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i've got to stop reading cafemom.

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:52 PM
  • 10 Replies

so i had an appt this morning. my due date is thursday and i haven't really had any contractions yet, i'm dilated between 1 and 2 and at least 75% effaced.. my family is getting extremely impatient, which is causing me to become impatient.. when i sit back and think i know that i really don't care if this baby hangs out for another week or two but my family is aggravated that she isn't here now..

so my mom and my husband went to my appt with me.. while we were waiting for the midwife to come back my mom asked if i was going to let the midwife check me today.. i told her i would now but i didn't want to be checked once i went in labor. she asked why, and i said "well whats the point" and went on to explain how i felt like them checking me during labor made no difference... i also mentioned how i did not want to be induced anytime soon.. i can understand once you are way past due or if something goes wrong but i have had no complications, my blood pressure and everything is perfect.. i have no reason to be induced.. so i just sit there waiting for my midwife while my mom and my husband tell me how i'm being stupid and i read cafemom to much and that nobody here knows what they're talking about and even though i've done a lot of reading on all of this that since i read on cafemom so much that i have no clue what i'm talking about and i should just hush and let the doctor do whatever they want..

i was seriously about to cry.. i stood up for myself and then i just shut up and waited for the midwife.. when she came in i could tell she obviously heard our whole conversation and thankfully she seemed to take my side. she asked me if i wanted to be checked today because it wasn't necessary, she said it was up to me.. and then she said she doesn't plan on inducing until i'm too past due.. she asked me my opinions on it and i told her i didn't want to be induced because i didn't want all the medications and also the increased risk of having a c-section after being induced.. she told me i was absolutely right..

so i feel a little better since my midwife took up for me some, but i'm still upset and feel like crying since my mom just stood there and kept saying "bullshit" about everything" and my husband was just going along with her.. ((my mom did work in labor and delivery for a couple of years which made my husband take her side, but my mom is just an RN, she isn't an OB or pediatrician))

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:52 PM
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by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:54 PM

I don't let my mom in on any of the inner decisions of my pregnancies, L&D and childrearing choices. She needs to back off. She already had her kids, now it's your turn to do things the way you want to. I'm so glad your midwife stood up for you. You shouldn't have to deal with this crap. (((hugs)))

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:55 PM

 That sucks.... luckily, when the baby does decide to come, no matter the hows, they'll both shut up and adore.  Who wouldn't.


by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:56 PM

Dont feel bad I have the same issues with my mom but Dh and her don't get along so he usually says its your body I will stick with your decision luckily. Plus my MIL who also is an RN usually sides with me and is my biggest support after my husband

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:09 PM

 Your body, your choice.  Good thing you midwife took your side!!  Try not to get upset:)  Your little girl will be here soon enough - when she's ready!!!

by Amber on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:42 PM

My in laws (ALL of them) said the same thing about anything and everything I chose and "thought" I knew. I made it clear none of them would get a call until the day after the baby was born- they wouldn't be there to "support" me if they didn't really support me. My MIL was also a RN and worked in L&D, and had three children of her own. She told me exactly how it would be.

Just prove em wrong and do what YOU want, to hell with what everyone else thinks.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 2:00 PM

 kudos to you for standing up for yourself

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:49 PM

thanks everyone for reading my vent.. my mom decided to go to my aunts today and stay for a few days.. we live 9 hrs away from my mom and family and my aunt is only about 3 hours away.. i didn't ask her to leave and we didn't fight or anything, she just needed to get out of the house because she has been staying with us for over a week just waiting for this baby to be born, i'm happy though cause i needed a little bit of space and when the baby is born i will be happy for her to be here. i know she was trying to help but i wasn't happy about the way she was going about telling me..

i talked to my husband tonight and he said he understood why i didn't want to be checked or induced but he also agreed with my mom that i've been reading too much information on the internet and stuff.. he's been gone for 7 months of my pregnancy, i've had nothing to do except read and learn about my pregnancy and what is going on with me.. i don't believe everything i read on the internet.. and everything i said today my midwife backed me up on so idk what the problem is.. isn't it better to be informed rather than just sit there and let a doctor do whatever they want to you.. i do trust my midwife but i'd rather go in knowing my options and what i can do to make sure this birth goes the best it can for me and the baby.. i think my husband was just upset that he comes up with random information and i tell him he's wrong and then google it and prove it to him.. he'd rather me just agree with him.. *i do admit it when he is right* but my husband will start spewing random facts like "that car happens to be the fastest car on the road" or something stupid like that and i just shake my head and say i highly doubt it, then i google it and figure it out.. 

this went from a rant to a ramble.. sorry... thanks for reading though

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:55 PM

I can relate hun! ((hugs)) My SO said the same things to me. I wasn't a doctor so everything I said was a bunch of BS, according to him. Our bickering about the upcoming labor continued all the way up until I was actually in labor, and it still comes up every now and then (the baby's 10 months old). Just continue sticking up for yourself. You know what's right for YOUR body. And it's really great that your midwife backed you up. It's really hard when your care provider contradicts what you're saying, even when you know it's right (I had that experience with my old OB).

in love   toddler girl  toddler boy   breastfeeding

Steve & Steph         Kayla Rose         Brennan Gerard      Evan James

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by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:08 PM

Good for you!!! I'm glad you are sticking to your needs and what YOU feel is best! *hugs*

Let them be's not their body or your mom's baby.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:16 PM
I'm sorry mama, that would have really upset me too. I'm glad the midwife was agreeing with you. I'm lucky because my mom and DH are supportive and they are more into natural births than I am even, lol. They are the reason I did my iwn research and made the decisions I have. Good luck mama, I know the waiting game is hard, but it will be so worth it!
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