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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Ignorance!

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:40 PM
  • 30 Replies
6 moms liked this
I have noticed a lot of negative comments of here the past two days! Woman complaint about others posts such as "could I be pregnant" ?.."Are theses symptoms" and so on? Maybe I was mistaken when I joined the site but I thought it was a friendly, Give advice, sympathize, offer kind words type of site. It is so disheartening to see others make fun, bashing Or making other woman the butt of their joke. Yes, if unthinkable ur pregnant u should test?..however what if someone doesn't have the funds to test right away, What if someone has been disappointed so many times they are afraid to test? Maybe these woman are just looking for a little reassurance or comforting kind words?..is that such a bad thing?!?!? Some of us females already know what it's like to be pregnant, have children, And what it's like TTC So to be mean, rude and down right ignorant really bothers me. Sorry for the rant, but why ruin the site for someone just because U think their comment or question is stupid!
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rfhsure
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with you, I think it's nice that someone would say that. I'm expecting my first child (i go in today to find out how far along I am) and I joined this site for that reason. I'm only 20 so I wanted to talk to some other young moms and hopefully get some good advice and have some people to talk to, and in turn provide the same service for other girls like me if I can. So I side with you!

Michelle1717
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Quoting rfhsure:

I agree with you, I think it's nice that someone would say that. I'm expecting my first child (i go in today to find out how far along I am) and I joined this site for that reason. I'm only 20 so I wanted to talk to some other young moms and hopefully get some good advice and have some people to talk to, and in turn provide the same service for other girls like me if I can. So I side with you!


Thank you! Congratulations on ur pregnancy :-) I have 2 children currently TTC #3, so if u ever wanna chat I'm here :-)
nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I agree! So sick of nasty women who have nothing better to do then pick on others
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fireeyes81
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the reason questions like that get bashed is because generally people in this group want to talk about pregnancy.  I actually used to do Yahoo Answers before I came to Cafemom but I switched because the whole pregnancy section became "Am I Pregnant", "Could I be Pregnant" and "Is this a Pregnancy Symptom" questions.  The problem comes in when people can't/don't use the search button, and at the end of the day, no one online can tell you with 100% certainty whether or not you're pregnant because you had heartburn yesterday... you know?  I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way because I'm really not trying to be rotten.  Sorry if some comments hurt your feelings, but I'm sure you'll understand soon enough ;)

rfhsure
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:57 PM

thank you! I was a bit freaked out at first, but I'm just excited now. It's been a difficult situation because the baby is my ex boyfriends. I met someone shortly after we broke up and because of that my ex is now saying that i cheated on him and he doesn't think the baby is his. the guy I was seeing was so upset by the news I'm not really sure if he'll even talk to me again. the baby is most important so I'm willing to sacrifice this guy if I need to. but It's just been hard because I know the baby is my ex's, I never would have cheated on him and it kind of hurts me that he doesn't think it's his. I'm willing to undergo a paternity test when the baby is born but I don't want to wait that long for his acceptance. Today I go in for my ultrasound and i'm hoping that he'll see how far along I am and that will be enough. I've seen him looking at pictures of other pregnant girls and try to compare my stomach to theirs and he keeps going through old emails nd referencing them to a calendar and ugh. It's just making me stressed out and my time here kind of uncomfortable. I know if he finds this baby is his he'll be a wonderful father. He really is a great person. And I understand that he was hurt by the fact that I had moved on so quickly. But I didn't have unprotected sex with this guy. My ex and I had it multiple times, and we used plan B but it just makes more sense to me that that didn't work than a condom. Aside from that when I did have sex with this other guy like i said it was protected and it wasn't very long ago. I started getting morning sickness  a little over a week ago and based on what I've read that most commonly occurs after about 8 weeks. My belly isn't big at all but it's definitely becoming more noticeable. I feel like I'm pretty far along, 8 weeks just makes sense to me. but now that my ex is freaking out about it's making me psych myself out too! Sorry this is so long but I have no one to talk to about this. I didn't have a doubt in my mind that the baby was his until he confessed to me he was having doubts. I just kind of wanted a second opinion from someone who's been pregnant before. Doesn't it make more sense that I would get pregnant after unprotected sex with plan B than using a condom? and aren't my symptoms (morning sickness, breast tenderness/soreness, and a bulge in my uterus) that of someone who is further along than 4 to 6 weeks?

Duquesne
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 12:59 PM
4 moms liked this
While I agree that bashing on this site is out of hand, how does you calling people ignorant make you any better?
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FarmGirl2B
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM
No question is a stupid question. We've been there done that, and these people are just looking to us for guidance. And not everyone is lucky enough to be well educated and informed in the subject of pregnancy. Let's set aside the negativity and start paying it forward.
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mylilprincesses
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2012 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

 i am sorry to inform you but... this site has alot of drama queens.. thats what happens when you get a bunch of women on one site there is bound to be drama.

kkps725
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree, however funds should not be an excuse. If you can't even afford one of those 88 cent tests from Walmart, or a dollar store, you probably should be rethinking whether or not you can financially support a child.
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Ty_Reann
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 1:04 PM
2 moms liked this

I'd hate to be the mean one, but it may come off that way. In regards to the frequent posts asking "could I be pregnant" & the many variations of that question: 

I think a lot of women, but I will speak just for myself, dislike those posts because not only are they rhetorical questions, but if someone has the means to access this site to ask that question, they have access to sex & pregnancy related information to help educate themselves. 

Just because this site & many others are meant for support, advice & information, doesn't mean anyone who is a member is remotely equipped to tell a person if they are or aren't pregnant. That is where the irritated comments NOT ignorance comes from. 

It is one thing to ask others opinions on a pregnancy test result, but to list off symptoms & shoot it to women asking if we think they are pregnant is pointless to me, which is why I tend not to open most of those posts. You will see comments ranging from "take a test" to "pee on the keyboard I will tell you in 3 mins". Could the last comment of the two be a little smart assed, absolutely, but when you see enough of those posts & try to be supportive & there is no mention of planning to even test or see a doctor to test, basically just wanting us to diagnose a pregnancy. You may find some women are just fed up. 

So though I completely agree that women could be nicer, I can't really understand the logic behind those posts either. 

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