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very defiant 2 year old!

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 11:49 AM
  • 20 Replies
My DD Mia turned 2 , april 13th. She was a wonderful baby! Slept from day one, ate well always happy. Then turned 2... she is beyond defiant! From day one of this behavio I have always tried to correct her naughty behavior. But the older she gets the worse she gets and the less affective any form of punishment is. Is constantly climbing and jumping on furniature ( only at our house ). She has fallen and been punished for this but still continues. She refuses to eat at the table or in a booster. She wants to eat where she wants to eat ( this is my husbands fault and I can't break it ) I've refused her food until she sits which eventually she does but then leaves the table with her plate. And I spend all of dinner chasing her and making her sit that I just give up. She used to be great when we would go out to eat , but now she sits for 2 seconds and wants out. If she doesn't get her way she screams yells cries you name it! I refuse to NOT take her anywhere because she needs to learn to behave in public ( but this is what always happens ) she's will sit in a stroller for a short period of time but eventually wants out which leaves me and my husband chasing her while trying to rangle the other two who are mad at this point because " sissy ruins everything ". I swear she looks for reasons to get in trouble all day every day ! I am exhausted!.. when I try to dicapline she tells me "nope" " your mean" spits at me, screams, runs away etc. I've done time outs, taken stuff away, spanked her butt ( which is pointless because when she doesn't listen she spanks her own butt now ).. you name it I've done it!! I don't know what to do anymore. I'm due in january and I'm terrified at how she will be with a new baby, and all the stress ill be under if I can't break this behavior. She listens to DH for the most part, but usually gives him the business like she does with me. I'm just so tired. From morning to night I am all about Mia because she doesn't. Leave time for anything else! Please, any advice would be great !
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by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 11:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
myrandabrown13
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:02 PM

bump

lj.smommy
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Ds is only a week younger than your dd. He was the same way though, perfect little baby now a nightmare. I've learned as long as we're home and I keep him engaged in some activity he's decent. Still not an angel buf I don't feel as if Im going to be bald by the end of the day. As gor taking out to eat, we rarely do that but when we did I just firmly told him big boys don't do that and it usually works until food gets there but if it took longer an app on my droid was my best friend to keep him entertained long enough. Same with the store. Hope this helps some.
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gacgbaker
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:07 PM

BUMP!

nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:11 PM
Yep sounds a lot like my daughter. I love her and she. Can be the sweetest. But when she's not being sweet, she's a nightmare!

Quoting lj.smommy:

Ds is only a week younger than your dd. He was the same way though, perfect little baby now a nightmare. I've learned as long as we're home and I keep him engaged in some activity he's decent. Still not an angel buf I don't feel as if Im going to be bald by the end of the day. As gor taking out to eat, we rarely do that but when we did I just firmly told him big boys don't do that and it usually works until food gets there but if it took longer an app on my droid was my best friend to keep him entertained long enough. Same with the store. Hope this helps some.
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LilSarahgirl
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:18 PM
I am in the same situation. My DS turned 2 in march and our 2nd is due in October. My DS wears me out daily. He's very stubborn and wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it!! We are also having trouble getting him to sleep well since he figured out how to open the child safely locks in his bedroom door. So you asked for advice and this is all I have.... Consistency, consistency, consistency. That's the best thing for my little man. My dh has to have the same rules and expectations as me. We cannot allow him to do things once and then the next time not allow it. So like when we go out, he always sits in his booster seat and can't get up and wander. If we let him wander or get under the table one time, then the next 15 outings are going to be a struggle. We also do our best to be super prepared. You know, sippy cup, extra juice, snack, extra snack, crayons, paper, toys, books, etc. and at home, as a previous poster mentioned it helps to keep him busy.

You may be doing these things already, but this is what helps us. I still am totally exhausted at the end of the day and I still have freak out moments but I'm learning to handle all the toddler behavior changes.
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jadsmummy
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Consistency in discipline is key. Do not give up or give in. She needs to know there are consequences and mommy and daddy are not pushovers or be able to manipulate them. Watch nanny 911.
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Marimaru
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:40 PM

Pull the high chair back out for meal times and buckle her in. It didn't take Isabelle to get the idea. Now I have a booster that has buckles, and if she's arguing about staying at the table, I warn her that I am going to buckle her and it usually stops, and if it doesn't, I buckle her in.

I honestly would quit taking her out for now until she's listening better at home. It's probably stressful on your whole family when she acts up, you mentioned that your other kids say she ruins everything. You could take turns taking your older kids out every now and then, one of you goes and one of you stays home with her, and she can be included when she is going to behave better.

vanityrayne
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Wow! I'm in the same boat! My DD turned 2 in June but has done this for a few months now. And I'm due with DD#2 Next month! Ugh. We have the kitchen table almost in a corner of the room so she is against the wall watching everything. We have benches so she leans back against the wall and it helps. But we will put a cartoon in and that solved our problem for meal times. She watches the cartoon and eats contently. I have apps on my iPhone so when we go out it helps but only for so long. Oh and she has a mini back pack! Get your DD a small backpack (mine has a Lil tinkerbell one) with her fav cartoon or something on it and tell her to go put some toys in it before you go out. My DD puts a tiny Lisa Frank notebook and a pen in it along with small toys like her "babies" they are beanie babies. Lol. It helps!! Good luck and I hope some of this works for you!
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XVAmom
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:47 PM
I know it sounds extreme but I seen the following methods work:

When at home:
1. if she has her own chair find a way to fix her plate to the table (without ruinning ur table) and see how she reacts to not being able to take her food elsewhere.
2. or, Announce that dinner will be serve in the table and those that would like to eat must do so on the table. If she grab her food and leaves grab her plate from her and take it to the table and say in this family we eat at the table. Do not chase her down and do not scream. Just put her plate back on the table and continue to eat from yours.

Outside.
1. tell her that if she can't behave she will be left behind on the next family outing. And do leave her with a sitter and let her know she isn't going with the rest of the fam because she choose to misbehave before.

2. Park your car near a restaurant window and when she starts getting difficult take her to the car and tell her she needs to sit down out on the car till you are done eating. Watch her from inside or from a safe distance. The parking lot guard or a policeman might also help watch her. Do roll down the windows, take the keys with you and lock her in...and do not leave her entirely by herself... you don't want ppl calling the police on you.

Good luck!
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nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:53 PM
I have 3 kids. We are consistant with all. As a human we do cave for sanity once and a while. But trust me when I say.. nanny 911 has nothing on my child! Lol

Quoting jadsmummy:

Consistency in discipline is key. Do not give up or give in. She needs to know there are consequences and mommy and daddy are not pushovers or be able to manipulate them. Watch nanny 911.
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