Test results and reactions by medical profession :(
A little bit of basic information... I am due to have baby number 5 in december and the pregnancy was a complete suprise and unplanned... I am 42 so am immediatly classed as 'high risk' anyway because of my age alone...
I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday, and the Midwife left me feeling guilty, upset, scared and very angry... I have a 1 in 11 chance of having a child with Down syndrome because the blood test came back positive.. The ultrasound was excellent and the fluid behind the neck was the right amount, so there is no definant diagnoses at the moment...
I was treated as if there has been a diagnosis and was told by the Midwife, to have an amniosentisies, and to terminate... She didnt even say 'if the amnio results come back for DS to terminate'...That i have 4 healthy children already and that given that i am 42, what happens when i am no longer here... She never asked me what i had planned to do, or what my thoughts were, she told me what i should do... Nor did she ask me what my hubby wanted me to do, or his thoughts either...
Hubby and i have decided that we are not going to have a amnio because of the risks, and that we will love our baby regardless... That we are leaving this in Gods hands and will work together and face whatever comes our way...
Medical professionals need to be more aware of how they approach telling a mother they are 'high risk' and give some hope, rather than making a desicion for them based on a blood test result, even before there is an exact diagnosis...
My sister is 38, going through her very FIRST pregnancy, and facing the same things as you are.
I seem to be against the grain here, but seriously, what do you expect? You're 42, not a 'delicate flower', and shouldn't expect to be treated as if you're about to fall apart.
You ARE high risk, and the news will be the same no matter how it's delivered. If you already have four kids, and are 42, I expect a little more backbone from someone like you.
Your kids (including the one coming, esp if its a Downs baby) and your husband need a STRONG woman...not one who falls apart because someone hurt her delicate little feelings.
Sorry about the callousness of that midwife. But again if she can't remain objective and just give the screening info without drama trauma you don't need that one. You will have unneeded stress and that doesn't help the baby. If she jumps like this over a INCONCLUSIVE SCREENING, what will she freak out over later? Sounds like she doesn't have the temperment to be objective.
She told you to abort because she can't handle your pregnancy, not because of a true issue. Please go elsewhere for care.
Quoting kcangel63:
Are there any other midwives you could switch to? I love midwives, but I would not return if any midwife/Dr talked to me like that. :(
((HUGS))
You do what you both feel is right!
mid week check in 5/22
How many weeks are you?
- xxMichellexx
on Jun. 14, 2012 at 1:14 AM