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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Baby shower etiquette?

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:23 PM
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3 moms liked this
So this baby shower etiquette has been talked about before I'm sure but to me it feels like it keeps changing.
A good friend of mine is throwing herself a baby shower...for her third child...of the same gender...in 3years...her other children are 3 & 1 and she is due in 3 months and fussing and stressing about all of this work she has to do to have this big shower...I honestly can't imagine a single thing she could possibly need ?!? This is her third daughter, and while I still think there is a great miracle to celebrate I wouldn't be going all out renting a ballroom etc and registering and hoping for gifts from people who have pretty much attended a baby shower for her practically every other year.
Gift grabby much?!? I was shocked that she was even having another shower.

How do you feel about people who throw their ow showers, let alone showers that are for subsequent children and of the same gender with practically no age gap?

I do understand wanting to celebrate each baby though...so idk...
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
orangeshirt
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:28 PM
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I will be throwing my own party this time and it'll be a gender reveal. This is my third child in five years, but my parenting style has changed a lot with each kid (I do a lot more babywearing, use cloth diapers, and stay at home so hands-on teaching is a priority). I've also learned about what I didn't need but got, and what I didn't get but need (like newborn cloth, a good wrap for the newb stage, a glider, etc.).

In my opinion, something huge is just an unnecessary expense. But, every pregnancy and birth ought to be celebrated individually.
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eykelley
by Liz on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:31 PM
10 moms liked this
Dh and I threw our own shower. We didn't have anyone who would throw it for us. We did it to get everyone together and celebrate the life we were expecting. We have a 5 yo ds and we had a dd. so 1) we had NOTHING for a girl at all. Lol and 2) we got rid of all our baby stuff a year ago cuz we thought we were done having babies. So we needed everything. We did register but only for the little stuff. We didn't have anything OVER $50 on there. :) we bought all the big stuff ourselves.
I think having a baby sprinkle shower or a diaper shower would be fine for her, u know for diapers or wipes. But, having a full on shower again, not sure I'd be ok with that. But, I would still attend. I had several ppl come to our shower and bring a small pack of diapers or nothing at all becuz of how tight money is for ppl. I was just thankful they came and celebrated w/ us. :D

Oh- and we spent under $120 on our shower. We knew if we spent more we might as well just not have a shower and buy all the stuff we might get for ourselves.
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JerseyAirGurl
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:32 PM
24 moms liked this
I think to each their own. Why judge or care if someone wants to throw their own shower or make it a big deal? If they aren't bothering you to help out then no biggie.
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Radellia
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:39 PM
Personally I think someone else should throw the shower, even if you are still involved in some of the planning...

I don't think it's so bad to throw one for additional children, even of the same gender. I think that if they are close together that maybe it should be a smaller occasion.

I'm not sure what the specific "etiquette" for baby showers is though...
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alliesaurus
by Bronze Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:43 PM
5 moms liked this
Quoting JerseyAirGurl:

I think to each their own. Why judge or care if someone wants to throw their own shower or make it a big deal? If they aren't bothering you to help out then no biggie.



Oh I'm not meaning to "judge" her or anyone.
I'm wondering what the etiquette on these things are now-a-days.
From what I understand it used to be that baby showers were a first time thing, unless the children were very spaced apart. her situation in particular is coming off gift grabby, to me. Like I said, understand wantin o celebrate each new life, but something smaller would have sufficed in my mind, I won't be attending.
Raeann11
by Platinum Member on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Whatever, like someone else said to each there own. We all have our own opinions and well apparently she feels differently then you. She can deal with it and whatever remarks she may or may not get.

JerseyAirGurl
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 1:05 PM
11 moms liked this
calling her gift grabby is judgmental. People will do what they feel is right for them when it comes to life and celebrating it. In my family we have baby showers for every child regardless of gender or age gap of children. Its up to the person and/host to determine how big it will be. We go big in my family because we want to and can.
If you don't celebrate the same way or don't want to attend that is all on you... no one is forcing you to do either.


Quoting alliesaurus:

Quoting JerseyAirGurl:

I think to each their own. Why judge or care if someone wants to throw their own shower or make it a big deal? If they aren't bothering you to help out then no biggie.





Oh I'm not meaning to "judge" her or anyone.

I'm wondering what the etiquette on these things are now-a-days.

From what I understand it used to be that baby showers were a first time thing, unless the children were very spaced apart. her situation in particular is coming off gift grabby, to me. Like I said, understand wantin o celebrate each new life, but something smaller would have sufficed in my mind, I won't be attending.
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AimeeJenee
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 1:13 PM
10 moms liked this

in our family we have baby showers for each child. the shower is for the child not the mom and even if you have had another baby before, even of the same sex there are still things that you will need. Its kind of like a first birthday party.

luvmidian
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 1:40 PM
3 moms liked this

I'm throwing my own baby shower but this is my second and my dd is 4 and I've moved a lot since then so I don't have any baby stuff anymore. I see it as a celebration for the child entering the world just like the birthday parties you have for your children every year to celebrate a year older why not celebrate when the child enters the world BUT I don't do the whole registry thing. I just let people decide if they want to bring a gift what they will bring so it makes them feel more comfortable and I probably wouldn't have one if I were in her situation with having a 1 year old already. she should have tons of baby stuff still I would think

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almondpigeon
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 1:43 PM
59 moms liked this

My personal opinion is that it's tacky.  If you want to have a party to "welcome the baby", that's one thing...but a baby "shower" implies that gifts are expected.  I had a baby shower for my 1st child....then 8+ years later had a shower for my 2nd.  Haven't had one since (working on baby#5).

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