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How to tell your mother...

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So with my first baby my mom flew out to "help" us. And it was super stressful on my husband and I. Like at night when my ds would cry because he was hungry she would burst in to our bed room to "help" me feed him. I breast fed and thankfully my ds had no issues latching. It was just little things like that. Now that we are getting close to having our 2nd child she is talking about flying out again. How do I tell her we want to bond with the new baby as a family and let me recover without the stress of having company? Please no bashing or calling me selfish for not wanting her to come and stay with us when the baby is born. Like I said it was very stressful last time and I don't want that again.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:36 AM
Replies (11-14):
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:05 PM
Thank you all for te advice! I'm going to speak with her about it tomorrow! Hopefully it will go over well!
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:11 PM
If dh is off for a while after the baby arrives. Maybe just tell her that dh will be there to help for the first week and maybe she could come a little later.
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by Mandy on May. 1, 2012 at 9:20 PM

I went through this with my Mom when I had my last baby. Initially I had told her I wanted her at the delivery like she was with my first. But she was going through a divorce and was literally losing her mind. It wasn't healthy for me to have her around at that point. I also just wanted space to recover with my new family. I told everyone they could see us in the hospital, but once we were home, no visitors for a few weeks. At first my Mom was really upset. She kept saying my husband would get too overwhelmed. We would need help, she was coming to the delivery anyway. Etc. I was firm and she got over it after a while. She did end up pushing her way into the delivery, which did not go well. But your Mom won't be able to do that one so easily. 

So tell her you need time for just your husband and children, tell her gently, but firmly. She may be upset at first, but she will come around. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:05 AM

im pregnant with my first child and we straight up told his mom she cant stay with us she just said okay

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