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Am I terrible?

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:31 PM
  • 6 Replies

I know that the feeling of your child moving within you is the most beautiful feeling the world. That it lets you know how your child is growing and living inside you; part of you but independent. A moving baby is a healthy baby, and if movement stops you should call the OB for advice. It's a miraculous event to have your baby move inside you.

Only one problem.

I can't stand it.

I understand on a mental level that it's necessary, and know that I should enjoy it. But it creeps me out. I feel, emotionally, like I have a foreign object in me that is trying to get out. I have 13 more weeks of this, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes, when he kicks, my brain goes, "Ewwwww."


Shouldn't I have some sort of positive reaction to my baby moving? I feel like a horrible person. 

And on that note, I feel very emotionally detached from my baby. He has a name, and we're almost done with his room. I would rather die than have him harmed that's my naturally protective side I suppose, but I feel only mild affection for him. I don't think of him and have a swelling of positive emotions. I suppose love comes later, after I actually meet him? 

I dunno. What do you guys think? Should I feel bad about being grossed out by my baby moving and not feeling love towards him?

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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:31 PM
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:33 PM

No alot of woman go through it. When you look back at this you will probably laugh at your self. I use to get so freaked out when my oldest kicked me, cause i felt like he was going to pop out of my tummy lol.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:46 PM
DH and I tried for a year and when I finally got the news I was prego I was so happy. Then it kicked in. I felt like the worse person/mother-to-be ever. I felt like I had no connection with her, I got all these things for her, her crib, and was officially calling her by her name but still was so afraid I wouldnt love her like I love other things. In my case, my hormones were messing with my head because when I got to see her on ultrasound I fell in love, other than those times I felt like I didnt. Now Im 35 weeks and love her so much, Id give anything for her without the ultrasounds. My hormones have kicked my ass but Im so glad this is coming to me now. I am sure it will come to you!
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:48 PM
You're ok. Everyone copes with pregnancy differently. Just wait til he comes out and you see him and hold him for the first time. Then tell us how you feel about him :o)
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM

I am not sure it's normal per-say, bt what really is in pregnancy... some women have the natural instincts right away and some women don't until they meet their babies, have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? he/she might be able to put your mind at ease about these things. I feel a sense of detachment to my little ones while I am pregnant, not much but it's more than 'normal' people, have you had abandonment issues etc? that's why it's hard for me to completely bond with my little ones when I am pregnant, but when they are born it's a whole different story! I hope everything works out for you!!

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:53 PM

 you my dear, are totally normal. some women just dont enjoy being pregnant. (myself included) ..and many don't fall in love til later on either. Sometimes not even directly after birth. sometimes it takes time, sometimes it doesn't. You'll get it :)

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:57 PM

 btw I wanted to add, I felt the same way with my 2nd. start to finish. and I even dealt with Gender Disappointment with him and it made it worse. I talked to my doc about it and she wanted to put me on anti-depressants. I said I'm not depressed, I just don't feel like I care. I didn't feel like he was mine. I was growing him but he wasn't mine. after he came out it all changed for me. but I do wonder if my feelings during pregnancy had an effect on our bond (or lack thereof) after birth. he never wanted me to hold him for a long time. he wasn't happy unless I put him down. it was weird. we are close now though :)

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