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Pregnancy Pregnancy

"Birth rape" It happens more often than you might think

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This is an article and story about one woman's horrible experience with a forced c-section. Warning, you will be pissed off.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fshine.yahoo.com%2Fparenting%2Fbirth-rape-why-is-this-happening-in-our-hospitals-2459486.html&h=hAQGRKVrEAQH7n18eTCPjDnxOlB9HMFaPSNoanXje7nvWVQ




http://community.babycenter.com/post/a26519895/vbac_denied_horrid_experience...?cpg=1

Click here for the full story.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Replies (31-40):
doulala
by Emerald Member on May. 3, 2012 at 10:39 PM

I think this is really important.
  Why is someone using this term?     Why not offer a little sympathy and compassion rather than judgement  ?

Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

True, although everyone that I personally know who has experienced birth rape, has not been raped traditionally. There have also been a lot of cases that really were over dramatized in my opinion which makes the name rape not work for me. The way the term is used now, I could call my unauthorized episiotomy a birth rape. But I don't feel that that would be accurate. I can't say what other people are feeling though or try to deny their feelings so I can't really argue very much against them saying they were "raped" though either. 

Quoting doulala:
Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on May. 3, 2012 at 10:42 PM

She agreed to go to the OR because she was trying to do what was best for her baby. She didn't say she wasn't going to ever allow a c-section. She was saying she wanted to wait for her husband before she agreed and wanted more information to decide if a section was truly necessary. She let them prep her in case it was necessary but said she needed to wait for her husband to help her make an informed decision and for support. If it was so important that she have the section, the medical team should have made that clear instead of lying to her and breaking the law. 


Quoting LilysMommy813:

I agree. And there is a term for that it's called assault, IF they did gas her against her will and perform surgery without consent, they assaulted her not raped her. And she would not be posting it on babycenter she should be contacting a lawyer. I myself find some holes in the story, why would she agree to go to the OR? Why did she let them "prep" her before she was "gassed"? And while a c-section is not ideal IF that baby were having decels and not doing well a c-section is better than a sick or dead baby. I don't care what anyone says there are neccessary c-sections (not against someone's will) as a mother you should educate yourself so you can make those decisions and stand up for yourself if you think a c-section is not neccessary, but ultimately it's about the safety of your child

Quoting staciababy:

First off, I HATE THIS ARTICLE. To compare an emergency c section to a forcible sexual assault is nothing more than a cheap way to get people to read the article, and unfortunately, it has worked.Obviously this woman has never actually been raped, but nice of her to stir up horrible emotions for the women that have. If she was so against any medical intervention, why did she deliver at a hospital? Obviously the baby was having problems otherwise she wouldn't have been on oxygen,so she is not truthful in implying that she had this perfect delivery and it was taken from her. Secondly, this woman was not as educated as she wants everyone to think that she was, I can tell by the way she wrote the article and the way she describes the interventions that were done. I  wonder if this may be a natural birth proponent trying to paint yet another bad picture of a hospital birth. If any of this were true, she would be suing the hospital, not writing about it on babycenter. Of which her attorney would not permit her to discuss the details of her case on a social site.  Give me an emergency c section, please. I would rather be upset for having to be out for the birth of my baby than to hold a dead one.It just doesn't make sense. Don't believe everything you read.


1stpreggers
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this
This is horrible but calling it rape, is over the top.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on May. 3, 2012 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Exactly. I wonder if anyone would be saying this story is fake if the term rape had not been used though. If someone says this happened to them, it's wrong, and they need support. No matter what term is used.

Quoting doulala:

I think this is really important.
  Why is someone using this term?     Why not offer a little sympathy and compassion rather than judgement  ?

Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

True, although everyone that I personally know who has experienced birth rape, has not been raped traditionally. There have also been a lot of cases that really were over dramatized in my opinion which makes the name rape not work for me. The way the term is used now, I could call my unauthorized episiotomy a birth rape. But I don't feel that that would be accurate. I can't say what other people are feeling though or try to deny their feelings so I can't really argue very much against them saying they were "raped" though either. 

