Update****
I just kicked him out.... Now I am pregnant alone and terrified but I kno I did the right thing for me and my ds and my unborn baby....
Ok I know I am probably going to get bashed for this but I don't care... Have you ever broke up with your unborn babies father? If so how did you do it? I love my SO but Im not in love with him anymore and I don't want to be with him... If I had known that he was this type of person I would have never let myself get pregnant by him... He has a job (at taco bell) and he is fixing to go back to school. But the thing is he won't get a better paying job until he finishes school and he is always saying we can do this and that in a yr and a half or two yrs.. He wants to spend what little money we have on cigarettes, weed and stuff we don't need.. I am 14 wks preg and I don't have a job and Im starting school on monday but he wants me to get a full time job so we can get our own place (bc he is tired of listening to me not bc he wants it he actually wants to live with my mom for the next two yrs... My mom has a small two bdrm in which her my dad my bro me and my so live...) We just don't get along anymore. He is always yelling at me for something or another and its not something I have done wrong.... Its always me telling him something he doesn't want to hear that makes him do that.. Like last night for example, He knew my back was hurting and we went to get dinner well while sitting in the drive thru he said he wants to get bucket seats in his truck(the only vehicle we have) so I told him he had to wait until I got a car, He wanted to know why so I said if u get bucket seats where is my son gonna sit or your daughters???? He got PISSED so on the way back home he didn't say anything at all to me and he drove down the 2 roughest streets possible instead of taking the way we came that there were no bumps or holes on....... I just can't do this anymore and need advice on how to end it. Its even harder for me cuz one I am pregnant with his child and two I have never broken up with anyone.... So ladies please give me something... And if u wanna bash go somewhere else I feel bad enough....
I have no clue, but you're right. You need to get out of that, it's going to suck you down. :(
Big hugs to yuo, mama. I hope someone who has been in a similar situation is able to help you.
Quoting Pandapanda:I have no clue, but you're right. You need to get out of that, it's going to suck you down. :(
Big hugs to yuo, mama. I hope someone who has been in a similar situation is able to help you.
Quoting Pandapanda:I have no clue, but you're right. You need to get out of that, it's going to suck you down. :(
Big hugs to yuo, mama. I hope someone who has been in a similar situation is able to help you.
Okay. If he is living with you at your mom's- pack his stuff. Once he gets home, tell him he has to go stay with his Momma, because he is no longer welcome there. Let him know that you need a man to be beside you to raise your child, not a little boy. He may grow up. He may not. Either way, you have gotten rid of a drain your energy and resources. I am not bashing. I don't know your age or all the particulars of your situation. (You do not have to answer this... I am asking the question just for your consideration.) But, if you are going back to school and *IF* you don't feel ready to be a mom, have you considered adoption? I can almost guarantee you, he will be no help financially if he's around and will not pay cs or will pay incredibly little. It will be a very tough road for you and especially your LO. Please, don't think I am bashing. Again, I just wanted to throw that out there as somethings to consider.
I am very ready for this baby... Another baby is all I have wanted for the past 4 yrs.. Its just not with the man I want it to be.... I want my sons father to be the father of this baby..... and he has been giving me hints that its what he wants also but im not goin to hold my breath on that.... and my so has 2 other kids and a few days ago was the 1st time he has seen them in atleast a yr.... and now all of the sudden he wants to be in their lives again... From what the mom of the girls told me is that he has never really been there for them but IDK if thats true or not bcuz she isn't there... She has a man that isn't their father raising them.... I just feel like the worst person in the world right now....
Quoting louzannalady:Okay. If he is living with you at your mom's- pack his stuff. Once he gets home, tell him he has to go stay with his Momma, because he is no longer welcome there. Let him know that you need a man to be beside you to raise your child, not a little boy. He may grow up. He may not. Either way, you have gotten rid of a drain your energy and resources. I am not bashing. I don't know your age or all the particulars of your situation. (You do not have to answer this... I am asking the question just for your consideration.) But, if you are going back to school and *IF* you don't feel ready to be a mom, have you considered adoption? I can almost guarantee you, he will be no help financially if he's around and will not pay cs or will pay incredibly little. It will be a very tough road for you and especially your LO. Please, don't think I am bashing. Again, I just wanted to throw that out there as somethings to consider.
First off no one should bash you at all. You are doing the right thing here. If you are not happy and things are as bad as they sound in your post then leaving is the best thing for you and your baby. I would be honest with him and tell him how you feel and why. He may not let you really get the why out as my guess is he will not want to hear it. Just be strong for you and your baby. I do not have any children with my ex but I did have to end a toxic relationship. Your story sounds very similar to how my relationship was at that time. I did leave him or rather made him leave as he was living in my house. It was hard and he made sure that he made it as hard on me as he could for as long as he could. I ended up having to get a protective order to protect myself. It was very difficult for me to go through but I am so glad I did because now I have a great man who is there for me through everything. I am almost 15 weeks along with our first child and could not ask for anything more. So, keep strong and have faith.
I understand. I was trying to tread lightly. I don't know your whole circumstance. I will tell you what I know! My husband of nearly four years was really messing up our finances. He always worked very hard, but needed to quit for a few months while he finished up the last portion of his schooling. We got pregnant during that time. He has six months left until he was finished. I was working 50-60 hours a week and was as sick as a dog. He was refusing to get a job. I moved out. Packed my stuff while he was at school and had a moving guy come and put it in a UHAUL for me and I was GONE! It took the rest of my pregnancy (from August 2010-January 2011) for him to get his crap together enough for me to trust him. He was there for our son's birth and has worked for nearly a year at this job. It is a great job (company car and phone) and they are grooming him to become a franchise owner someday! He works so hard, I am now able to be a SAHM and I am pregnant, again. It just took a little distance and tough love to get through his ADHD and thick skull! With some guys, that is all it takes. With some guys, they never get it- and then you are out nothing, because at least they are not staying in your life and leeching off of you! *hug* I know you will be fine!
Quoting mommylovesyou12:I am very ready for this baby... Another baby is all I have wanted for the past 4 yrs.. Its just not with the man I want it to be.... I want my sons father to be the father of this baby..... and he has been giving me hints that its what he wants also but im not goin to hold my breath on that.... and my so has 2 other kids and a few days ago was the 1st time he has seen them in atleast a yr.... and now all of the sudden he wants to be in their lives again... From what the mom of the girls told me is that he has never really been there for them but IDK if thats true or not bcuz she isn't there... She has a man that isn't their father raising them.... I just feel like the worst person in the world right now....
Quoting louzannalady:Okay. If he is living with you at your mom's- pack his stuff. Once he gets home, tell him he has to go stay with his Momma, because he is no longer welcome there. Let him know that you need a man to be beside you to raise your child, not a little boy. He may grow up. He may not. Either way, you have gotten rid of a drain your energy and resources. I am not bashing. I don't know your age or all the particulars of your situation. (You do not have to answer this... I am asking the question just for your consideration.) But, if you are going back to school and *IF* you don't feel ready to be a mom, have you considered adoption? I can almost guarantee you, he will be no help financially if he's around and will not pay cs or will pay incredibly little. It will be a very tough road for you and especially your LO. Please, don't think I am bashing. Again, I just wanted to throw that out there as somethings to consider.
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- mommylovesyou12
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 12:03 PM