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My mom wants me to abort if my dd has Cystic Fibrosis

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:50 PM
  • 47 Replies

So I am about 22 weeks pregnant and I cary the CF gene, my mom's cousin died from the condition at an early age on a 10 minute car drive. They spotted a bright spot in dd bowels on my last ultra sound and that is common in children with CF but is not a diagnosis. Well SO is getting his genes run to be safe but my mom wants me to do an anmnio and find out "before it's too late" bc I don't know/understand how horrible it was to watch some one suffer with CF and there is no cure, bc I will spend all my money and time on a child who won't live as long or as well as she should and my two other daughters will resent me. I get while people make these choices and my mom actually had an abortion after she had my sister and I bc she thought my dad was dying (he had Hep B really badly and was told that he would not survive.) I understand that it was the right choice for her and maybe it's the right choice for a lot of other people but not for me. It's breaking my heard dd might be fine but I feel really bad about this. Mom says if it's too late to abort her I should give her up to spare the other girls (not that she thinks anyone would want her.) I can't, I just can't, okay? She's so offended and worried I can't even stand it. I don't even want to do an amnio bc it wouldn't change anything but it might her her. She has a name for the love of God! Sorry if I got a little ranty. 


*Thank all of you who have shared your personal stories, I can't believe how quickly people who have known others with CF have been to share. No matter what I just want my children to have fulfilling lives.  To people who think my mom is cruel, she's a very hard woman and her back story is kind of crazy. I've actually heard my grandmother tell her she was a mistake and she never wanted her. She was actually resented by her brothers and she is physically and mentally "normal." I know that everyone has a back story but I try to be forgiving. 

by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Duquesne
by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:53 PM
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CF treatments have come a very very very long way in just a few years. It's not an early death sentence anymore. There are CF patients who grow up and do freaking amazing things---like marathons and other things that people wouldn't dream they'd be doing a decade ago.

I'm sorry she's being so negative. :/ hang in there.
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MrsCorky
by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this
If an amino wouldn't make a difference I wouldn't do it. You make the choice that is best for you
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sparklebug86
by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:57 PM
2 moms liked this

Heres the thing - Amnios are often VERY WRONG so you could abort a health baby. I know its tough but you have to do what you think is best for you. 

Religiously, I dont believe in abortions but, I know that going through something like CF with one of my children would be unbearable but, I cant imagine not knowing them. I personally wouldnt abort but, thats just me.

GL momma!

Maevelyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:02 PM

I told her that and about how they can get lung transplants and  therapy, this isn't the 70s anymore all she says is that treatments take money and the my other kids will hate me and resent her for ruining their lives. I want to believe that I would love my sister nomatter what. We're not well off but we always seem to have just enough and she says I don't understand what it's like not to be able to have to always pick between groceries and gas. 

Quoting Duquesne:

CF treatments have come a very very very long way in just a few years. It's not an early death sentence anymore. There are CF patients who grow up and do freaking amazing things---like marathons and other things that people wouldn't dream they'd be doing a decade ago.

I'm sorry she's being so negative. :/ hang in there.


Mrs.Campfield
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I had a friend who had cf.  He wasn't supposed to live past 10 years old.  He passed away last year at the age of 28 from an aneurysm.  While times were difficult there were many many treatments that helped him get through.  She is your child, already your daughter, and I think that it will make your other children stronger, not resentful.  Life is a blessing, even if it isn't "perfect"  I believe that every heartbeat, every moment, and every breath is worth taking.  Do what you know in your heart is right.  While children with cf can have a hard time, and may not live long, If it was me that wouldn't be enough of a reason to not give her the chance to live at all.  Think about all of the medical advancements in the last ten years, imagine where the medical field will be in ten years from now.  Do what you know in YOUR heart to be right.  I am sure that once she is here, your mother will love her just as she does your other children.  xoxo

Randi02
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Phase 2 Study of Kalydeco and VX-809 in Combination Shows Promising Interim Results

May 7, 2012

Vertex Pharmaceuticals Inc. today announced promising interim results from a Phase 2 clinical trial of its cystic fibrosis drug Kalydeco™ and VX-809, a CF drug in development.

The results showed a significant improvement in lung function in people with two copies of the most common CF mutation who received the two drugs in combination.

Both Kalydeco and VX-809 are designed to treat the underlying cause of CF. Complete results from the Phase 2 trial are expected this summer.

The ongoing Phase 2 study enrolled 108 people, ages 18 and older, who have one or two copies of the Delta F508 mutation. Today’s results are based on data from about half of the study participants after they had completed 56 days of treatment.

Vertex plans to begin a pivotal trial of Kalydeco and VX-809 in people with two copies of the Delta F508 mutation, pending final study results. Pivotal trials are typically designed to gather data that could be used by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to decide whether or not to approve a potential drug.

"We are eagerly awaiting the full results, and are pleased that Vertex is accelerating its plans for a pivotal study of the combination treatment in those with two copies of Delta F508," said Robert J. Beall, Ph.D., president and CEO of the CF Foundation.

The CF Foundation played a key role in the development of Kalydeco and VX-809, providing significant scientific, clinical and financial support.

About 50 percent of people with CF in the United States have two copies of the Delta F508 mutation. About 40 percent of people with CF in the United States have one copy.

Earlier this year, the FDA approved Kalydeco for people with the G551D mutation ages 6 and older. Kalydeco is the first drug that treats the underlying cause of CF — a defective gene and its protein product, known as CFTR.

Learn More

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/387292_2884772599754_1273299282_33296172_1842233479_n.jpg

Mrs.Campfield
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this

There are also insurance companies, medicad, social security, many avenues to help provide the financial means to help.  Look into the cf foundation to see what you can find out.  Where there is a will there is a way, children are much more accepting (in terms of your girls) than we often give them credit for.  And youre right, lung transplants, treatments, they are all possibilities.  It won't be easy, but the life of a child is worth it.  

silka08
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:07 PM
4 moms liked this
Your child, your choice. Period.

Can you live with the what ifs? Id rather have 15yrs with a child than 0 no matter how difficult.

On some level your mom may be seeking justification for her decision to abort years ago.
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TTC2Long
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:11 PM
I'm sorry, your mom sounds like a sick, cold, f-ed up person. I would tell her this topic is off the table, then end any conversation in which she mentions it immediately. If she can't let it go, stop talking to her. I would have a hard time being around someone who thinks that way, who suggests I kill my child because of a CHANCE she might have health issues and uses that kind of logic. :(
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ElyseFowler
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:13 PM

It's your body, your child, your decision. Obviously you're mom is simply being selfish. I think it's wrong that she is pretty much ordering you to have the abortion or give up your beautiful baby. Your mother should support you with whatever decision you end up making. I have a son with ADHD and if my mom told me to abort him because of it I would have walked out of her life for good. I think a child with Autism, ADHD, ADD, OCD or even CF or anything else is a blessing. She can't know what your daughters will do, Maybe they'll thank you one day especially if they are going through what you're going through. Hope this helps and good luck!!

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