Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Test results and reactions by medical profession :(

Posted by   + Show Post

A little bit of basic information... I am due to have baby number 5 in december and the pregnancy was a complete suprise and unplanned... I am 42 so am immediatly classed as 'high risk' anyway because of my age alone...

I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday, and the Midwife left me feeling guilty, upset, scared and very angry... I have a 1 in 11 chance of having a child with Down syndrome because the blood test came back positive.. The ultrasound was excellent and the fluid behind the neck was the right amount, so there is no definant diagnoses at the moment...

I was treated as if there has been a diagnosis and was told by the Midwife, to have an amniosentisies, and to terminate... She didnt even say 'if the amnio results come back for DS to terminate'...That i have 4 healthy children already and that given that i am 42, what happens when i am no longer here... She never asked me what i had planned to do, or what my thoughts were, she told me what i should do... Nor did she ask me what my hubby wanted me to do, or his thoughts either...

Hubby and i have decided that we are not going to have a amnio because of the risks, and that we will love our baby regardless... That we are leaving this in Gods hands and will work together and face whatever comes our way...

Medical professionals need to be more aware of how they approach telling a mother they are 'high risk' and give some hope, rather than making a desicion for them based on a blood test result,  even before there is an exact diagnosis...


CafeMom Tickers
by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Replies (651-660):
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:12 PM

nurses  diagnosing is bad enough, but without test results is a double strike.  Gotta love that.  The physician in your practice needs to know this

Quoting tiffinimariexox:

My nurse at the doctors office told me I put on to much weight and to never do it again and also diagnosed me with gestational diabetes and to much amniotic fluid before my gestational diabetes test and with out an ultra sound I hate my doctors office but I'm already 36 weeks and they are stingy about transferring records

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 9:32 PM

thank you may u have a healthy child god be with u

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:06 PM

A chance of 1 in 11 means you have 10 chances the other way. Leave it in God's hands. He is the only one that knows the result of the test. 

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this

When I had my fifth at 36, considered high risk because of age, my doctor asked if I wanted an amnio. I said no and we wouldn't do anything even if the results came back bad. My doctor said, good, he was glad to hear it. It was nice having a doctor that thought the way we did.

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Second opinion
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:00 PM

My son's tests also came back higher than normal (I was 34) and he was born healthy with no Down Syndrome.  Tests are often incorrect. It sounds like you have the right attitude for you. Your husband and yourself do not care and you are leaving it in God's hands. Tell her as much...then switch midwives. Sounds more like something a callous doctor might say IMO midwives are usually more understanding of a womans feelings. I'd tell her how cold she was and suggest she may want to adjust her bedside manner.

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 11:34 PM
I'm very sorry about that sweetie:0( plz find u another midwife or Dr. She's a terrible person and a horrible midwife. God is on your side and i believe you're going to have a beautiful and healthy baby
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 12:03 AM

I don't think anyone should be telling you to have one.  They could suggest it, but if you didn't want one, then the topic would be off limits to you.  Since it doesn't seem like this lady is going to be positive with you, perhaps you should consider looking for someone who is like mided.   Just because the test is positive doesn't mean the child will 100% be DS, but it does mean that there's a good chance it will be.  Are you prepared for DS?  It's hard to raise a child with a mental issue like DS, but the real issue wth DS is that very often there are medical issues as well.  Your child may have a heart defect, among other issues.   You won't be the first to choose to raise a DS baby, and you won't be the last - but make sure you read up on ALL the possibilities of what you are in store for IF he has it.  

I would also suggest that you talk with your clergy people.  If your faith believes in laying on of hands, ask for it, and let God do his thing.  If he gives you a child with Downs, he will do it knowing that he didn't give you more than you could handle.  But he may surprise you and take away the DS at the last minute giving you another perfect child.    However, I would highly suggest that you have your tubes tied after this one so that you don't have another.

by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM
My baby had a "soft" marker for downs and was born normal. He is thriving and full of life. It is easier to worru than not.
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 3:18 AM
1 mom liked this

That is horrible. I was 42 when I got pregnant with my 3rd child, they considered me high risk due to my age and my difficulties with my past pregnancies. They thought I was strange to opt out of all those tests, and several times during my pregnancy asked me if I wanted the tests, I told them no I was keeping my baby no matter what. A couple of weeks after my 43rd birthday, my baby girl was born. She has DS, the first few months we had a few issues with her health, she had 3 holes in her heart, some feeding issues, her O2 kept dropping and she was too large for her gestational age,( she was 9lbs 1oz). Today she is 14 months old, she's crawling and walking with help, she talks with sign and is working on her words. She has no health problems, vision, hearing, thyroid, celiacs, all her tests come back good. Not so much as a cold or ear infection so far, and most people can't tell by looking at her that she has DS. Am I lucky? Yes in so many ways, but I wouldn't trade my DS baby for a 'normal' baby, she's the light of my life. DS isn't always fullof the doom and gloom people make it out to be, each child is different. Good luck.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)