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Pregnancy Pregnancy

help, thinking of getting a abortion today

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A week ago I found out I was pregnant by my ex bf. I told him I was pregnant and he said the best choice is to get a abortion. Me and him just broke up a week ago. And he told me 2 days ago that he's back with his ex and that he is happy. He said he doesn't want to have a child by a girl hes not with. Even though we wanted this baby at one point. Now he doesn't want it. I'm already a single mother with a 3 yr old son. And I cannot picture myself goin through the pregnancy and giving birth alone. And I am in no shape to keep the baby alone. I have no job, no car, don't have a stable home. I was expecting him to stay with me and not leave me but he's now trying to have a family with the girl he's with right now. I feel so alone and hopeless. I know abortion is wrong but I feel like in my situation that's the best thing to do
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by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 6:55 AM
Replies (31-40):
Joashmom
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I am going to go to a abortion consultation today through problem pregnancy. So I can look through all my options. And make sure I don't make a decision I'm going to regret afterwards


Quoting Tiffersmu:

I'm sure. I know plenty of women who feel that way. I really thing you should look through all of your options before making a decision. Maybe talk to an adoption clinic or support group. Obviously you'll want to make your decision fast. There's so many moms on cafemom including myself who have had difficulty conceiving so I'm definitely rooting for checking all of your resources first and making a decision based on YOURSELF only and not this ex who has seemed to throw you under the bus.




Quoting Joashmom:

I've thought about adoption. And it breaks my heart to think I'm going to be carrying the baby for 9 months, give birth and than just give the baby away






Quoting Tiffersmu:

What about adoption???? As hard as that sounds its truly a selfless act of love. Don't make any quick decisions bc of his actions. It's your body.



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Mamitamaria
by Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:25 AM
2 moms liked this

**hugs** I had an abortion under similar circumstances. It was a hard desicion...but, now looking, back it was the best choice I could have made for myself and my kids.

Quoting Joashmom:

I am going to go to a abortion consultation today through problem pregnancy. So I can look through all my options. And make sure I don't make a decision I'm going to regret afterwards


Quoting Tiffersmu:

I'm sure. I know plenty of women who feel that way. I really thing you should look through all of your options before making a decision. Maybe talk to an adoption clinic or support group. Obviously you'll want to make your decision fast. There's so many moms on cafemom including myself who have had difficulty conceiving so I'm definitely rooting for checking all of your resources first and making a decision based on YOURSELF only and not this ex who has seemed to throw you under the bus.




Quoting Joashmom:

I've thought about adoption. And it breaks my heart to think I'm going to be carrying the baby for 9 months, give birth and than just give the baby away






Quoting Tiffersmu:

What about adoption???? As hard as that sounds its truly a selfless act of love. Don't make any quick decisions bc of his actions. It's your body.



 

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bchic24
by Tia on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:26 AM

Look, when I got pregnant my husband, then boyfriend, and I were both unemployed and living with his mother. We were being stupid doing things we shouldn't and just acting downright idiotic. The day I found out I was pregnant I changed. We didn't want kids and we'd had a pregnancy scare before and he told me I should get an abortion, luckily we weren't pregnant then so I didn't have to make that decision. But I was scared to tell him I had gotten a positive because I knew he didn't think we were ready. At first he was like ok I guess, then he tried talking me into an abortion because of how sick I was, and then he accepted it. Unfortunately, my visa ran out only 12 weeks into the pregnancy and I had to leave. I was living by myself and went through the pregnancy completely alone. I was scared and broke but I got through it. He manned up and got a job and cleaned up his act and has been working his butt off to get us back to him. It's now been 2 years without him and raising our son alone. It hasn't been easy but we all survived! Life is much better now.
 

I guess what I'm saying is you're stronger than you think. My husband regrets even thinking about an abortion now because his son is the light of his world!!! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him! I never think abortion is an option. If you really don't think you can handle the child on your own then think of adoption. It's what's fair. I know no one wants to give up their body for nine months when they don't have to but none of this is that poor baby's fault! A fetus gets its heartbeat at 4 weeks (6th week of pregnancy). It's not just this thing, it's alive. 


Sorry if it seems like I am pressuring you, I'm just being passionate, I can't help it. In the end it's your choice. GL

Shiquita_Woods
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:28 AM
well I don't know what state u stay in but just go to your local office and ask
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Joashmom
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:30 AM
U can get a abortion pill up to 7 weeks


Quoting divinedimension:

Quoting Joashmom:

I'm 4-5 weeks pregnant and looking into getting the abortion pill





I think its too late for an abortion pill.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mem82
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:30 AM

No, they help you with every kid. You can get help. Don't let that scare you.

Quoting Joashmom:

There is temporary assistance. I have it right now. But the rumor going around that they only help you for one kid


Quoting Shiquita_Woods:

hi me personally don't believe in abortion but like one post said its always adoption and as u know abortion can mess your body up for future pregnancy but its your choice and you really don't need the father its always temporary assistance that can help u until u get back on your feet




mem82
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:32 AM
3 moms liked this

Just be careful they don't 'consel' you right into an abortion. Why don't you set up an adoption consultation, instead? 8)

Quoting Joashmom:

I am going to go to a abortion consultation today through problem pregnancy. So I can look through all my options. And make sure I don't make a decision I'm going to regret afterwards


Quoting Tiffersmu:

I'm sure. I know plenty of women who feel that way. I really thing you should look through all of your options before making a decision. Maybe talk to an adoption clinic or support group. Obviously you'll want to make your decision fast. There's so many moms on cafemom including myself who have had difficulty conceiving so I'm definitely rooting for checking all of your resources first and making a decision based on YOURSELF only and not this ex who has seemed to throw you under the bus.




Quoting Joashmom:

I've thought about adoption. And it breaks my heart to think I'm going to be carrying the baby for 9 months, give birth and than just give the baby away






Quoting Tiffersmu:

What about adoption???? As hard as that sounds its truly a selfless act of love. Don't make any quick decisions bc of his actions. It's your body.






MomNChandler
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this

he knocked you up then just left. if he wanted the baby at one point, he can't just change his mind. i am very much pro life just because you can put him/her up for adoption if at the end of pregnancy if you know or don't think you will be able to care for the baby. It's totally up to you what you do. No judgement here. God Bless and Good Luck to you!



MommyRJ
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:33 AM
It's your body, your choice.

But it sounds to me like you "want" it because he said he does. He sounds like a giant asshole who was using you. Did you get pregnant to keep him around?

There is also adoption. Someone would take great care of the baby. Find an adoption agency & counselor.

I also believe too that you could do it. There are many resources that could help you. And I'd defenitly take his butt for child support. It's not impossible

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mem82
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:34 AM

I had the option to abort my oldest and I'm so glad, I didn't. She's going to be 11 in a month and is just so beautiful. Don't throw away a child that could be the light in someone else's life, if not your own.

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