Do I let the baby's father be there for the delivery?
Update- so many have asked about abuse and yes he was physically abusive toward me. I do not trust this man and do not believe anything he says. I do not hate him and am not trying to be vindictive if I choose not to tell him. Its just something Im torn on because we planned for this child and did love each other very much. But with the things that he has done it shows that he doesn't respect me or care about anything other than himself.
IMO an unsupportive person, regardless of their relationship with baby or mom, should not be present for labor or delivery. The hormones that control labor are strongly tied to feelings of stress or safety... feeling unsafe or stressed can literally stop labor and prevent your cervix from dilating. When you feel safe, labor is able to progress.
It doesn't sound like he is going to be good labor support if he is there, so I recommend hiring a doula (they are wonderful labor support regardless of what your birth plan is) and informing him of the birth afterward.
f** him, if he wants to leave let him and don't telll him a damn thing. He dont desirve you being nice to him when he wasn't being that to you. so have your son with out him he will be the only one kicking his own ass for not being there for you or being nice to you .
I absolutely wouldn't tell him! During labor no negative people are allowed in the room for me. I need to be focused on the labor not other people. And if he's abusive why would you want him involved in your childs life?
Unless he got anger management or some kind of help for his problems that would no longer make him a threat to you and or your child he shouldn't be allowed to be around period.
I think if it were just because *I* didn't like the father then it wouldn't really be fair for me to not allow him to be there. But you said he's abusive..so that's reason enough.
Quoting Lizzys_mommy13:I'd tell him when you go into labor, but I wouldn't welcome him into the room during labor. He can wait in the waiting room like everyone else.
You should tell him, but you don't have to let him into the delivery room. He can wait outside. He sounds like an ass.... but unless you think he's going to be abusive to the baby then it would be wrong to keep him away. Lots of men are assholes but turn out to be great fathers, and I think your baby deserves to have a dad if at all possible.
Now if all he does is cause trouble after giving him a chance... then drop him.
Will you have any friends or family come stay with you post-birth to help out?
- aprilrose4
on May. 22, 2012 at 10:06 PM