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if baby wasnt planned

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:21 AM
  • 17 Replies
I am around 5 weeks with my 4th baby. Out of the 4 only one was planned, my middle dd. This one will be dh 2nd. This one was a big surprise, I am nursing my 14 month old and have not had af since having her. I knew it could happen I just wasn't expecting it to. I am over the moon excited but dh is not. He is upset, which I was with upset with my youngest now but I was okay with it and after I few days I was happy about it. So I get it, but anyways here is the problem. He won't touch me, he acts like I have cooties or something and has almost been hateful with me. He says it okay cause he will be happy with it soon. But it hurts my feelings that he is acting like this about it. Has anyone's so/dh acted this way, if so how long did it take for it to go away, if it did.
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sexysweet0912
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:30 AM
My first was a surprise actualy a miracle I was told I couldnt have kids so of course I was 19 n thought I was invincable lol anyway a month after me n my now husband moved intogether we found out I was preggers! Niether one of us wanted kids I quickly accepted it he didnt till I started to show n arguements were horrable n sex was completely out of the question for him :( but now almost 3 years later we are married n expecting our 2nd baby and this one was planned....so I think its the shock for mwn n its a womans nature to go with the flow with babies....keep ur head up it may just take him a while to wrap his head around it
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Endo.girl
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:53 AM
My bf is like that too. He wouldn't even stay over tonight like he usually would
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mama91605
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:06 AM
Thank you ladies. I just hope it goes away soon. It is hard to deal with.
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kt2babies
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:11 AM
At first he was upset but I don't think it set in till I started to show then he turned into a new person had a midlife crisis. He turned back around and came to his senses right around Nov. I'm now 35wks with #4
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mama91605
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Bump
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silka08
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM

Hes probably really caught off guard. Since this wasn't first unplanned is it possible he has unfounded resentment about maybe you trying to get preg? Sometimes when we're upset we think irrationally and blame others. Just give him time, I'm sure he'll come around in time. HUGS mama!

mama91605
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:32 PM
He knows it wasn't on purpose. I am just tied of being treated like it was all just my fault. I hope he changes his additude about it soon cause it is really upsetting me. I know he will be good with the baby when it gets here, he is great with the other kids. I guess he just needs don't time.


Quoting silka08:

Hes probably really caught off guard. Since this wasn't first unplanned is it possible he has unfounded resentment about maybe you trying to get preg? Sometimes when we're upset we think irrationally and blame others. Just give him time, I'm sure he'll come around in time. HUGS mama!


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immateenin2011
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:37 PM
My first was planned. The upcoming was a total suprise. (I guess this is what happens when u go crazy on christmas and have sex)

Don't worry about DH. He will get over it sometime and will enjoy the new baby.
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gavs4boys
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:37 PM

He is still shocked I'm sure. Give him some time I'm sure he will come around. Good Luck and congrats!  This baby I'm pregnant with was not planned at all.  But we are happy.

silka08
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:45 PM

Im not saying he actually thinks its your fault...its just when something unexpected with such a heavy emotion attached to it happens he may be thinking slightly irrational, you know?

Just explain to him how he's making you feel. At the very least maybe he'll try to be nicer to you while he deals with his own personal issues. Good luck hun!

Quoting mama91605:

He knows it wasn't on purpose. I am just tied of being treated like it was all just my fault. I hope he changes his additude about it soon cause it is really upsetting me. I know he will be good with the baby when it gets here, he is great with the other kids. I guess he just needs don't time.


Quoting silka08:

Hes probably really caught off guard. Since this wasn't first unplanned is it possible he has unfounded resentment about maybe you trying to get preg? Sometimes when we're upset we think irrationally and blame others. Just give him time, I'm sure he'll come around in time. HUGS mama!



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