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Relationship Trouble

Posted by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:03 PM
  • 23 Replies

I'm a young mom-to-be. this will be my boyfriend and my first child. but we are living at his parents house at the moment, and i dont have a job. my parents are not supportive whatsoever and won't help out. hes starting to lose his cool and it's starting to pass to me too. Our relationship is strained because of all the stresses we have and we seem to keep fighting about stupid things. for example, he wants to be able to go out until 4 am and doesn't think its a big deal. when i get mad at him, he tells me hes a grown man and doesnt need a f**king curfew...blah blah blah.this is all while i'm left alone at his parents house all day long. neither of his parents are working at the moment so it's stressful on everybody to have us living here. they are fighting constantly because of their own issus and i just feel like a big burden to everyone. I dont know what to do. my boyfriend and i aren't intimate anymore at all...he just wants to be out of this house and with his friends all night doing whatever....and i'm getting depressed, lonely, and building up this anger that i shouldn't have in the first place. i know this was an unplanned pregnancy and we are too young and financially unstable...but i feel like he needs to grow up alittle and he's not taking responsibility and acting like an adult. we are both 21 and he just wants to be young and go out and i understand it... but we decided to keep this baby and once i make a decision i stick to it. I love this baby with all my heart and will do anything. this is my priority. im just not sure what to do about him or how long i should wait for this to change. he says he loves me and wants nothing but to be with me and raise this baby with me. but his actions say otherwise.


by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:03 PM
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by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:07 PM

Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit.  Maybe try some counseling?

by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:11 PM
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sounds like 16 and pregnant only you're 21 lol

by Ruby Member on May. 28, 2012 at 11:32 PM
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. :/
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by on May. 28, 2012 at 11:38 PM
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Sorry to hear about that. I went through something simular. About 7 years ago where my ex partied all night when I was pregnant and also once the baby was born, only difference was that I was working. He even got arrested for a DUI 2 weeks after our child was born. Luckily I was finally able to get away from him. I would recommend finding some sort of part time employment before the baby is born because if you stay dependant on him when he's not emotionally supportive now, then he most likely will be the same way and perhaps worse after the baby is born. Lack of intamacy (hugging, kissing, saying I love you, etc.) is a big red flag. Always have a parachute - give youself and your baby an emergency escape route.
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by on May. 29, 2012 at 12:20 AM

I'm just so tired of dealing with his bullshit. two nights in  a row he is out until 4am.,...and then again today we went to run a couple errands... he left to go work on his car with a friend around 5 and he's still out at its past 9. he texted me saying hes at sushi... and when i tried to call he won't answer his phone. I'm so done with this. I don't deserve to be treated like a doormat. I am at my ends here... I really don't know what to do. I don't know how else to get across to him.

by on May. 29, 2012 at 12:32 AM
Maybe check into some resources... I know where I love there are programs to help young moms find shelter and jobs and what not. It sounds like he really needs to grow up, and unfortunately that doesn't always happen when baby comes. Do you have any family members that are supportive? You have to think about what's best for you and baby, and you shouldn't have to deal with that stress. Hope it gets better for you hun.
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by Mandy on May. 29, 2012 at 12:40 AM
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It sounds like he wants out but is feeling stuck. I think the relationship needs to end if it is that bad. It can't be about you trying to control him all the time and make him grow up. Why don't you or him have jobs? I really think you need to find a way to get out on your own. Obviously that is hard, but the situation is just going to get worse if you stay, and you are an adult.

by on May. 29, 2012 at 9:50 AM

 I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. Maybe if you could get out of the house and work a little part-time job it might make you feel better.

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by on May. 29, 2012 at 10:43 AM
Well he may not change at 21 guys just wanna do what they want soketikew they do but it might be to late he should be working and saving money for the baby. Its expensive and if u think ur stressed now wait into the baby comes and ur alone dealing with the baby and no oje wants to help. Am sorry I don't want to make u upset but its just something to pace ur self for. Might need to get a job and to with a friend or family because either ur gonnamwork to pay he's family's bills and ur need to start closely getting baby things. I hope he changes quick for you. Talk to him and if he doesn't listen then u know that when baby comes it will continue that way.
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by on May. 29, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Honestly - find yourself a parttime job to save up some cash for yourself & the baby because chances are he's not going to stick around or own up to responsibility. I've been in that situation with my ex.. and he always said I wanna be there for the baby & you blah blah, but yet was out all the time ect..

Turned out in the end he was just saying that so I wouldn't bitch & when it came down to it - he didn't step up & be a dad, he backed out..

Not saying thi will happen, but its possible... so have a backup plan! Lots of guys just won't understand how to be ready to be a father, or know how to deal with the emotions that happen from being pregnant. Goodluck.
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