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my marriage is falling apart

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:53 PM
  • 10 Replies
Ok so I'm 7 weeks pregnant and my marriage is falling apart. Its been falling apart for a long time. But normally when me and the hubby would get back together I would be able to show him love and affection. Now I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't know what is wrong with me. Grrrr, our relationship has been full of lies, adultery and abuse. I want everything to be erased and feel as if nothing ever happened but I can't get past it I need someone to talk to. Help
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by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
shellie830
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:56 PM

 Good luck hun! I have been in a relationship w/ someone who cheated and abused me if you need to talk anytime you can IM me:)

wiser_then_ever
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:56 PM

hugs mama ive been there - you can message me anytime. we've been separated quite a bit due to things as well as a legal separation...

Jonathan101909
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:58 PM
It cant be about erasing, you have to work through your problems. Good luck to you.
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Cafe Kate
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:59 PM

hugs

maybebaby83
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:01 PM

 I think you deserve better (if he is the one doing the lying, cheating, abusing!).. it's time to move on! Some people DONT change.. not that they can't, they just won't... you dont deserve a life like that and neither does your child....

Good luck.. I know it will be hard, but I say get out of the marriage before something worse happens.. you cant always forgive and forget...

SullivanMommy
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:02 PM

Ive been trying to get past the same exact things with my fiance for the last 2-3 years. I still have bad bad days when i cry. I dont trust him, I check his phone, emails, facebook.... i dont feel comfortable with him going out. he doesnt care to, he also doesnt care if i check everything. He hasnt been unfaithful but i still have that fear and that pain. It never goes away. Its gotten easier but it will never completely be gone. You have to ask yourself a couple questions.

#1 Is he trying to change and move on with you?

#2 Are you strong enough and willing to go through a mourning period and take a new perspective on your relationship?

#3 Do you think you can feel safe and secure with him, as you bring a child into your life?

 

ITS SO HARD! The pain and frustration isnt easy at all. Especially being pregnant. I went through mylast pregnancy without my fiance because he was off tramping around pretending like he didnt have a child on the way. It took him a while to realize that he DID want to be a man and have a family that could be respectful. He had alot of growing up to do. BUT if he didnt really want to make the right changes he wouldnt still be here. I hope you can end up with a happy outcome. IT CAN WORK. You just have to accept that it will never be perfect.

 

bump

 

chais_wifey
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:03 PM

It's not possible to erase things, just to move on from them. If you need someone to talk to, why not find a therapist? In my personal experience it has been very useful to have someone who is not personally involved to give you an unbiased opinion. I hope things get better.

miyucamui
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:06 PM

if a guy ever cheated on me, i would leave him but thats just me

CraZyBlonDie007
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:30 PM
We have both cheated, both lied but I can't even look him in the face while we r having sex. And now I just feel like that's all he wants to do is have sex. He says he wants to have sex with me his wife and that's it and that he craves me but I don't feel the same way about him. He won't get the picture. Its not that I'm trying to push him away its that I need to fix my head in order to get shit straight in my marriage. I have this problem about running away from my problems and I want to run right now but can't. I just can't do it. Grrrr
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young_spook
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:41 PM

If your marriage is bad for you, then there's nothing wrong with you in not being able to show him love. You shouldn't have to show somebody love who treats you like that. 

No matter what happens you'll need time to get over what has hurt you and you need to not be hurt while you're taking that time. It took me two years so don't rush yourself. 

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