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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Test results and reactions by medical profession :(

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A little bit of basic information... I am due to have baby number 5 in december and the pregnancy was a complete suprise and unplanned... I am 42 so am immediatly classed as 'high risk' anyway because of my age alone...

I had a hospital appointment on Tuesday, and the Midwife left me feeling guilty, upset, scared and very angry... I have a 1 in 11 chance of having a child with Down syndrome because the blood test came back positive.. The ultrasound was excellent and the fluid behind the neck was the right amount, so there is no definant diagnoses at the moment...

I was treated as if there has been a diagnosis and was told by the Midwife, to have an amniosentisies, and to terminate... She didnt even say 'if the amnio results come back for DS to terminate'...That i have 4 healthy children already and that given that i am 42, what happens when i am no longer here... She never asked me what i had planned to do, or what my thoughts were, she told me what i should do... Nor did she ask me what my hubby wanted me to do, or his thoughts either...

Hubby and i have decided that we are not going to have a amnio because of the risks, and that we will love our baby regardless... That we are leaving this in Gods hands and will work together and face whatever comes our way...

Medical professionals need to be more aware of how they approach telling a mother they are 'high risk' and give some hope, rather than making a desicion for them based on a blood test result,  even before there is an exact diagnosis...

 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Replies (661-670):
Sweet_Carol_126
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 4:28 AM

I know this was hard tohear, but at the same time, if they gave you hopeful news, most pregnant mothers would grab onto that and if the child did have downs might sue the doctor or midwife for telling them it was okay or leading them to believe that.

My daughter was in your condition.  She had 3 children and the 4th was unplanned though they had tried for years to have another one, so this was a surprise.  She was over  40 as well.  I believe they told her that there was a chance.  I don't recall whether they decided to do the amniocentesis or not.  I will have to ask her now.  There was a chance it would not be okay.  Instead she is April Maylea (Maylea being Hawaiian for wildflower).  She is a ball of energy and runs the place unfortunately.  She is very bright and precocious.  I hope you have the same result.  I don't recall what the initial test showed but I do know that there was something negative and they were concerned about it.  For some women having a child with downs would be too difficult for them.  My daughter and her husband also decided to go ahead and hoped for the best and were fortunate.  But I do understand them telling you the chances and being smewhat negative because they can't be positive because too many would grab hold and blame them.  I'll try to check with my daughter and get back on here and find this spot and respond.  I wish I knew whether they had the amniocentesis or not.  I am thinking they may have but I can't recall.  They didn't talk about it much.  Good luck to your family. God bless you. 

tnbabie
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 8:37 AM

when I was pregnant with my 5th baby , they told me he was going to be down syndrome.. I did all the research I could and attended classes for working with handicapped children (wich has paid off in the long run) went to the support groups all of it.. My son was born and was not DS ..however when he was about 9 mos old he was diagnosed epileptic  and asthmatic.. 

No matter what your baby will love you as you love them Praying for the best 

oobee69
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 10:41 AM

There is no need to have an ammnio if you have decided to have the baby even if he has down syndrom.  But I think you definetly need to change midwifes to one who listens to what is right for you and your husband.  She is not the one who has the final say you are. 

ventigurl
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Switch midwives, talk to her supervisor so she doesn't continue to do this to other expectant Mommies & know that we all have your back & will be praying for you, your family & your PERFECT unborn baby-2-be. <3
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PITAmom1023
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:12 PM

I wanted to share my story or at least my Tia's story.  She was 40 and pregnant with her fifth baby.  A very big surprise for everyone but we were extremly happy for the family.  So during her pregnancy she refused any of the tests and refused the amnio no matter how much it was pushed and it was pushed for her to get it.  she told her doc "Im not going to terminate if my baby is special needs so I dont want the amnio."  

She delivered Ricky full term and he was s downs baby he will be turning two in a month and he is the happiest loveable baby anyone could ever know.  He has occupational therapy, physical, and speech therapy every month.  All the therapists agree he is on track with all his milestones and not behind at all because the downs was based on my tias age.  It is considered a mild case.  Now he does have the facial features, but thats all he has.  He isnt even short!!! 

Just because you have a possibility of having downs number 1 doesnt mean your baby will and number 2 it could be a mild case like Ricky,   but number 3 a downs baby is the most loving baby you could ever have they know all the happiness in the world and bring it to you!  

Good luck and I hope all is well! you are not given what you cant handle!

michele115
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:28 PM

My midwives were so wonderful. I didn't even want the testing but they isisted because I was 38. The test came back positive for trisomy 21 but the chances were slim. My midwife never even talked to me about abortion. She asked won't I love my baby either way? It makes me sick to hear drs and midwives tell women to abort babies with issues. I have a child with down syndrome and I still don't care. I love him no matter what. So do all his relatives and cashiers at the stores we go to and friends of ours. No one sees what he has only who he is.

bamaples1020
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 3:57 PM

You are very smart not to listen to her.  I have heard of many, many ppl who was to have a baby with DS or Spina Bifida and it did not happen.  God knows what he is doing.  

Some scientists can't understand loving a child with disabilities.  They just terminate and try again.  

I would never terminate a pregnancy.  It would make me feel as if I had chosen to kill my child.  And that guilt would be way worse than loving a child they label less than normal

RTLB
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 6:25 PM

I am so sorry that you were spoken to in that manner.  I agree you should try and find a new midwife that you feel confertable with...I have to agree with what I saw posted earlier... only you know what is right for you and your family and God has chosen the perfect child for you.  hugs and prayers

singlemomw2grls
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 7:37 PM

I am so sorry!!! So Down's babies and people are not worthy of life?? And for the record, I am pro-choice. I would only consider termination if the baby had a life threatening, hideously painful disease. 1 in 11 means you have 10 in 11 chance the baby won't be Downs. . . Those aren't bad odds. And I totally get  you on the amnio. I was 35 when I had my 2nd and refused the blood test (because I have heard that there is a HUGE false postive rate). I told my doc that if something looked really iffy on the ultrasound that I would consider the amnio but if not, I wasn't going to take that risk. They can do such amazing ultrasounds now where they can look at the heart and such. That is the main thing, you want them to be prepared to help the baby if you do deliver a Down's baby because there is a higher rate of having medical complications.  New midwife!! Good luck to you!

k19
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 8:06 PM
That midwife needs to be reported on to her governing board. She has no right to even suggest terminating your pregnancy. Having a Down's child can be one of the most positive and rewarding experiences of your life. They see the word so much more positively than most people and can teach us a lot about humanity. I wish you all the best for a healthy child and a great adventure!
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