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Mother-in-law x2.

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:28 PM
  • 7 Replies
My partner's bio parents have split. So I have two mother-in-laws. Whom don't get along at all. (Affair happened in the family)
I'm due to have my baby shower in April. I want to invite both of them. But dh's bio mum has asked to bring two of her girlfriends. I'm worried if she does that, she'll be sitting there bickering about his step-mum. She already has her mother and two sisters coming.

I get along much nicer with his step-mum then his actual mother.

Do I allow her to bring two girlfriends?
I know for a fact she will try and make her ex-husbands new wife feel extremely uncomfortable. Which I don't want.

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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:28 PM
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Replies (1-7):
ExpectingBean
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:31 PM
:(
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blondie09
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Say no to the friends. You don't want them to gang up on your dh's stepmom.
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.Sugaree.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:33 PM
That's hard bc I wouldn't want to have awkward vibes at my babyshower, but at the same time I can't feel sorry for her if she's the other woman obviously she will b treated like one...

I coul never invite my mom and step mom to the same place, no way!!
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ExpectingBean
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:36 PM
They have been separated for over 6 years.

His mother has been happily remarried for 4 years.

It's just for a couple of hours. For a baby shower. You'd think she would be able to bite her tounge for afew hours surely.
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patsfan013
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:43 PM

If you don't know her friends, I would tell MIL to please understand that you really only want close family and friends at the shower. 

As for the "feud," I would probably talk to both of them and ask them to please respect that this is an important event for YOU and to ask them nicely to put all bad feelings aside for a few hours.  I would probably also make sure your step-MIL has someone close to her at all times (someone she knows) as a buffer, and maybe ask a friend of yours to keep an eye on your MIL to make sure she "behaves."   And if she does do anything to make your step-MIL uncomfortable, to ask that friend to step in and remind your MIL about your request that she respect the fact that this is YOUR time, not hers.   It sucks to have to treat them like children, but sometimes that's the only way to deal with it.  Good luck!

sparklebug86
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:56 PM

I would tell her not to bring her friends unless you know them extremely well. The other thing you can do is let his step mom know that his real mom is bringing friends and that you didnt want her to feel uncomfortable. She will still most likely come but this way she is prepared.

mommyuphold
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 8:52 AM

I would say no to the friends! My MIL and FIL have been divorced for 17 years and still can't get over it!!!! It drives me crazy on a daily basis! My parents have been divorced for 21 years and can actually get along if it is a must and they do not talk bad about each other to me anymore! I would hope they could put their issues a side to celebrate the new baby coming into the family. Good Luck!

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