Quoting doulala:


LilysMommy813
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:03 PM
I totally agree the lack of consent was not only illegal but morally wrong for everyone involved.
Yes I do think it's weird that someone would go to an OR, be prepped, then be like "wait, this isn't what I want" (now I don't have the article in front of me so I'm not 100% on the order of how she said things happened) why not ask what's up before going to the OR? Something I ponder. I'm not saying she lied I'm just questioning things in her story.

I know women often have to fight for what they want, and to avoid interventions but I also know many hospitals are working towards less interventions and seeing that women are delivering how they choose not how the doctor chooses.

Dont get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of VBACs, natural birth, minimal intervention, and I do think many doctors do too much. But you can't always believe everything written on the Internet, I simply questioned where I saw holes, where I had questions.


Quoting doulala:

Whether it's someones opinion that there is a medical need for a cesarean isn't what may be questionable--      It sounds like maybe it's more her lack for consent.  
Do you think she wasn't educated or didn't want to stand up for herself?

A lot of moms have to fight against unnecessary risks-interventions so that they can work for safer births, for their babies and themselves.

Quoting LilysMommy813:

 why would she agree to go to the OR? Why did she let them "prep" her before she was "gassed"? And while a c-section is not ideal IF that baby were having decels and not doing well a c-section is better than a sick or dead baby.

you should educate yourself so you can make those decisions and stand up for yourself if you think a c-section is not neccessary, but ultimately it's about the safety of your child


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LilysMommy813
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:08 PM
I agree, I didn't read that in the article I clicked. I guess I would have discussed it with my husband before heading to the OR. Maybe it's just poorly written because I found myself asking how did she end up in the OR to begin with, I wouldn't leave the room until my husband knew, or maybe I missed part of what she wrote

Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

She agreed to go to the OR because she was trying to do what was best for her baby. She didn't say she wasn't going to ever allow a c-section. She was saying she wanted to wait for her husband before she agreed and wanted more information to decide if a section was truly necessary. She let them prep her in case it was necessary but said she needed to wait for her husband to help her make an informed decision and for support. If it was so important that she have the section, the medical team should have made that clear instead of lying to her and breaking the law. 


Quoting LilysMommy813:

I agree. And there is a term for that it's called assault, IF they did gas her against her will and perform surgery without consent, they assaulted her not raped her. And she would not be posting it on babycenter she should be contacting a lawyer. I myself find some holes in the story, why would she agree to go to the OR? Why did she let them "prep" her before she was "gassed"? And while a c-section is not ideal IF that baby were having decels and not doing well a c-section is better than a sick or dead baby. I don't care what anyone says there are neccessary c-sections (not against someone's will) as a mother you should educate yourself so you can make those decisions and stand up for yourself if you think a c-section is not neccessary, but ultimately it's about the safety of your child



Quoting staciababy:

First off, I HATE THIS ARTICLE. To compare an emergency c section to a forcible sexual assault is nothing more than a cheap way to get people to read the article, and unfortunately, it has worked.Obviously this woman has never actually been raped, but nice of her to stir up horrible emotions for the women that have. If she was so against any medical intervention, why did she deliver at a hospital? Obviously the baby was having problems otherwise she wouldn't have been on oxygen,so she is not truthful in implying that she had this perfect delivery and it was taken from her. Secondly, this woman was not as educated as she wants everyone to think that she was, I can tell by the way she wrote the article and the way she describes the interventions that were done. I  wonder if this may be a natural birth proponent trying to paint yet another bad picture of a hospital birth. If any of this were true, she would be suing the hospital, not writing about it on babycenter. Of which her attorney would not permit her to discuss the details of her case on a social site.  Give me an emergency c section, please. I would rather be upset for having to be out for the birth of my baby than to hold a dead one.It just doesn't make sense. Don't believe everything you read.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
christineT79
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:43 PM

This is obviously a terrible thing to happen & seems totally illegal to me but to call it rape. Really? Rape? That just seems like a bit much to me.

proudmommy92
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:50 PM
Well my birth experience was horriable. I could tell you everything but i think some might actually cry over it.

