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Pregnancy Pregnancy

How soon is too soon to ask for a tour of maternity ward?

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM
  • 15 Replies
I have read over the rules for visitation, etc for labor and delivery.... I am having a high-risk c section so it drastically cuts my choices of where I can deliver... not to mention my OB only delivers high risk at Childrens... but I have heard some horror stories about the l&d nursing staff (bullying moms in to using the nursery, etc) and I'm not liking the 'hubby has to leave at 11pm and can't come back till 8am" rule... I don't want to be there alone and there is a rule about baby has to go to nursery if I'm asleep but we wanted her to be with us at ALL times so I'm going to have to stay awake from 11pm to 8am to ensure she isn't taken away? This sucks! Who do I talk to about this and just how adamant can I get before I looking like Momzilla? This is almost a dealbreaker for me to want to use childrens for delivery but I don't think I have much choice. :(
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by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
louzannalady
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this

They cannot take your child, unless you consent to it. Sleep with her on your chest and tell anyone who tries to take her to go away or gives you any grief that you are calling their boss. It doesn't matter what they think of you- you have the right to be with your child 100% of the time- unless there is an emergency- which is incredibly rare. Sometimes, you have to fight for your child's rights.

Nolanzo
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Oh I am fully prepared to fight this nursery nonsense! I also just saw in the rules that the baby will be taken to the nursery for up to four hours after the c section is over.. so can I insist that her dad stays with her in the nursery the entire time? I will have my aunt with me too.. hopefully she can stay with me in recovery while daddy stays with baby? I just don't know... I'm getting nervous and I know I should relax but during ds birth I was so young and totally let them take control when I shouldn't have.... I had a horrible hospital experience as a result. With the high risk factor this time I'm just on edge and REALLLLY not happy that DH has to apparently leave for the night. I'm really upset about that. Why shouls he have to miss out on a good chunk of her first 72 odd hours? Doesn't seem fair.
GOOD idea about sleeping with her on my chest.. as long as my stomach is not killing me I plan to do just that! Thank you.


Quoting louzannalady:

They cannot take your child, unless you consent to it. Sleep with her on your chest and tell anyone who tries to take her to go away or you are calling their boss. It doesn't matter what they think of you- you have the right to be with your child 100% of the time- unless there is an emergency- which is incredibly rare. Sometimes, you have to fight for your child's rights.


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RhondaVeggie
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:31 PM
I wouldn't sleep with her in bed with you. You will be loopy on meds after surgery and it isn't safe to cosleep when you are impaired like that.
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thatsme24
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:44 PM

They won't let dad stay IN the nursery with baby because it poses a risk to the other newborns but maybe they'll let him watch through the window? Does the hospital provide private rooms? The hospital I'm delivering at also kicks dads out at 10pm and allows them back at 5:30 unless you have a private room or a public room with no roommate, then dad can stay in the hospital the entire time. I've never heard of any hospital forcing you to put your baby in the nursery though. Mine encourages rooming in and moms have the OPTION of putting baby in the nursery if you request it for some rest. 

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louzannalady
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:00 PM

Make sure you bring your Boppy pillow! That thing is a lifesaver! *hug* I am so sorry what is going on. Fight that four hour seperation hard! That can have a very negative impact on your nursing relationship, if you nurse. And there is not a SINGLE test- measurements, weight, APGAR, etc, that they have to do anywhere except your room! 

Quoting Nolanzo:

Oh I am fully prepared to fight this nursery nonsense! I also just saw in the rules that the baby will be taken to the nursery for up to four hours after the c section is over.. so can I insist that her dad stays with her in the nursery the entire time? I will have my aunt with me too.. hopefully she can stay with me in recovery while daddy stays with baby? I just don't know... I'm getting nervous and I know I should relax but during ds birth I was so young and totally let them take control when I shouldn't have.... I had a horrible hospital experience as a result. With the high risk factor this time I'm just on edge and REALLLLY not happy that DH has to apparently leave for the night. I'm really upset about that. Why shouls he have to miss out on a good chunk of her first 72 odd hours? Doesn't seem fair.
GOOD idea about sleeping with her on my chest.. as long as my stomach is not killing me I plan to do just that! Thank you.


Quoting louzannalady:

They cannot take your child, unless you consent to it. Sleep with her on your chest and tell anyone who tries to take her to go away or you are calling their boss. It doesn't matter what they think of you- you have the right to be with your child 100% of the time- unless there is an emergency- which is incredibly rare. Sometimes, you have to fight for your child's rights.



misstaylor85
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:04 PM

 O wow, I am sorry to hear that :( That really sucks you can't just go to a different hospital. And I would have a panic attack if I was forced to stay in the hospital alone without my husband there. I have no advice for you as I have never really looked into the laws (stupid yes, I will now) I can only hope that you have no issues and get a great nursing staff and have the birthing experience we all want and deserve.

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:05 PM
I had my second csection in june. In recovery I was alone but the hospital insisted dh go with baby to the nursery. I was in the recoverly area for about 30min before they took me back to my room.

Baby didn't leave my side unless it was for the peds to check her and weigh her. I told them she is to stay with me. I slept with her in bed with me. They allowed visiters 8am-8pm but 1person was allowed to stay with you all night.

When I had DS 4yrs ago they only took him to the nursery for checks unless I gave the ok for longer and they brought him to me as soon as I asked.
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Firenygirl180
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:08 PM

At my hospital DF was allowed to follow baby to the nursery and they sent him back to the room when I first woke up and brought DS in maybe 5-10 minutes after that.  He was also allowed to stay the whole time I was at the hospital.

I would be livid if they said baby couldn't stay in the room with me when i wanted him there.  Trust me though you may want a little break especially if they refuse to let your husband stay all night.   I had DS with me, but I let them take him to the nursery between feedings so I could nap a little.  

I would ask if you could go on a tour and talk about their policies and find out why they are the way they are. 

Stephanie116
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:32 PM
That's crazy that the father can't stay the night. I've never heard of this. I've delivered in three different hospitals and always had someone stay with me. They just had to be checked in at registration and have a pass.
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Larsbug
by Laura on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:38 PM

 they have to have your consent to take your child from you...and the rule for hubby is the stupidest thing I have EVER heard! What makes you high risk c/s that it would mean having to deliver at Children's? What state are you in? look up some laws.

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