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Pregnancy Pregnancy

First time mom...and sad : (

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM
  • 19 Replies

My husband and I are expecting out first child in Aug this year and right now none of my emotions are good ones. I feel sad, scared, lonely, and that I'm not ready to be a mom.(which I have always wanted kids) I'm not sure what to do. I am new to this area and don't know a lot of people. My husband works a lot and is in the middle of getting us a new house. I just feel like I should be happy though. My husband loves me. I have a good life and yet I am unhappy even with a baby on the way... Whats makes me feel even worse is my husband keeps asking me if it's him that is making me unhappy and even though I tell him its not I don't think he believes me. I could really use some advise on how to deal with this and get past it.

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
skittles2011
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:25 PM
3 moms liked this

 pregnancy hormones can cause a whole spectrum of emotions to come up all at once. take a deep breath and focus on the good things in life. this is a great group of ladies, and we are always here if you need someone to talk to ok :)

how far along are you?

BabyBump298
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:33 PM

 Same here..I am always feeling stressed out, doesn't help that I'm trying to finish college and I worried that I might not finish in time, and my husband is the only one working right now and he has been working VERY long hours.  I think the biggest thing for me is I hope I finish so I can get a job so my husband won't feel like he has to work overtime every week to support us. I just know that I will be happier when when I finish college and knowing that he will be able to be home a little more. It will also be nice once the baby comes because I wont be completely by myself while I'm working at home.

godgrace777
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:40 PM

24 weeks monday.

LilynAustin
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I am expecting my 4th child, and going through the same emotions.  I feel scared and nervous.  I am nervous about having 4 kids, ages 5 and under and being able to give them all the attention they need, and deserve.  I know hormones can wreak havoc on your body, and cause all sorts of issues...including depression.  I go up and down, and di with all my pregnancies.  With my first I was SO scared.  I didn't think I would be a good mom, and I was so angry because I was so sick.  I couldn't understand why I had to be so sick, and was actually mad at my baby.  

When I held my baby boy in my arms for the first time all that fear went away.  All I had was love and adoration for this new life I had brought into this world.  I know it seems hard right now, and maybe you feel like you won't be good enough, but you will.  Just remember, we've all had those emotions, and they are SO normal...even if it's your first or your 4th!  

A couple things helped me.  Get the nursery or wherever the baby will be sleeping ready.  Go shopping for clothes, a little at a time.  Start preparing.  Buy a baby book, and start working on that.  Start working on how you want to birth.  Make that a positive experience for you.  Some times it's just something as simple as buying the perfect going home outfit for the excitement to appear.  Also, don't forget about yourself.  Treat yourself to a pedicure or a manicure.  Go get a massage.  Remembering to pamper yourself is really important.  It helps to relax you, which can be incrediably hard when you are so stressed about being a mom.

You will be an amazing mom.  It's just a range of emotions we all go through, and it's nothing to be ashamed of or scared of.  :)

LoveOfWisdom
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this
This is very normal. Not the same as you, but I never really bond with my pregnancies, doesn't mean I don't love them :) I think there is a perception that we should feel a certain way when pregnant and in my opinion, it's just not always true.

You also seem to be pretty stressed. Do you go to church? maybe some mommy groups? I know some MOPS groups sometimes have first time prego moms.
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godgrace777
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:57 PM

My husband and I are moving soon so unable to get the nursery set up yet. And I have pampered myself once since this pregency I guess I need to try and do something every week. But I don't work and I hate asking my husband for money for things like that any suggests on cheap things That I would do?

godgrace777
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:04 PM

LoveOfWisdom I had never thought of that. Everyone keeps telling to enjoy it and its a joyful thing but I don't feel like I am bonding with my baby yet which might explain some of why I feel so unhappy. Maybe because people have told me that I am to bond with my baby now and the fact that i am unable to already has me feeling like I am going to be a horrible mother. It's nice to know that there are many different feelings to have and that it is normal and I might not be a bad mother just because I am not bonding yet. I do hope that once these baby is placed in my arms that all this saddness will go away. (only to be replaced with fear!) And my husband and I don't go to church we do bible study at home every Sunday. The closest church to us is almost an hour away so we have decided it was better for us to do an at home study.

Devious103102
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:12 PM

Pregnancy hormones suck sometimes. Sorry hun.

tm88rn
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you mentioned your feelings to your dr? Do you have a history of depression? Pregnancy is difficult enough if everything else in your life is in perfect order, but you have a lot going on. Just try talking to your husband, and to your dr. How far along are you? And if you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message!

lj.smommy
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 6:54 PM
Each week I go to our pregnancy care center. They have different classes and such so I'm around other mothers that I can talk to. Plus if I really need to talk to someone the staff is really nice plus the coordinator gave me her cell in case I ever needed someone to talk to when Im feeling stressed out. If you have anything like that around, they're great to go to. If your not sure talk to your local health and human services or even WIC which is how I found out.

Quoting godgrace777:

LoveOfWisdom I had never thought of that. Everyone keeps telling to enjoy it and its a joyful thing but I don't feel like I am bonding with my baby yet which might explain some of why I feel so unhappy. Maybe because people have told me that I am to bond with my baby now and the fact that i am unable to already has me feeling like I am going to be a horrible mother. It's nice to know that there are many different feelings to have and that it is normal and I might not be a bad mother just because I am not bonding yet. I do hope that once these baby is placed in my arms that all this saddness will go away. (only to be replaced with fear!) And my husband and I don't go to church we do bible study at home every Sunday. The closest church to us is almost an hour away so we have decided it was better for us to do an at home study.

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