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im not sure what to do, :/

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:27 PM
  • 12 Replies

I have a friend who is 17 and has a 6 mo old daughter. Well when she was first born (literally the day after, in the hospital) she was kind of rough with the baby, and she threw the pacifier at her (not intentionally) and it hit her and she did not even get up to check if she was ok. As time went on, I noticed she treats the baby like a doll, she'll pull her towards her by her legs or arms, she tosses her in the air and other things, Recently I went over to visit and now the baby can crawl and stand with help. I was playing with her and she started to use my hair to help herself stand, it did not hurt so I started laughing and tickling her, her mother ( my friend) pulls her down by her waist, pulls her hair and says "you dont like it do you!" I wanted to snatch the baby and run. She lets her crawl around on the floor and if she runs into something or flops over on her face or head her mom does nothing. And then on top of that the baby sleeps in her play pin with pillows all around her, and a thick blanket on top. Cant she die from SIDS??? :( and sometimes they let her sleep on her tummy, isnt that bad too?


my point is, should i talk to her? i dont want to offend her or anything because im not even a mother yet im only 6 months pregnant. so im not sure of things but what should i do :(

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
married-in-06
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:30 PM
Bump hun
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
amandamarie1108
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:32 PM

what does that mean? sorry havent caught up with cafemom talk lol 

rennez
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:34 PM
So wait, you feel this child's safety is potentially at risk and want to know if you should address it? I don't mean to sound rude but why are you even questioning this. Of course you should.
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Larsbug
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:37 PM

sounds a little rough to me... you could talk to her but that might make things worse too... she shouldn't be in a playpen with pillows and if she can roll on her own then sleeping on her tummy is ok but still not great... pulling the babies hair isn't right nor is pulling her down. Does she live with her parents? Try talking to them about these things and just let them know that you are concerned... maybe she doesn't do that when they are home.

sassysuie
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 She could be suffering from postpartum depression and taking it out on her baby? Maybe she feels that the baby took away her childhood and made her grow up fast? I had my first baby at a young age too. Just try talking to her, if she doesn't seem bothered by harming her baby then maybe refer her to a cousiler...But she doesn't need to be taking out her frustration of having to grow up on her baby....

amandamarie1108
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:40 PM

its not that I feel like she is at risk, i just dont agree with they way she treats her, i have addressed other friends and they say that she is not rough. I know my friend would never hurt her intentionally, she just isnt sure how careful to be with the baby i guess

Quoting rennez:

So wait, you feel this child's safety is potentially at risk and want to know if you should address it? I don't mean to sound rude but why are you even questioning this. Of course you should.


amandamarie1108
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:41 PM

she lives with her boyfriend and his family, no one ever says anything to her. but the hair pulling incident happened when it was only me her and the baby

Quoting Larsbug:

sounds a little rough to me... you could talk to her but that might make things worse too... she shouldn't be in a playpen with pillows and if she can roll on her own then sleeping on her tummy is ok but still not great... pulling the babies hair isn't right nor is pulling her down. Does she live with her parents? Try talking to them about these things and just let them know that you are concerned... maybe she doesn't do that when they are home.


StephFerrero
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:46 PM

 Since this girl is 17, I'm assuming she is living at home with her parents...am I right? If so, tell her parents that you are sincerely worried about the health and welfare of their grandchild. But before you talk to them, talk to your friend. Tell her your concerns. If she and her parents fail to do anything, go to your parents. See if they can get involved and try to help. Maybe if she sees that multiple people are worried about her and her baby, she'll realize that she's doing something wrong and potentially harmful to her baby.

Best of luck to you!

babygomez
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:11 PM

The physical part about this bothers me as well :'(

Maybe to her, she thinks that you will think it's funny when she does it. Next time something like that happens, i'd say something sly like "ouch mommy, that hurts me", as if the baby is saying it. Hopefully with that, she'll realize that you don't think it's funny. If she becomes offensive, i'd let her know that it is not the first time you've witnessed her being rough, just talk calmly about it, and talk from your heart.

amandamarie1108
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:29 PM

she lives with her boyfriend and his family, no one ever says anything to her. I am going to talk to her. thank you 

Quoting StephFerrero:

 Since this girl is 17, I'm assuming she is living at home with her parents...am I right? If so, tell her parents that you are sincerely worried about the health and welfare of their grandchild. But before you talk to them, talk to your friend. Tell her your concerns. If she and her parents fail to do anything, go to your parents. See if they can get involved and try to help. Maybe if she sees that multiple people are worried about her and her baby, she'll realize that she's doing something wrong and potentially harmful to her baby.

Best of luck to you!


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