Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Sorry.. A vent this morning **So I talked to her...

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:20 AM
  • 13 Replies

 I can't take my friend much longer! I don't really mean forever but I just need a BREAK! Bc of the way DH works she was supposed to stay with me when it got close to my EDD so if something happened I would have someone here since we have no famliy out here. Well DH came home early this week because of the uncertainty of the Tropical Storm in the Gulf and his boss didn't want him to get stuck because of weather and not be here. Sooo I told her he was coming home so it was ok she didnt' have to come. Well she decided to come over anyhow but she tells me she doesnt plan on leaving until TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY!? I'm scheduled to be induced Monday night... I told her there really isnt any point she comes Monday night bc not much is going on and I down played it telling her they were giving me antibiotics and then I would just sleep until 6am ... Well she said the little time she can get at the hospital since she has a meeting Tuesday when the baby is born she would like to spend there... well I've pretty much told her Id rather it just be DH and I.. and she still has hinted at going! Then DH and I were talkingn and I said somethign about my mom taking off of work to help me after we get back home because chances are I'll have a section and DH can help alot but I know he will be tired too... my friend then says... WELL I'LL BE AROUND TOO SO IF YOUR MOM DOESNT WANT TO TAKE OFF SHE DOESNT HAVE TO..... nooooooooo I don't want her here 24/7 when the baby is born. I don't mind for people to come visit... or for my mom to be here to help me around the house while we get used to having the baby etc but I don't know what else to do without being flat out mean. When she made the comment about staying I told her well my mom was going to stay so really that was enough and she said well I have to be out here any ways gettting stuff ready for my class so it won't be a big deal. (shes a teacher to a school about 20 mins away and  she lives with her parents right at an hr away while her house is being built closer to the school) I know she has stayed her a good bit in the last 2 months because we let her since the drive back and forth was long and when DH was at work it wouldnt leave me alone 100% of the time. I just don't know what to do anymore... I don't want to be mean and say GO HOME! but I just feel that its a time for DH and I to bond with the baby and get use to life with the baby I don't really want her here... My mom is ok because when she stayed with my SIL after hers she helped around the house and let them get used to the baby... she didn't try to take over etc. I just know my friend will want to sit here and just hold the baby. I also made the comment last night that I didn't mind people to see and hold the baby as long as they weren't sick and they washed their hands but I didnt want anyone holding the baby for long periods of time.. just a few mins here or there... and she flat out says WELL I'M HOLDING THAT BABY... iwas like wtf!? I know you will hold him but not for hours!?

 I told her earlier that I really didnt need her at the hospital because nothing would be going on and that even after we have the baby I wasn't looking for people to camp out all day besides our parents but I would have to tell the nurses that so it doesnt get out of hand.. and she says well you better not kick me out... and i said well I dont mind you going for a little while but not for hours. and she said oh... and that was it.. then I mentioned about after the baby is born for it to be us to really get used to everything and that my mom would come by for a few hrs each day to help me with the house so I can take care of the baby and besides that we didn't want much visitors for the first little while... and she was like well what about me?! I told her well she can come for a little while but again it wouldnt be to camp out for hours and hold the baby the whole time... I told her I will be tired we will be trying to get used to things and I'll be trying to BF... she didnt seem to happy but I told her sorry that there was more to this than she thinks.. I think shes a little pissy now.. but sorry...

also this is my post from a few days ago about another situation I'm going through with her... any help is GREATLY appreciated!

http://www.cafemom.com/group/266/forums/read/11877800/So_what_do_you_think_I_should_do

Lilypie Maternity tickers

 

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mstevens10
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:25 AM

 bump!

mstevens10
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:47 AM

 23 views and no one!? lol

VJennyLynnS
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:52 AM

Sounds like shes not one to take a hint so if you really don't want her there you are going to have to tell her. I know you don't want to be mean to your friend and you dont have to be. Just explain to her that you would rather just have your DH there with you. That you would prefer it just be the two of you. If she can't accept that then she's not a very good friend. Good luck!

ginnyk87
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:55 AM

I would kindly sit her down and say dh and i have already made up our minds who we want in the delivery room.  You wer going to be, but since he is here we no longer need you.  I would also let her know this is a personal bonding experience that you cannot get back and would like it to just be dh and you for a while.  If she gets mad, oh well! You can tell the nurses who you want in your room and I would just go ahead and do that and when you feel like visitors, tell the nurses to let ppl come in.  I would stand your ground because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

CafeMom Tickers
mstevens10
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:38 AM

 I guess I will just have to be blunt with her.. but I know if it were me staying with somone who is pregnat etc I would want to give them time.... I wouldn't want to barge in and stuff.. but thats just me...

and Ginnyk i didn't think about telling the nurses ... i think i'll do that

Quoting ginnyk87:

I would kindly sit her down and say dh and i have already made up our minds who we want in the delivery room.  You wer going to be, but since he is here we no longer need you.  I would also let her know this is a personal bonding experience that you cannot get back and would like it to just be dh and you for a while.  If she gets mad, oh well! You can tell the nurses who you want in your room and I would just go ahead and do that and when you feel like visitors, tell the nurses to let ppl come in.  I would stand your ground because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

 

Lilypie Maternity tickers

 

Nameismommy
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:40 AM

BUMP!

ashleywagoner
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:48 AM
You should just be honest...This is a special time for your family, and you just want it to be you and your husbad there.Just tell her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.happy05
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:55 AM

I think you will have to be blunt too.  But I would blame it on hormones and maybe say that as it gets closer you are just needing to be alone with dh and after you are going to need some time.  She is your friend, and she should be able to understand that. 

mstevens10
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 11:23 AM
Everythng can be blamed on hormones!! :-)

Quoting Mrs.happy05:

I think you will have to be blunt too.  But I would blame it on hormones and maybe say that as it gets closer you are just needing to be alone with dh and after you are going to need some time.  She is your friend, and she should be able to understand that. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrseckstein
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 5:10 PM
I'm thinking like someone else said you might have to be a bit more blunt with her because it seems like perhaps she is not getting what you are trying to say.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)