I dont refer to it as birth rape... i just refer to it as it not going the way i planned and the dr and nurses being very rude and not giving a shit.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on May. 4, 2012 at 1:15 AM

The thing with the article was that it was someone else's take and feelings on the original post on babycenter. So some parts weren't very clear in the article. The article was what called it birth rape. The person who actually had it happen to her just said she had a horrid experience which included horrible treatment and neglect after her surgery. 

Quoting LilysMommy813:

I agree, I didn't read that in the article I clicked. I guess I would have discussed it with my husband before heading to the OR. Maybe it's just poorly written because I found myself asking how did she end up in the OR to begin with, I wouldn't leave the room until my husband knew, or maybe I missed part of what she wrote

Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

She agreed to go to the OR because she was trying to do what was best for her baby. She didn't say she wasn't going to ever allow a c-section. She was saying she wanted to wait for her husband before she agreed and wanted more information to decide if a section was truly necessary. She let them prep her in case it was necessary but said she needed to wait for her husband to help her make an informed decision and for support. If it was so important that she have the section, the medical team should have made that clear instead of lying to her and breaking the law. 


Quoting LilysMommy813:

I agree. And there is a term for that it's called assault, IF they did gas her against her will and perform surgery without consent, they assaulted her not raped her. And she would not be posting it on babycenter she should be contacting a lawyer. I myself find some holes in the story, why would she agree to go to the OR? Why did she let them "prep" her before she was "gassed"? And while a c-section is not ideal IF that baby were having decels and not doing well a c-section is better than a sick or dead baby. I don't care what anyone says there are neccessary c-sections (not against someone's will) as a mother you should educate yourself so you can make those decisions and stand up for yourself if you think a c-section is not neccessary, but ultimately it's about the safety of your child



Quoting staciababy:

First off, I HATE THIS ARTICLE. To compare an emergency c section to a forcible sexual assault is nothing more than a cheap way to get people to read the article, and unfortunately, it has worked.Obviously this woman has never actually been raped, but nice of her to stir up horrible emotions for the women that have. If she was so against any medical intervention, why did she deliver at a hospital? Obviously the baby was having problems otherwise she wouldn't have been on oxygen,so she is not truthful in implying that she had this perfect delivery and it was taken from her. Secondly, this woman was not as educated as she wants everyone to think that she was, I can tell by the way she wrote the article and the way she describes the interventions that were done. I  wonder if this may be a natural birth proponent trying to paint yet another bad picture of a hospital birth. If any of this were true, she would be suing the hospital, not writing about it on babycenter. Of which her attorney would not permit her to discuss the details of her case on a social site.  Give me an emergency c section, please. I would rather be upset for having to be out for the birth of my baby than to hold a dead one.It just doesn't make sense. Don't believe everything you read.



Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on May. 4, 2012 at 1:17 AM
1 mom liked this

So interesting part of this debate. I just realized that this woman never claimed it as birth rape. She told her story and someone else called it rape in their article. A term which is used often. I just titled my post based on the article I was posting and went to find the original story after the fact. 

Quoting doulala:

I think this is really important.
  Why is someone using this term?     Why not offer a little sympathy and compassion rather than judgement  ?

Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

True, although everyone that I personally know who has experienced birth rape, has not been raped traditionally. There have also been a lot of cases that really were over dramatized in my opinion which makes the name rape not work for me. The way the term is used now, I could call my unauthorized episiotomy a birth rape. But I don't feel that that would be accurate. I can't say what other people are feeling though or try to deny their feelings so I can't really argue very much against them saying they were "raped" though either. 

Quoting doulala:


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