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Wish my hubby would help more, just need some support **VENT**

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:27 PM
  • 15 Replies

I am a stay at home mom and I have no problem doing the duties that SAHM's are suppose to do like care for the children and cleaning and such but I am now 25 weeks pregnant and I feel like I'm doing EVERYTHING but making the money. I sometimes feel like a single mom. I do ALL of the laundry, the dishes, taking care of the children and I have to make sure the hubby has work clothes ready and I'm always cleaning up after him. He never even helps with cleaning out the bath and bathing the kids. I also do all of the grocery shopping with both kids with me. When I ask if one of the kids can stay with him he asks me why I can't just take them. This is all getting very exhausting for me. When he has a day off he literally just plays ps3 ALL DAY. I've brought it up to him and he just blows it off. Anyone else having the same problems? What should I do? Because he doesn't listen when I bring it up to him. I hate to see what happens when this baby gets here because I'm having a c-section and I can see having to care for 3 kids by myself. He hasn't always been like this.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
abra
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:32 PM

(((hugs))) I am so sorry! For the last 5 years my hubby worked a job that was taking pretty much ALL of his time (Even evenings and weekends) and I felt like a single mom. It was horrible!

nf1
by Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:33 PM

BUMP!

palemoon21
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:37 PM

You guys really need to have a heart to heart. A serious convo on how you are feeling.....one without pointing fingers or blame game. None of that stuff, just blunt facts about how you are feeling. Ask him for his help. Let him know that you are overwhelmed.

*hugs* all you can really do at this point is communicate your needs and hope that he is receptive to you. Good luck sweetie!!!!

JZB
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:38 PM

The PS3 would be locked up until be becomes a dad again

mommaof3boyz88
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:48 PM

BUMP!

doulala
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:48 PM

Bring him to a prenatal appointment, maybe.    Let him hear you our this out to your care provider.

Get a doula to help you~    he will have to shell out the bucks for that...     ;- /

I was thinking you could leave and go to the store, call him from down the block and say YOU LEFT, he HAS to watch the kids, lol.
Or don't get groceries...    he will get hungry...      maybe order delivery.

You can also have the grocery store deliver, too...      
There are some ways to alleviate the strain but are more costly--    the threat of paying can be enough to encourage a guy to help!

Will you have more help for postpartum?     Sounds like you'll really want some.     Would you  prefer to avoid a cesarean?

LoveBnANavyWife
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:51 PM

That's pretty much the same thing i'm going through, except we have no kids at the moment but the one on the way. He has actually changed a lot, now that i'm 37 weeks and almost there and helps out too, he still gets on my nerves with things though, I feel like i'm CONSTANTLY cleaning up everything and it's just us. It's exhausting!

hang in there mama, i would sit down and talk to him though, seems like with you already having kids he would understand and know how it is.

 

MommyToBeOfTwo
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Well that ps3 would be gone.my dh has the same problem and his cod disk goes missing from time to time.tell him to grow up and get with the program.I stopped doing his laundry and cleaning after him.I put all dirty clothes and dishes in a container and left it in our room til he did something with it.didn't take too long.GL!
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jessicaaris
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:43 PM
I can definitely relate! Except my husband plays xbox, lol. He will help out if I ask him to but he also works long hours and I feel bad asking him to sometimes. But you have to stop and think that you can't (and shouldn't) do everything yourself. I am very independent and I like doing things myself but with kids and a house and life, its just not possible. It is exhausting NOT pregnant. If I am feeling burnt out or like I need some help I just talk to my husband about it. He always helps if I ask him to. He is never going to know its an issue if you don't talk to him about it (even though it seems obvious to you). Good luck!
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mommaof3boyz88
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 10:50 AM

Thanks for some advise. I would love to not have a c-section but I have to due to health issues. Do people get doula's when having a c-section or is that strictly for natural births?

Quoting doulala:

Bring him to a prenatal appointment, maybe.    Let him hear you our this out to your care provider.

Get a doula to help you~    he will have to shell out the bucks for that...     ;- /

I was thinking you could leave and go to the store, call him from down the block and say YOU LEFT, he HAS to watch the kids, lol.
Or don't get groceries...    he will get hungry...      maybe order delivery.

You can also have the grocery store deliver, too...      
There are some ways to alleviate the strain but are more costly--    the threat of paying can be enough to encourage a guy to help!

Will you have more help for postpartum?     Sounds like you'll really want some.     Would you  prefer to avoid a cesarean?


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