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How to be a good little girl, per the hospital. I'm not a good girl. *** UPDATE

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UPDATED INFO FOR THOSE WHO HAVE MISREAD **** I never said I know more than my doctor.

I EXPECT informed consent to be a requirement before any procedure, just like any other thing you go to the hospital for. They tell you the options the ones they like, the ones they don't like, risks and benefits and I get to choose. THEY EDUCATE, I CHOOSE.

If anyone wants to go on faith and blindly accept anything they want, that is fine I won't stop you. That is your business. You get your choices, I get mine.

I might wear the stupid hospital gown, but I don't want to be bullied into it. I don't know what I will feel most comfortable in, until I get there. But it is really funny that some think  that bulling is ok in the hospital, but not in school's?

My dr wanted me to go in today to L&D to get an NST because he thinks I am 42 weeks, I think that I am 39 weeks. Late ultrasounds vs LMP. Did NST Thursday, Tues, Thursday, today on Sunday, and then have appt to go back on Tuesday. So we have done this for a while. I don't think they are really needed, I am just going along with some of his wishes. I have told him NO on induction. Just keeping the peace really going along with the NST's.

While at the hospital they give me a pamphlet on how to be a good patient.

Admission. Upon arrival to the childbirth suite you will be INSTRUCTED to change into a hospital gown ... A vaginal exam will be done to see if your cervix is ready for the baby to come.
It says not to worry we are assessing your baby continuously. IE STAY IN BED WITH THE NST MONITORS ON AT ALL TIMES.

You are staying to deliver your baby. IV fluids WILL BE STARTED in your hand or arm. This will help in the prevention of dehydration and/or low blood sugar.

Can I eat or drink? While you are in active labor most physicians WILL ONLY ALLOW clear liquids and ice.

Vaginal Delivery. When your cervix if fully dilated you WILL BE INSTRUCTED to start pushing....If the baby appears healthy and is breathing well, he may be placed on your stomach.

I was asked if I had any instructions for the nursery. I said I didn't plan on my child going to the nursery. THE BABY CAN'T BE IN YOUR ROOM UNLESS SOMEONE IS AWAKE is what I was told. Hubby said I will be here and be awake if she isn't.

I think me being comfortable, wearing what I want because I am not sick, being able to move is going to do more to progress my labor than you hooking me to a useless machine for the duration. Laying on my back in pain not moving isn't going to fly. You might get 20 mins. Might. I sure am not allowing you to start a non medically needed IV, I am giving birth I am not SICK. I will prevent dehydration and low blood sugar the old fashioned way. And I am pretty sure I will know when I need to push. Why do you believe that my cervix is just yours to grope as you please? I mean really the baby is going to come regardless if you check or not. PS you have no rights over my child and where he will be. He needs to come to me immediately. You don't get to tell me how soon I can see him or when I get to have him in my room. He is MINE. He will be with a parent at all times. (he has an umbilical cord and if anything is wrong, you need to leave it intact to allow you time to work on him vs detaching him from his built in life support)

It is silly in this day and age that hospitals think they get to dictate your birth. They use words to make it sound like you have no options. I didn't bother addressing any of this today. No need to start issues early. But Hubby is like wait a min who do they think they are. You can ask, you can suggest, you don't get to demand. Too bad home births are not legal in my state. But after today, Hubby FULLY understands why you would not want to get to the hospital early.

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:15 PM
Replies (551-560):
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:13 PM

Wow it would be a nightmare with my hubby and those doctors lol! You show them momma dont let them control you they are crazy!! ;)

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:26 PM

There is no evidence that gowns, IV's, not allowing food, and cfm improves outcomes.

My doctor even agrees with me about these things. Most women care when they find out that they didn't have to do whatever they got bullyed into and then had a poor outcome. They feel robbed. They were robbed really. There is a time for emergency intervention. But it is not at the level that hospitals and doctors are taking it to. So many women have never attended a birth until they give birth. They don't know what to expect. They don't know some doctors and hospitals will get informed consent, some just do whatever they want. Doctors rarely if ever see a natural birth anymore, further exasterbating the issue.

Also many doctors seem trustworthy, they say all the right things. Then they do whatever they want in the moment and justify it later if questioned. Women have trusted their doctor and didn't educate themselves to know any better when things started to go south. Their doctor abused their trust and did what he or she wanted and was home by dinner time.

Quoting MsDenuninani:

I agree with your point about evidence-based practices. 

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:53 PM

CNM's have to work under an OB out of his office and deliever at his hospital. There is no OB in this state that will allow his midwife to attend a home birth. NC medical board put a stop to CNM doing homebirths back in July. I never could find out the specifics. But many dr's offices were having to take women well into their pregnancies that had planed on home births that they could no longer get legally.

You would have to find an illegal midwife and have to pay her. Insurance won't pay for me. So I don't have that option.

If I throw up I throw up. Dry heaves are far worse than throwing up. Then that avoids me getting tired in a long labor or dehydrated. This stuff is standard in Holland and other countries with better birth outcomes. Women there only get hospitals or IVs when they are high risk and that is only like 15 % of them. Also I am already walking around with swollen ankles with a estimited 9 lb baby. I don't want anything that is going to make him any larger artificially or swell my ankles anymore.

