FREEBIRTH of ZULI BLAC 8.31.10

 My first Daughter was born free into water at 10 am on August 31, weighing 8 pounds and 20 inches long.

 Labor "began" about August 29.  Cranky so tired and grumpy.  Napped alot.  Took a bath and sort of timed contractions for awhile, noticed they were 8-12 min apart.  Was hoping by focusing on them they'd stop - no luck.

 August 30 was different - I felt wide awake, chipper, happy, well-settled and just good in general.  My friend commented that I was nesting, or otherwise preparing, and I denied it.  I had contractions all day but breezed through them and mostly ignored them.

 But by 9 pm, I'd been having heavy contractions and was starting to lose my cool with the boys.  We did eggs and cheese for dinner while I washed my last load of towels and baths, and all that.  Zimm was VERY clingy and basically refused to go to bed until almost 11 pm.  

 I took some pictures, cleaned up the bathroom and prepared my 'space' for birthing. 

 From about 11 to 2 am, I took a bath, played on the computer, and noticed my contractions were basically every 2 min apart and about a min and a half long!  They were hard but not intense.  I was able to cope through them really easily.  But by 2 I got tired of 'pretending' to be in labor, so I put my "stuff" away and went to bed.  Slept between contractions, which slowed down significantly but had intensified.

 Got back up around 4 or 5 am, dammit, back into the tub.  This time I was pissy and sore and the tub wasn't filling fast enough, I was mad that I wasn't able to sleep and convinced now that I was going to have to do this for the next MONTH and I was just not happy about it.  Stayed in the tub, then getting on the toilet, squatting on the floor, dealing with heavy contractions for about 2 or 3 hours.  I knew I had probably hit the point of no return when I started peeing during contractions, and the toilet didn't feel as good as it did in the beginning. 

 At 7 the boys got up, so I pried myself out of the tub, got dressed and we all went to the kitchen.  After realizing the contractions wouldn't slow down long enough to cook, I grabbed a box of cereal, bowls and milk and we went back to the room.  Table cloth on the floor, cartoons on the tv.  I texted my friend to tell her I though I might be in labor if she wanted to PLEASE come get the boys!  She told me it would be an hour.  That was the longest hour.  I wanted to get in the tub but the boys were wanting to play and I wasn't doing well with them.  Poor boys.

 Azzo did ask me if "your baby is hurting your belly" and I said, "Yeah, kind of" and he told me "she want to come out now?" and I said "I'm pretty sure, yeah"

 So my friend came, her hubby took the boys to play at their house.  She stayed behind to keep me company from afar and run interference with anyone at the house that would possibly poke around.  BLESS HER.

 Soon as the boys were going out the door I was running the tub and jumped in.  Instantly I started zoning, trancing and focusing deep on the contractions and letting go opening up going DOWN etc.

 They were very close and hard and heavy.  I moved around, I breathed alot, but didn't vocalize.  Rocked and breathed with eyes closed.  Holdineltg perfectly still during contractions felt really good, as long as I was totally relaxed and OPEN it was wonderful.  Frog-squatting felt good.  Sitting on the toilet started to suck though.  I knew my baby was posterior because I could feel hands low in front, and knees in front on the sides of my uterus.  Not exactly my ideal!  So my body wanted to be leaning back on the toilet, and leaning far forward (hands and knees) anywhere else.

 Finally I hit the "sweet spot" of comfort - leaning over the side of the tub, frog squatting, with my head laid on the edge.  I fell straight asleep and got a looong much needed break between contractions.  During this "sleep" I had a dream like felt a 'message' from both "mother" and "eve" as two seperate entities directing my labor and reassuring me that I was doing well and all sorts of cool stuff.  I woke up for one contraction and went back to sleep again.  Next contraction I woke up and heard myself thinking, clear as day, You'll be pushing soon.  I checked myself with a finger and felt the water bag about an inch in, it made me smile.

 So then I ignored the next contraction, thinking my body will push when it's ready...  I didn't have the bearing down feeling, but felt like I "NEEDED" to push.  So I felt it out.  Immediately my body took up and I bore down three times in one contraction.  My water bag broke underwater.  Out came lots of vernix!  Hooray!  Clear water.  A good sign.

 Then nothing.  I was expecting the baby to fly out, sort of.  I felt knees moving.  Still posterior.  Got out of the tub.  Next contraction hit and I tried the toilet, OW no good.  Tried the floor, frog squat.  No good.  Tried hands and knees, AHHH relief.  No urge to push.  Next contraction, still no urge but a demanding pain.  I pushed voluntarily, body took over.  I couldn't stop.  It hurt, but it felt good to feel the baby so close.  I felt head coming down.  It stopped at the opening, burning.  Stayed there during the break.  Next contraction, back in the tub to the water, the burning was SO strong and I couldn't get comfortable "on land".  As soon as I was in the tub I figured out my body wanted to be on hands and knees.  I felt bad cause I couldn't catch but as soon as the next contraction came I knew it was almost over.  I pushed long and hard and the head was born, tried to stop but everything hurt so I pushed again long and hard and thought it was odd the body was taking so long to birth.  I felt an instinct to hurry and get the baby out.  Finally baby popped and slithered out, I reached between my legs and the baby was "swimming" away from me, facing down with arms outstretched.  I sort of saw girl bits but caught her up and brought her to me, and immediately out of the tub. 

Yep!  Girl!  And SOOO purple, seemed odd.  Blood streaming down my legs, hm, that's pretty soon for the placenta?  Did I tear?  Focus back on baby.  She's not breathing yet, still purple, but eyes open and looking around.  Short cord, won't reach my breast.  I get on my knees and I rub on her, back looks like it's smeared in cream cheese so much vernix.  Long nails...  still purple, then quietly starts breathing and getting pink.  Relief.  I feel crampy and pushy, not even two minutes after birthing, there's a rush of blood and heavy sensation.  I squat and the placenta is born.  I'm kind of shocked, it was so fast.  Call for my friend, who just came in from outside, to helps me get towels and to the bed. 

 Lay her on my chest, and we have breast crawl after a few minutes.  Lots of cramping and bleeding, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Everything is FAST is how I feel...

 We weighed her at 8 lbs, measured at 20 in with a 14" head...  The shape of her head, and the position she was in when I caught her out of the water make me think she was born posterior?  But I'm not sure, I didn't actually SEE it for myself.  I do know that hands and knees birth was the ONLY way that felt "right" and she took awhile even in that position...  And also being so Purple, not the whitish, squeezed-out look makes me wonder if the placenta detached some time before she was born??  I don't know.  But I felt a growing sense of urgency from waking up feeling "You'll push soon" to the moment her placenta came out.  Once that happened, all felt well in my body in mind.

 She is doing wonderfully now.   Very alert when awake, she makes eye contact and seems to really love the attention from her brothers.  She sleeps alot, more than my 2nd but not as catatonically as my first.  Very calm, she's only cried a few times.  She nurses well though has a somewhat shallow latch, has passed lots of meconium and made many pees.  She is BEAUTIFUL and has tons of long black hair and reminds me so much of my first born, takes after her father for sure.  She'll be a beautiful beautiful girl growing up :)