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I am new so here' s a little about me and an optional full story

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:13 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hello Everyone!

My name is Kelsey and I am 24 years old. I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter named Kaidence Danielle. I lost a son on Feb. 7th this year at 18 weeks 5 days gestation his name is Christopher Jaiden, he was my first son. I am currently pregnant with my 2nd son, Aiden Chase, he is due on New Years. I am having the same complications with Aiden that made me lose Christopher so I am on bed rest til he is born. I am engaged to my boyfriend of almost 4 years, Wayne. I became a mother as a teenager. I still had a natural birth and breast fed for two years, and this is one of my proudest moments as a mother. My daughter started school at 3 and is now in second grade reading on a fourth grade level, so I am very excited about having a new child to help grow and prosper. I am open minded and I have choosen to try a lot of things on my journey. When I am not on bedrest I enjoy doing photography, hair, makeup and modeling as well as voleenteering to help those in need, my daughter also helped the tornado victums in Alabama with me before I got put on bedrest so needless to say I am a very proud mommy! This is a general idea as to who I am! Seeing as my life revolves around photographs feel free to visit my profile and take a look at my albums, I have pictures of all my children including my angels ultrasounds and memorial, I also have my photos up in a different album, comments are always returned!

For those of you who want the whole story of what happened to me in Feb. til now I am posting that story below, however it is very sad and detailed so if you are easily upset I don't recommend reading any futher.......

I tried to conceive 2 years after my daughter was born but with after no
success in the next 2 years I consulted a fertility expert. The specialist
said I was infertile, a hard pill to swallow at 21, but I dealt with it none
the less. That Doctor was wrong, in September 2010 became pregnant, although
I did not find out til December because I did not believe I could get pregnant.
It was an exciting yet unexpected time in our lives, we were in disbelief. A
later ultrasound at the hospital due to some cramping let me know it wasn't a
dream as I saw my baby for the first time in an ultrasound. We were planning for
our first doctors appointment, when the unbelievable happened, I started to gush
blood after a friend we kept from being homeless began to yell at me about how
disgusting pregnant women were. It was a week before my appointment, and I was on
the way to the hospital. On the drive to the hospital I bled through a towel folded
over 8 times, at the hospital I continued to gush blood, we were in hysterics we did
not see how it would be possible to lose so much blood and the baby still be alive.
They rushed us through the ER straight to a room, where they did an ultrasound but by
miracle the baby was alive and well. The hospital that was closest had no maternity doctors
so they were unable to provide us with much information they said it was a threatened
abortion and there was nothing we could do but take it easy til the bleeding seized and
follow up with an OBGYN. I bled badly for the next week none of the doctors could explain
how my baby was still alive. The next Sunday I had another bad spell bleeding through towels
faster then we could get a new one so we went to the hospital my new doctor worked out of,
it was the longest and most anxiety filled car ride of my life. They checked my cervix the
ER doctor told me that my cervix was dilating and my baby was going to die. I fell to pieces,
they ordered for an ultrasound there was my sweet baby alive as can be, kicking around,
a healthy heart rate, no signs of distress at all. I got back to the room where the doctor
was already waiting to correct her mistake, my baby was fine, they didn't know how or why
with the amount of blood I was losing but my baby was alive. I was told I had a SCH and a
threatened abortion and I would have to wait and see, but for now my baby was fine. I followed
up with my new doctor the next day, he looked at the ultrasound said that the odds of losing
my baby so far in the pregnancy were unlikely but we would have to wait and see, my placenta
had detached some, however babies have lived with only a half of a placenta before, I also found
out on top of everything else I had placenta previa, the news was all so crushing. For the next
two weeks I was in an out of the hospital always told the same information, I was so disgusted
with the waiting game. It feels so helpless when we can replace the valve in someones heart but
we can't save our children. Then the worst day of my life happened on February 7th, I woke up at
four in the morning covered in blood, the clots were no longer the size of a deck of cards like
they had been but the size of CD's. We had to wake up my daughter who at this point already knew
of the pregnancy, after all I was out of the first trimester I was 18 weeks and 5 days, I was
supposed to be safe. We carted my daughter to my mothers house and went straight to the hospital
the pain was unbearable I felt I was in labor, but the doctors wouldn't listen they took me in for
an ultrasound, I begged the tech to tell me what I was having, he took pity on my story and did it
was my first boy. The doctors just told me it was the same, to follow up with my doctor, luckily
by the time they released me my OBGYN was already opened, his building was right next door to the
hospital so Wayne rushed me over there. We went upstairs they saw us immediately they said it was
the same there was nothing they could do I told them I was in horrible pain and it had to be labor,
they said it was the blood in my uterus causing the pain and sent me home back to bed-rest, but I
didn't make it home, we made it down the hall and onto the elevator, the door closed and I
shouted out for Wayne. I was soaked in blood in less then a second from my crotch to my ankles,
I knew it wasn't right, he started pressing all the buttons on the elevator I told him to calm
down and hit 3. The door reopened and I walked into the nearest office int the building for heart
care and asked for a wheelchair, Wayne ran down the hall to get the doctor. They rushed me in the
wheelchair back into the hospital where I was given another ultrasound, I had a placental abruption
and my water had broke, they could not save my precious baby boy. The ER doctor came into the room
and told me they were going to D&C me, however five minutes earlier I had seen my baby he was alive
and kicking he had a normal heart rate and showed no signs of distress. I said NO, I was aware that
my baby would die with no amniotic fluid but I would not kill him, I wanted to give birth. She got
snide with me but my doctor had me brought up to maternity where I spent the rest of the day in labor,
the ER nurses would snatch the pads full of blood and clots away quicker then I could see if my baby
was there but not in maternity. They let me see everything, because I wanted to see my baby boy. My nurse
was incredible, by night fall I was unaware that I had lost all my color and become swollen with the
saline they used to try to make up for the loss of blood volume I had. My fiance' says he could look
at me and tell I was dying but I was so doped up on the pain medicine I had no idea. My doctor came
in and told me that by now the baby was likely dead and I had an hour to decide if I wanted the surgery
before I bled to death. I told him I wanted to see my baby so much but not to let me kill myself, so
he sent for the paperwork they did one last ultrasound to show me Christopher Jaiden had passed away and
they put me under, the last thing I remember as they were putting me to sleep was my doctor rubbing my
hair telling me I was going to be okay that he wouldn't leave my side. I woke up convulsing, because
I was so cold my body couldn't just shiver, I felt something come out between my legs I freaked out
and yanked the blankets of myself, I looked down There was something flesh colored about the size
of the palm of my hand, with two dark black spots (eyes), it was filled with little veins, then I saw
the hand, and the curve of the back, I flipped out it was my baby I thought they had already got my
baby, they missed my baby! I screamed in shock, I didn't know what to think it took a minute to process
y then the OR nurse had already whisked it away, she tried to say it was a piece of my placenta, but
I have had a child before and a placenta looks nothing like a fleshy mass, and it certainly doesn't
have hands or eyes. I am sure she was trying to save my sanity, but at the end of the day I know I got
to see my baby, and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise. I got back to the room,and told
Wayne and a friend that was there. I was able to hold it together pretty well even though everything
that happened has had a deep impact on who I am today. The next day, I was left with only 6 units of
blood, the average female has 12-15 the average pregnant female has 24-30, I crashed around noon
and had to have 4 blood transfusions, which are painful when your veins have shrunk from the lack of
blood, turns out saline only fools your system for so long. I still think of Christopher and we had
a memorial for him a month later under a weeping willow one of the hardest and fulfilling days of my
life. I didn't want my fiance' to touch me, I could stand the thought of going through that all over
again, however late in March I felt bad that he hadn't received any affection from me so we made love,
and three weeks later I found out I have conceived again. This pregnancy was going well until late
in week 14 when I started bleeding again, I once again have a SCH. I have been bleeding for 6 weeks now,
I 20 weeks. It is a boy again, but this time is different it isn't like the last pregnancy.
I am on bed-rest, and I have hope, I don't know if I should but I do, I believe that there is
a God and he wouldn't put me through all that again. This baby is huge, and my placenta is only slightly
detached, that has to be a good sign. February 7th was a very sad ending for me, but I hope when it
is all said and done, Jan.1st 2012 I will be providing you with happy one.