Quoting Jenn820:

Actually, I think that you've been misinformed about home births. If you can hire a certified nurse midwife (vs a certified professional midwife) legally in all 50
States for a home just have to find one.
I'm of tat if you don't like how your hospital does things than find a different place to deliver your baby. I don't particularly like being told what to do but most of those policies are there or a reason. They don't want you to eat or drink because labor can be rough on your stomach and you can end up throwing up and they often start the IV to keep you from getting dehydrated.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:54 PM
All I could ever find out about that NC situate was that there was one single OB overseeing CNMs in the state, and they revoked his license for reasons unknown. He didn't even know, as far as I can tell, that anything was coming until a week or two before it happened. Not only did all the CNM patients have to be transferred, but his regular patients as well. It stinks of a witch hunt, in my opinion (guess I better put that disclaimer on the end lest some other poster feel that I'm suddenly giving some expert investigative decision).
Quoting gumeshoe:

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:07 PM

Yeah, I decided you really were not worth the effort it took to respond :)

Quoting Sharkgirl7:

is there a reason why you quoted me but then didn't reply??

Quoting jaylonsmommy26:

Quoting Sharkgirl7:

I'm sorry that you are uneducated on this issue =(

Quoting jaylonsmommy26:

They have a reason for doing things  that way. That have been to school for years for this, they know what they are doing. It may seem they are being pushy, but every step they take is a protective measure for your child. If you can't trust them, you need to find another hospital or you will have a miserable birth.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I mentioned not medically needed practice when I said: I sure am not allowing you to start a non medically needed IV. I am sorry you did not understand that I am wondering in this day and age why such demands are still being made to birthing women.

Lousiannalady has posted many times in the Pregnancy group with many links, I always check her links. I have learned a lot from her. This isn't the first conversation I have been involved in that she was involved in. We had a laugh the other day about what I need to print out about non evidence based medicine links she had provided a long time ago, I had them book marked for later usage. I have learned a lot from her. I have seen enough non evidence based medicine in my lifetime that, I knew it existed a long time ago. Which is why I have read everything I can here and other pregnancy blogs the last 8 months. My husband knows more about birth than he ever wanted to. I would tell him something new everyday. I would find some topic that was crazy and google it to get more sides of the story. I have worked my butt off studing the last 8 months. I have read books from Ina Mae, Odent, Dr. Oz, the Bradley book, Pushed. Pushed has a great story about non evidence based medicine about a hospital in FL that never gets hit by hurricanes, then it happened. So they had to do everything the manual way. If you aren't in active labor go home. Machines where a minimum, only true emergency csections happened that week. There nurses found out you don't need all that crap to birth babies. Problem was when the power came back on the administration wanted to go back to all the machines and billable procedures. All those nurses quit because they saw what birth could be. They didn't want to go back to all the billbable procedures because it wasn't best. They couldn't stay and keep doing those unneeded procedures because it weighed on their hearts. I am not just parrotting back what someone else said. It is what I already knew, I didn't have the details. I have spent the last 8 months getting those details from here, the internet, books, movies, anywhere I could find it.

I am grown up. That is why I did all this research on a topic that I was not familar with, thru as many channels as I could find. It was a good thing that I went to that NST. It helped me understand their expectations. Which helps me be prepaired and have the appropriate printouts from ACOG and other links on hand as needed.

The pamphlet isn't written as a guideline. It doesn't list options. It is written as this is the way it is. I have never seen a pamphlet with that kind of demanding wording. But it is nice that you didn't curse, even tho you can't stop yourself from name calling, really who is the 4th grader? PS to whoever reported Jaybo for her cursing at me to get her posts removed, that was very sweet of you, made me giggle. I was wondering why the post count went down then I figured it out.

When are you going to grow up and stop name calling and stop making up stuff? I doubt you will.

I for one and thankful that Louisannalady and Doulala have posted so many informative posts and links over the months. I know other people have, It is just that these 2 have posted FAR MORE links than anyone else. I have never heard either of these ladies give bad advice. And they always advocate to learn more here is 3 links. Lots of those links had much more info or blogs with further info on other situations. I am fortunate that they have been here to help educate myself and many other women to be educated birth consumers.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:29 PM
2 moms liked this

Honestly it is true. I knew nothing bout birthing babies

Quoting :
I have cried reading this! I have been AMAZED at all the information you have shared with the women here and how well you have handled yourself in this post! :  ) You have really, really made my day- heck my WHOLE MONTH- with this response! I can't believe I was put in the same sentence as Doulala! Is my mentor, I have learned so much about love and tolerance from her! : ) Thank you for this! : *)

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm with you on not wanting to be induced...I was induced with my first child and had a 4-day labor.  In addition to this  the nurses were really mean, I wasn't allowed to move because I was strapped to a monitor...well it was just a big disaster.  Good for you, stand up for yourself, have your hubby be your advocate.  It's your birth.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:35 PM

Hmmmm, and they are the ones getting paid.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:37 PM

If you don't want the hospital ride, don't buy the ticket.  Homebirths and birth center births are on the rise!

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