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Pregnancy Pregnancy

help, thinking of getting a abortion today

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A week ago I found out I was pregnant by my ex bf. I told him I was pregnant and he said the best choice is to get a abortion. Me and him just broke up a week ago. And he told me 2 days ago that he's back with his ex and that he is happy. He said he doesn't want to have a child by a girl hes not with. Even though we wanted this baby at one point. Now he doesn't want it. I'm already a single mother with a 3 yr old son. And I cannot picture myself goin through the pregnancy and giving birth alone. And I am in no shape to keep the baby alone. I have no job, no car, don't have a stable home. I was expecting him to stay with me and not leave me but he's now trying to have a family with the girl he's with right now. I feel so alone and hopeless. I know abortion is wrong but I feel like in my situation that's the best thing to do
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 6:55 AM
Replies (11-20):
Tiffersmu
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:10 AM
I'm sure. I know plenty of women who feel that way. I really thing you should look through all of your options before making a decision. Maybe talk to an adoption clinic or support group. Obviously you'll want to make your decision fast. There's so many moms on cafemom including myself who have had difficulty conceiving so I'm definitely rooting for checking all of your resources first and making a decision based on YOURSELF only and not this ex who has seemed to throw you under the bus.


Quoting Joashmom:

I've thought about adoption. And it breaks my heart to think I'm going to be carrying the baby for 9 months, give birth and than just give the baby away




Quoting Tiffersmu:

What about adoption???? As hard as that sounds its truly a selfless act of love. Don't make any quick decisions bc of his actions. It's your body.


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kblpooh
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:11 AM
3 moms liked this
It sounds like you have a big decision to make. Keep in mind that you are dealing with a lot of emotions from the break up and the news of being pregnant. Maybe before you make the decision you should talk to a counselor to discuss all your options and how each one would/could affect you. Don't make a rushed decision and then regret it. Good luck.
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Tiffersmu
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:13 AM
Same here with a close fam member! Her ex harrassed her by sending her abortion clinic ph #s! She listened to her gut and kept the baby. It's not always easy but she has lots of support and wouldn't change her mind.


Quoting ariesmommy84:

Do what you feel is right! Don't let anyone tell you what to do !!

My friend was in the same boat. She kept her baby and doesn't regret it. But she has lots of support from her family!




Quoting Joashmom:

That's what I'm afraid of is the regret I might have afterwards. I heard about mothers getting a abortion and feeling guilty and deeply depressed afterwards. And they regret there decision and I don't want to be like that






Quoting ariesmommy84:

There's always adoption. But its your choice. You decide. Make sure you won't regret it!


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bmom7210
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:13 AM


Quoting ariesmommy84:

There's always adoption. But its your choice. You decide. Make sure you won't regret it!
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LiveByTheSun
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:14 AM
4 moms liked this
I can never understand how moms who already have a baby could abort the next one. After you've personally witnessed that they are precious little miracles. Maybe this caught me at a bad time because I'm laying here watching my 3 week old baby sleep and thinking there isn't a single thing I woudnt do for her. Even if it meant being a single mom, etc. Ultimately, your situation probably seems dim and hopeless. But the love and joy your baby will bring you will outweigh all of that.. Even on the hardest days.
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Ialicea
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Had a similar situation, was with this guy who said and acted like this relationship was all he wanted. Than he became distant and I found out I was pregnant. Talk about a complete 180° when I told him. I was horrible, no way we were mixing families (his family was well off while mine wasn't) anyway he pressured me into an abortion, I did it & sorry for saying this I don't regret it. I was in no position to I was young and knew I couldn't do it alone. Now I have my first child (he's two weeks) & an awesome man who helps me with everything. I couldn't imagine going through this alone.. Just make sure your confident with your decision
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Dimples04
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this
This child deserves a chance. Give adoption some thought.

Quoting Tiffersmu:

What about adoption???? As hard as that sounds its truly a selfless act of love. Don't make any quick decisions bc of his actions. It's your body.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lilmomma625
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:22 AM
3 moms liked this
I made the very influenced decision years ago. It's been 15 years and I still think about what I did. I remember my due date and become very depressed during that month. I won't even be thinking about it and then realize why....oh yea, it's September. I still have dreams about him. Yes, I feel like it was a boy.
I just wanted to say that it's a decision you will live with for the rest of your life. I have 3 children and one due sept (just found out yesterday it's a boy) and 1 in my heart that is in heaven.


Quoting Joashmom:

That's what I'm afraid of is the regret I might have afterwards. I heard about mothers getting a abortion and feeling guilty and deeply depressed afterwards. And they regret there decision and I don't want to be like that




Quoting ariesmommy84:

There's always adoption. But its your choice. You decide. Make sure you won't regret it!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
junebutterfly
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:26 AM
I went through 2 pregnancys alone it's hard and scary but I could never abort I'm now with an amazing man who loves me and my kids we are getting married in September and are trying for a third baby. Keep your head up you never know what life has in store for you. Just don't do something you will regret. You can get a job now and you can get on pregnant women's Medicaid so you can see a doctor. Look in to your options don't give up on that life growing inside you. Best of luck to you and God bless.
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chubbybabys
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 7:35 AM
2 moms liked this

I doubt anyone on here is going to change your mind.  My guess is you will probably abort.  But I do want to add my opinion to this.  I think that in the moment, obortion is the quick and easy way out, however it is also the most selfish.  This baby didn't have a choice, it was conceived because of your actions.  Not faulting you for that.  However, this baby is a little miracle, already gowing and doing amazing things inside of you.  I hope you give this child a chance to become who he/she is meant to be, and I seriously dought it was intended to be thrown away.  I agree with some of the ladies above.  Adoption would be the most selfless thing you could do for your baby.  Yes it would require going thru 9 months of pregnancy and i'm sure it would be hart at that point to give up,  you may even change your mind.  A lot can happen in 9 months.  Believe me, I know.  I became a single mom over night when my husband came home and decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore.  I was devistated.  That was four years ago.  I am now remarried with my third child and another on the way.  I would have never guessed my life would have turned out this way.  Sometimes I don't even recognise my life, it has changed to much.  Way better than I ever thought it would be.  My point is, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  I know my opinion doesn't mean much, but I hope you will think about it.  This baby depend on you, it doesn't have a choice.  Good luck

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