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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Confused..

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:02 AM
  • 4 Replies
Okay, so I'm 16 weeks pregnant and living with my boyfriend.  I wasn't living with him when we found out, but since my parents did not really feel I should live at home, I moved in with him right away.  So we're adjusting to living together and building on a relationship that was still pretty new compared to those who have been together for years.  We have been together only a year and that's including the months I've been pregnant.  Okay so last night we were bickering over text and he comes home at like 10:30 and says "Bye, I'm staying at Jay's".  He was going fishing with his friend and decided to spend the night there because he was gonna be drinking and it was closer to work.  Now, I reacted badly.  Probably worse than I should of, but I was already on edge.  What would ya'll do though?  Do you think it's appropriate for your boyfriend to spend the night at his friends whenever he chooses and without discussing it over with you first??  I feel so many different ways, I don't know what to do.
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:02 AM
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Piscean
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:06 AM
Ok this is a tough one, because it sorta depends on the level of committment you two have going on...but I will say this. When my DH and I moved in together (when he was still my BF LOL), we immediately started being "married" even though it wasn't legal yet. I would not expect or accept him doing such a thing. But your BF is still new to this too and that's something you need to give him a bit of slack for. When he gets home, sit down with him and discuss it. Tell him that you are more than just a roommate, that you are his baby's mother and that you need him to respect you enough to discuss this stuff with you. Thing is, if you don't set standards now, this will continue into your relationship as it progresses. No one, especially men, can instantly understand what is expected of them in a relationship. When you're talking about what YOU expect with him, also ask him what he expects from you. You might be surprised. Good luck with everything and try to give him a break while you teach him what you need from him. Hugs!
gacgbaker
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:12 AM
Well, this is a hard one... I can only speak from the point of view of being married, but no it wouldn't be ok if my husband did that.  I would sit down and try to talk with him calmly, express why you felt upset, and then maybe offer a compromise like "I don't mind if you stay over night, but could you please give me a few days warning or ask first?". 
MalachisMommy06
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:18 AM
LIKE EVERYONE SAID YEA THIS IS KINDA A HARD ONE ... I PROLLY WOULD HAVE REACTED BADLY TO ... FOR ONE BECAUSE OK YEAH YA'LL ARENT MARRIED BUT YA'LL ARE LIVING TOGETHER ... SO IF HE CAN PLAY THE MARRIED ROLE LIVING WITH YOU AND GETTING THE BENEFITS OF BEING MARRIED HE NEEDS TO MAKE DECISIONS AND EVERYTHING AS A "MARRIED COUPLE" ... ITS ONLY RIGHT!!
casiann1
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 11:59 AM
You know this here's from my point of view. I had gone through alot of tough relationships when I met my bf, I was down and struggling on my own cause I wanted away from my strict parents. I had a new apartment that my cousin came to see and he brought his friend with, one thing led to another and over the next couple of months we were seeing ALOT of eachother. He also had a couple of serious relationships that ended badly and was in drunken party mode. I guess we were comforting eachother and after a couple months of this I was preggo. She was not a mistake, she was a suprise. We were both so excited and I ended up moving in with him a 3 weeks later. That was January of last year and you would never know we're not married. We love and respect eachother to death. I had to set the picture so you would understand that we haven't known eachother long either and a majority of it I was pregnant. Staying the night somewhere in itsself is something he would not do by choice and because I would not let him. In being a couple and living together we made the choice to be a family and(as we've all heard before) families that play together stay together. We don't have separate date nights, if he OCCASIONALLY wants to go out with the guys for a drink he can and if I choose to go out with my friends I can, both of us with prior notice. Although we have that option neither of us really do. He gets out enough with his job and I stay home so I can hang out with people whenver I want. It works and we are happy to respect eachothers feelings about this. Good luck with however you would like this relationship to be, everyone is different. We know a married couple that dates(yes with the opposite sex, they don't call it dating but when you go to the movies with a coworker of the opposite sex it's a date), it makes me uncomfortable to talk about it with them cause we don't do that so I don't. Anyway, good luck and if you need to talk I'm here and I've tamed my kegger loving college boy.
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