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I dont feel in control....

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:38 PM
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 Or at least even included in the decision of how my daughter is going to be deliverd!! this really bothers me, I used to see midwives and I felt involved and like i was heard, but with this Dr. He says this and that and Im jus spose to say ok,Hell no I did my homework and I know that jus cuz You are a Dr. doesnt make you right. But my gma always tellin me to watch wat I say cuz I can hurt his feelings,but what about mines??He'll get over it, hes just there to deliver a baby and thats it! He sees a million pregnant women,Im not gonna deliver a milllion babies!! He seems intimidated by me becuz I dont jus go with what he says, My reasons are becuz 1st off you are a man and you can study til ur damn eyes fall on the table and you will NEVER know what pregnancy or childbirth is like! 2ndly everything a Dr. says is not always a fact but sometimes an opinion. I said I wantd a labor coach and he got to fidgeting and luking uncomfortable(intimidation) And my grandma was sayin he feels like you dont trust him, and I said no, he jus feels like he won't be in control cuz dr.s can be arrogant and want to run everythng!!! Jus like he gone tell me if you choose to not get the epidural thts fine but I cant take any hollering and screaming that pissed me off, because it jus seems like you jus want ur job to be easier and dont care about the values or reasons why a woman wouldnt that! I dont even feel motivated to write a birth plan any more becuz it wont be listend to or evryone will try and argue me down!!

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by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
doulala
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:42 PM

YOU ARE RIGHT.

!!!

This is NOT about HIS feelings, it's his day job, after all.

But is IS your once-in-a-lifetime experience that you will carry with you for the rest of your life!!

You need to do what YOU want to do, not what he wants~     after all, you did hire him (not the other way around!).

Your grandmother comes from a different era of maternity care.    These days, women really need to watch out for themselves.


sparklebug86
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:44 PM

how far along are you? you could always look for another dr. .....

meam4444
by Emerald Member on May. 26, 2010 at 6:46 PM

I would be searching around for another doctor/midwife.  Definately speak your mind!

CTRedSoxMom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:59 PM

Switch doctors...

Hrivera5
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:23 PM

 Find someone else!

ready_for2
by on May. 26, 2010 at 7:27 PM

wow that is horrible!! you should look for a new care provider! how far along are you?

is there a reason you cannot see a midwife again? there are some doctors who are more supportive than others, it sounds like u just got one of the worst. and he is not showing any care towards you or your feelings. it sounds like he just wants you to be a good little patient, get your epi, and lay down and be good and wait for him to come deliver your baby. instead of letting you labor how you want, make whatever sounds you need to, and let YOU have your baby.

no one should be cared for by a person they do not trust or do not feel comfortable around. this is a great way to hinder your labor, or even shut it off completely.

mummie2b2010
by on May. 27, 2010 at 6:18 PM

 Thnks ladies! I am 35 weeks and high risk So I wont be able to go bk to a midwife and probably cant change care providers now

lovemynutterbut
by on May. 27, 2010 at 6:22 PM

I agree with u at ur hospital they might have a birthing coach or midwife there you can use Id go in before you are due and talk to them let your doctor know you are more comfortable with a one on one experience with someone who has the time to sit in the room with you and coach you through. Its nothing against him but you know he'll be running in between patients

pacificamom
by on May. 27, 2010 at 6:23 PM

Oh I'd still do that birthplan and give a ton of copies to whoever is going to be there with you to distribute at each shift change. It's horrible feeling labor is out of your hands-i felt like that with #1 for sure. I hope you can work this out before delivery!

ready_for2
by on May. 27, 2010 at 6:24 PM


Quoting mummie2b2010:

 Thnks ladies! I am 35 weeks and high risk So I wont be able to go bk to a midwife and probably cant change care providers now

is there more than one doctor in the practice you are going to? maybe you could see someone else in the same practice? im sorry you are going through this, this BS restrictions on women suck so bad and really limit our choices, sometimes down to none.

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