Aiden looked great at the last ultrasound he was measuring well his heart was perfect, all his organs and spine have formed. My Hemorrhage had not shrunk and continues to bleed and clot, the doctor told me it measured at four which is covering about an inch and one quarter of my placenta. He said right now baby looked good but that he would at no point in this pregnancy be able to tell me my baby won't die unless he is out of my womb and breathing. As if it doesn't suck enough to hear your baby might not live in utero it is even worse to hear that because of where the hemorrhage is he could die during birth because my placenta could suffer an abruption which could cause Aiden to bleed to death before they could get to him and I could bleed to death too, I am too familiar with the placental abruptions. He may have to be taken from my womb early because as he grows my placenta may be unable to support him or his growth since it is partially detached so he may quit growing in which case they will have to induce premature labor in hopes baby can survive outside the womb. I hate that my doctor refers to it as a waiting game, because believe me if this is a game it is a sick one. In 5 weeks they will start giving me drugs to mature Aiden's lungs so he has the best odds outside the womb. My doctor said he prefers I continue to bleed at this point because it will keep pressure from building up and causing a clot to further detach my placenta. He said all the pain I have been having is most likely contractions which is caused by the bleeding, he said those would probably continue until I give birth. Regardless of all the bad things he said there is still a chance Aiden could be full term, and with that chance lays all my hope. I can't believe in the bad because with the millions of things that can go wrong I just feel in my heart this time everything will be alright. I already suffered a devastating loss in Feb. and I refuse to let it happen again, so please pray for Aiden Chase and a healthy pregnancy through birth. I am not willing to give up!
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:15 PM

Congrats on your pregnancy! I wish you the best. 8)

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:17 PM

welcome to cafemom

by Mandy on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:21 PM

Congrats and I'm very sorry about your loss!

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:22 PM


by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:26 PM

Thank you

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:32 PM

You have been through alot! Honey have faith, I will be praying for you and Aiden. :) and congrats

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:39 PM

 You are one tough cookie! I am sorry for your loss, and I will pray for the health of you, and your little boy. Congratulations!

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:57 PM

Congrats & welcome! So sorry to hear about your 1st boy :(

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:15 PM

Quoting Jaredsgirl12:

You have been through alot! Honey have faith, I will be praying for you and Aiden. :) and congrats

I believe prayer is the best cure to any bad situation thank you

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Quoting hotmama0824:

 You are one tough cookie! I am sorry for your loss, and I will pray for the health of you, and your little boy. Congratulations!

Thank you I pray with Aiden all the time

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