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Birthing drama need help and advice

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So we were contemplating the idea of doing a home birth. Our insurance for anything out of network sucks. To use the only midwife in the area we would pay 1500 plus 60% out of pocket. She is out of network. We can't get her approved in network because there is a nurse midwife in our network even though she doesn't do home birth.

The at home midwife delivered both of my sisters children which is where the drama starts. She is very opinionated and trying to convince me that spending the money is worth it. While I don't disagree an know that she is probably right my family is in a super tough spot financially because work for my dh has been really slow.

We are currently 21 weeks after three losses and a surgery we are having issues finding another doctor to take us on. My primary made some comments and I was irritated by them so we started looking for someone else. Because he is the top dr in our network any one who could take us is his associate and they won't. So between that and our history it pretty much screws us to find someone new.

I can't seem to justify making a huge expense decision until his work picks up and there is no telling when that will be. It's been a rough year so far and this past week I officially emptied our savings.

I understand where my sister is coming from but how do I choose between a home birth out of network at 1500+60% vs an in network hospital birth that would be covered 100%.

My sister is all natural all the time so naturally she feels home birth is the better option. What do i say to her to let her give me the chance to make a choice with out her shoving it down my throat.

My first birth I was induced with an epidural loads of pain meds and an episiotomy with the same dr I have now. These are all things I'd like to avoid. I didn't have a birth plan or consider natural birth so I don't even know how he feels about it. I was young and had no idea I had options.

Sorry this is so long and all over the place I just need some help and advice xoxo
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by on May. 12, 2012 at 7:54 AM
Replies (41-43):
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell me about it.  The quotes you placed are actually more appropriate.  I'M hoping that will be the case and preparing for it.  Hubby is too scared for it to be an official "plan." 

Quoting doulala:

Quoting Heather2001:

  I won't make it and " accidentally" have the baby at home.

It's too bad that some have to resort to this--    It's just so nice when it's The Plan.

by on May. 12, 2012 at 9:38 PM

I'd get a birth plan going and if you're Dr. is messing with his other associates its wrong and not fair to you and possibly against the law. I'd contact a lawyer on that but, def start a birth plan

by on May. 13, 2012 at 12:43 PM

I would be affraid to do a homebirth even with a midwife. What if something happens, if the baby is in distress or the baby is upside down or backward's. You never know what is going to happen untill it happens. Good luck with your decision. Tell your sister its your's and your husbands decision, not her's. If she is willing to pay for the birth then she can assist you in the decision. :) Funny how its a different story when its their money and not your's. :)

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