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How to tell my step son the news....

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:17 PM
  • 8 Replies

Okay, I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow, and my husband and I have put off telling my step son I'm pregnant because of his mother. We also work with a group of people that we are not ready to tell either (if they start noticing the belly, its fine, but we don't want to actually tell the group) Anyways, we just picked up my step son today and after the fourth we're taking him to my moms, where we plan to tell him the news. My question is, how do we tell him? I've heard of older kids (he's eleven) getting angry and not wanting to accept the fact that they aren't going to be the only one anymore (he was angry with his mom six years ago when he found out he was having a sister) I just don't want to chance upsetting him and want to break it to him easily...Any ideas?

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:17 PM
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Replies (1-8):
bonniemommy100
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:26 PM

I would sit him down and ask him how he would el if e where to hav a brother or sister and once he anwser's (weither he doesn' want or he dose) tell him that you are expecting and that he can be with you at your doctors appt and ultasound's have him be a part of the pregnancy i know it's hard but this is what i did with my DD wth her brother and this pergnancy...good luck momma

Allie01
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:26 PM

BUMP... My three year old was asking for a brother or sister for months before we got pregnant so we didn't have a hard time telling her. Maybe he will be excited! Good luck!!

majikalmama
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 8:30 PM
Bump my kids don't really understand yet even though I tell all the time lol
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grapejelly
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:19 PM

my situation is a little different than yours, but I'll share it with you in case it helps at all.

I have 12 year old step daughter who lives with her mom full-time, we only get her around christmas and summer times.  Well when she came up to stay with us around Christmas (I was about 12-13 weeks along).  We told her after picking her up from the airport.  My hubby kind of just blurted it out to her.  We made sure to tell her that she wouldn't need to care for the baby at all (she's got 2 siblings from her birth mom, who she practically raises...) and that it wouldn't change her time with us or how we feel about her.  We asked her how she felt, she responded she was ok with it.  She wasn't overly excited, just ok.  So we gave it time to settle in.  now when we talk on the phone, she asks more about the baby and how I'm doing (I'm 39 weeks now).  So she is showing more excitement now. 

I think just be upfront with your step son, and explain how things will be once the baby arrives, reassure him that things will change but how you and your hubby feel about him won't...

LaceyN1121
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:22 PM

My daughter is 7 I told her she was having a brother or sister and she was excited, and she turned out to be a great big sister she even changes dirty diapers.... My nephew was 11 when my sister had her second baby and he just rebelled a little just didn't want anything to do with the baby, but preteen years are like that anyway... With the third baby he was fine he just turned 13 so I guess its just timing... Just come out and tell him that you guys are having a baby and reassure him that does not mean you love him any less

mrseckstein
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:23 PM
This is very good advice

Quoting grapejelly:

my situation is a little different than yours, but I'll share it with you in case it helps at all.


I have 12 year old step daughter who lives with her mom full-time, we only get her around christmas and summer times.  Well when she came up to stay with us around Christmas (I was about 12-13 weeks along).  We told her after picking her up from the airport.  My hubby kind of just blurted it out to her.  We made sure to tell her that she wouldn't need to care for the baby at all (she's got 2 siblings from her birth mom, who she practically raises...) and that it wouldn't change her time with us or how we feel about her.  We asked her how she felt, she responded she was ok with it.  She wasn't overly excited, just ok.  So we gave it time to settle in.  now when we talk on the phone, she asks more about the baby and how I'm doing (I'm 39 weeks now).  So she is showing more excitement now. 


I think just be upfront with your step son, and explain how things will be once the baby arrives, reassure him that things will change but how you and your hubby feel about him won't...

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pacificamom
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:24 PM

BUMP!

christine.r2624
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:27 PM

 My son is 3 so it was alot different for me telling him. Im 10 and 11 yrs older than my siblings (from my mom)and they just told me, but I really wanted siblings so I was excited. With my siblings from my bio father, I didnt even know 2 of them existed til they were 2 and 4 yrs old. by that time, I had my first son already, and no relationship with that side of my family so I really didnt care, but I have worked on trying to build a relationship with them.

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