I am currently 24 wks and only just starting to think about maternity pictures, and baby showers..not even close to thinking about who I'm going to have in the delivery room when it's time to push!
*a little background* My MIL had a severe nervous breakdown early last year and is just starting to be back to *somewhat* normal....Her confidence in herself is shot, and I feel as if she uses her illness to get what she wants... she does it to her husband, she does it to her family.. she does it to everyone.
Now I got a call from my FIL today, saying that she went to her pshycologist appointment yesterday and the whole time she talked about her wanting to be in the delivery room, and how she wouldn't feel as important if she was not allowed to be in the room while I had the baby, She was crying and so upset and worried that she would not be able to witness the birth of her first "blood" grandson. (I had a two year old when we met) My SO and I both agree that we want to be the only ones in the room at the time of delivery.. My mom has no problem with this as well as my other family members. But we've been catching so much guilt and crap from his parents about giving his mom what she wants....
The last thing i want on baby's first day is for someone to feel not as important as they should, or for someone to not be completely happy about the new baby. But i just can't bring myself to give into something i am not comfortable with.. any advise would be appreciated.. and i'd love to hear from you if you've been through this sort of thing too.. it really weighs on my chest, and i still have 3 months to go!
-Just wants to keep everyone happy!
My mom felt left out when she thought my mil was in the room during delivery of my dd (her first grandchild, but not my mil's first). We had to tell her multiple times they (dh's fam) were in the waiting room during delivery, but in with me during labor and shortly after delivery. She felt much better and is excited to be able to come when this one is born. She couldn't come down due to a death in the family.
My mom never planned on being in the delivery room, she was with my first child but that was because I needed her emotionally then, now i have my SO for support and i feel as if that is going to be enough for me... I just hate feeling so pressured into letting her be in there. It's not fair to me or my SO.
I would let your husband handle his parents and explain to them how it is a special time for you both and not them. I am sorry this is happening. I would really just stick to how you are feeling because you may regret it otherwise. I know I felt a little forced into similar situations before, and I look back now and regret that I let me worry about other peoples feeling a little too much when I should have been looking out for my own. Good luck with it all.
honestly, if you arent even going to have YOUR mom in the room, she should understand that it isnt anything against her.... dont take her "feel sorry for me" attitude and feel bad about your decision... tell her straight up now that NO ONE is going to be in the room and she can visit shortly after the baby is born, but you'd first like that intimate time just between you, hubby and baby before you introduce anyone else into his/her world....
she may throw a fit about it,but dont let her issues become your issues...
Good luck
Okay. Having someone in the room that you are not 100% comfortable with is very dangerous. It will cause stress that will slow labor. She will just have to deal, if you are not comfortable. This is very important for your health and that of your baby. Here is an interesting article about child birth.
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/SaferBirthInABarn.asp
Quoting akrogers13:honestly, if you arent even going to have YOUR mom in the room, she should understand that it isnt anything against her.... dont take her "feel sorry for me" attitude and feel bad about your decision... tell her straight up now that NO ONE is going to be in the room and she can visit shortly after the baby is born, but you'd first like that intimate time just between you, hubby and baby before you introduce anyone else into his/her world....
she may throw a fit about it,but dont let her issues become your issues...
Check out these Piping Hot Posts from The Stir:
-
'Sister Wives' Recap: Robyn Tells Kody He 'Better Not' Do This (VIDEO)
- 10 Insulting Things Kids Innocently Say
- 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Recap: Kim Kardashian Wigs Out About Divorce
- Prince William Shouldn't Worry About Cheating on Kate
- Justin Bieber Brawls with Photographer As Selena Gomez Watches
Trying to find a replacement for my old caffeine habit?
- MissWinks
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 2:41 PM