My baby daddy and i aren't together, and after him being absent for all 9 months, never [and still hasn't] spent one penny on her, or prepping for her. I paid for my crib, stroller, baby things, etc with no help. He never once even asked how our daughter was doing, and instead spent his time at the bar and wherever else. Regardless, I've decided that I want him at the birth because although I don't think he deserves it, I feel that my daughter deserves to have her dad there. However, Now he's demanding that she take his last name, which ultimately I do NOT want this to happen, I want her to have my last name. Also, he's demanding that a few of his friends come to see my baby after I have her while we're still in the hospital, but I don't want the to come because they're so disrespectful and fake to me.
What I'm asking is, Do I have say as to what my daughter's last name is, regardless of the dad's feelings?
Also, If the dad wants to have specific visitors that I don't approve of, can I tell them I don't want them to see my daughter?
Seriously? This guy has already proven to be a loser. Why would you want him there for the birth of your daughter? He has shown that he does NOT care. Honey, he's just not that into this whole thing. You and your daughter. DO NOT give her his last name. Use yours Do be Adult and allow him to visit you and the baby AFTER she is born. Tell him he can bring anyone who is related to the baby by blood with him (his Mother, Father siblings) but no friends. See if a Social worker can have the statement of paternity forms there for you so he can sign them then and there. Be prepared for him refusing to do so.
You are having a baby do not expect this loser to step up and be a Dad. You can't make him do that, and is that wahat you want? No Dad is better than a shitty Dad.
One of the big issues with using his last name (which is different than your own) comes if you ever want to leave the country. You need a note signed by the Father in order to do so if the names don't match and he isn't with you. I was married and never changed my maiden name. 4 years ago we went to St Martain, and I needed a note from my ex to take the kids with me. Easy enough to do because he lives right down the street, it would be more difficult if he wasn't in the picture though, so why risk it?
So sick and nausea right now....my cousin and best friend are in Moore Oklahoma and no one can get a hold of them...
- kenzie.sloan
on Feb. 28, 2012 at 5:41 AM