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ugh, i dont know what to do.

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:57 PM
  • 20 Replies

ok here's my story.  im due to have my DD on november 14th.  her father is not involved because he has a son on the way by his SO in september.  i want to be friends with his SO for the sinple fact of that being her brother.  but i dont want to blow everything.  i want my DD to know who her family is.  do any of you mommas have any advice?  i just want her to know who everyone is and i want to be civil but having to lie about who my babys father is just kills me.

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by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrspreggers14
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:03 PM

I dont know.. Thats a tough situation..  I agree that its a good idea that the two babies know each other..  Have you talked to the babys daddys S/O about being friends and whatnot?? 

doulala
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:05 PM

So he doesn't want to be involved with his daughter, your baby ?


mrseckstein
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:05 PM

This is a very different situation to say the least. I hope it does work out. If even the BD is in your childs life. It's important for a child to have a father in their life as long as they are not dead beat dads.


vmoneyb7
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:09 PM

well the thing is he does want to be involved its just he wants to be able to be involved with his SO's baby too, and if he lets her know that he fathered my baby to they will both be gone for good, its the kind of girl she is.  i have talked to her about it but i am worried that when my DD and his DS are born they will look like their father. and its not something i will be able to hide forever.

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sparklebug86
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:10 PM

wow.... im really sorry you are going through that! Im glad you are wanting to be civil though. Have you tried to talk to his SO or you are not in contact at all? Does the father want absolutely nothing to do with her or hes torn because of his SO?

sparklebug86
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:11 PM

so she does know you are pregnant with his child?

Quoting vmoneyb7:

well the thing is he does want to be involved its just he wants to be able to be involved with his SO's baby too, and if he lets her know that he fathered my baby to they will both be gone for good, its the kind of girl she is.  i have talked to her about it but i am worried that when my DD and his DS are born they will look like their father. and its not something i will be able to hide forever.


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vmoneyb7
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:14 PM

he is involved with her. and not involved with me. i have talked to her and i have had to lie about everything. its really hurting me and it will end up hurting my DD and her DS if i have to lie about it forever and she finds out like i know she will.  i just dont know what to think about any of it anymore.  he still loves me and he is very happy that i am doing this for him. but he deant realize i am doing this more for my DD than him. if i fuck him over he will disappear forever and my DD wont see her dad but as of right now he is secretively involved with his DD (my baby)

Quoting sparklebug86:

wow.... im really sorry you are going through that! Im glad you are wanting to be civil though. Have you tried to talk to his SO or you are not in contact at all? Does the father want absolutely nothing to do with her or hes torn because of his SO?

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Joeysmom6
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:15 PM
Wait, I guess I'm confused. You slept with a man who is involved with someone else and he can't be a part of your DDs life because his SO doesn't know that he fathered your baby too? Is that right?

I can't tell you how I'd handle the situation until I understand it KWIM?
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vmoneyb7
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:16 PM

no she knows im pregnant but i am hiding the fact that its his baby. i have told her that i dont know who the father is.

Quoting sparklebug86:

so she does know you are pregnant with his child?

Quoting vmoneyb7:

well the thing is he does want to be involved its just he wants to be able to be involved with his SO's baby too, and if he lets her know that he fathered my baby to they will both be gone for good, its the kind of girl she is.  i have talked to her about it but i am worried that when my DD and his DS are born they will look like their father. and its not something i will be able to hide forever.

 


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LiviaA
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:20 PM

Personally I think the other woman deserves to know the truth, but that's just my 2 cents

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