprise. This is number four for me and our first girl. My kids will be 8,6, and 2 when our daughter will be born. We are really excited. Hang in there you will do great!

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Mommynwife26
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:29 PM
Yup that's all I have been thinking latley I have a 3yr old step son and a 3 yr old daughter and I get paniky cause they can be a handful and I cant imagine adding a new born to this mess! I keep thinking what the hell did I get myself into and that I am going to go crazy and regret it......
3Xthelove
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:30 PM

I didnt feel that way when I was pregnant with number 2, but now being pregnant with number 3 I do.  I really want this baby, but at times I ask myself how this is going to affect my other 2.  While this wasnt exactly planned, I really wanted another baby.  I just feel a little selfish that I am going to be having to take more time away from my older two (I work full time outside the home).  I think what you are feeling is normal.  Im sure once you get your routine down youll feel better.  Thats what Im hoping for!  Good luck. 

Pharintem
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:32 PM

I don't know exactly if I feel remorse...but I know where your coming from...I feel guilty thoug for feeling different about this baby then my first...I was so excited to be expecting him...and now with this one, I just don't know. I wanted to teach this coming up year and now I can't, baby is due in september. I think its just the hormones though, it'll all come together when I got this little one in my arms, and as for wondering how to handle two little ones, I think its one of those things you can't really plan for, you just fit into it...at least that's what I 'm hoping.

starrymonkey
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:36 PM

<~~~~  this is me jumping up and down with my hand in the air.  In case you can't hear, I'm screaming "me, me me!" at the top of my lungs.

DS has such major transitional issues (which is really just the tip of the iceburg), that at least once a day I have a minor panic attack.  I had a friend come stay the night with her 3 month old last week, and watching him with the baby... well, let's just say my minor panic attacks are now a bit less minor.

So is gone for 6 weeks at a time, and even when he's home - he tries, but he he gets frustrated so easily that I end up just taking over most of the time.  Not to mention, the timing is insane.  The baby is born, then we have DS's birthday party, then SO leaves, Halloween, DS's actual birthday, DS starts preschool, thanksgiving, christmas, new years - and family and friends in and out of town the whole time.

The only real relief I have right now is that my mom isn't placating me this time - she knows that I'm freaking out, and she knows that offering me f*ing platitudes like "everything will be fine" will just make it worse.  So she's being realistic with me (unlike SO who keeps telling me to "stop worrying about six months from now"), which helps, because I actually feel like I have a support base for once.

Plus, I know myself.  I know that I'll make it work - and I know my parents will take the kids if I need a break.  And DS's preschool timing is just about perfect.  Because he'll be gone all that time, I also know that I'll make sure to have one on one time with him when he gets home each day.  I couldn't guarentee myself that I would if he weren't starting school.  Maybe it's sad, but I think it's realisic.

I feel like if I seriously prepare myself for the worst case scenario I'll either be prepared if it really does turn into a nightmare - or I'll be pleasantly surprised if it really does turn out wonderfully!  Apparently, I'm the only only one who feels that way, and SO is now ready to either beat me over the head with a frying pan, or call the men in white coats to come take me on vacation.

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jya1124
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:42 PM

Thank you all so much....I just am so sick and tired and I just want to sleep, and of course I can't because my daughter is 2 1/2 and thats FINE, but then I start thinking OH MY GOD, how am I going to do it with 2?? I just feel bad in general. I don't know how I will love another as much as I love my daughter....I feel bad writing this its just how I feel. I'm glad I am not alone, and that you all are so supportive. Thank you so much.

Mrs.Loeffel
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:43 PM

i feel the same way. I have a 21 month old dd and lately when I don't have any energy, I feel like there is no way I can handle 2 kids. I know I will but its scary!

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