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Pregnancy Pregnancy

father is still married!!!

Posted by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM
  • 54 Replies
So I am 31 weeks and father of the child and I have been arguing because he wants to be on the birth certificate but I do not want him to be until he has a divorce from his wife they have been split for awhile now and he has been living with me but her and him could not have children together so I am afraid he's going to try and take my child and run to her so to speak. I am divorced from my ex husband I mean if I was still married he would think the same thing but he thinks its all fine and dandy that he's still married I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of arguing
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by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MIA0223
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:40 PM
7 moms liked this
He is the father, I don't see why he shouldn't be on the BC.
You chose to have a child with a married man.
This child is not a pawn, not a posession of yours. Not something to dangle over his head to get your way.
He is the father, lose the drama and add him on the BC!
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Laulaulu321
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:42 PM
2 moms liked this
If that happens he can't because they can't take a child away from a mother unless she's proven to be unfit
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mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this
For one thing I'm not using my child as a pawn to get my way that was rude and very inconciderate. I was asking for advice not some rude way of calling me a b*tch


Quoting MIA0223:

He is the father, I don't see why he shouldn't be on the BC.

You chose to have a child with a married man.

This child is not a pawn, not a posession of yours. Not something to dangle over his head to get your way.

He is the father, lose the drama and add him on the BC!

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nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Well in my state, it doesn't matter if the father signs the BC, because he legally has no rights to the child if you are not married. Child support and custody/visitation are separate cases handled in court... so if that applies in your state, then he legally can be charged with kidnapping since there is no custody arrangment.. so he wouldn't be able to run off with your child. And just because he signs the BC doesn't mean you have to give baby his last name. If he wants to live with the embaressment of having a baby while still married then let him..
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Dee0886
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Comes with the territory of being in a relationship with a married man. I don't blame you for wanting him to get the divorce. That's a given when he's living with a woman he got pregnant and NOT his wife. It's a little fishy, but he's the father and shouldn't be denied the right to be acknowledged as such on the bc. Don't worry about them trying to take the baby, there no way they can do it unless they prove you unfit. A judge will see right through that.

Oceana09
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:46 PM

At least you're being smart about it. The man who got me pregnant has been off and on with his wife for the past 2 years and he told me he was done with her, I got pregnant come to find out they have NEVER been off. He NEVER once left her. I got duped and played and then he expected me to "Get rid of it" because then she would find out what kind of scum bag he was. What gets me, is she stayed with him. I don't get it.

mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:47 PM
I am in no way unfit I have a roof over my head and income if anything he is unfit because he is legally homeless and soes not work or have a job or means of transportation but I amjust worried about him trying I don't want to lose my child to someone that can not provide for her. Sorry I'm venting not trying to be rude thank you for your response !


Quoting Laulaulu321:

If that happens he can't because they can't take a child away from a mother unless she's proven to be unfit

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Oceana09
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:49 PM

Depending on what state you live in, you can put whatever last name you wish on the birth certificate. I'm choosing to put my maiden name down (I technically am still married. DH and I have been separated for 3 years and he rufuses to agree to anything on the stupid divorce papers) becuase his father hasn't wanted anything to do with him so WHY would I want to give him his last name?

Quoting mommieof3_91:

For one thing I'm not using my child as a pawn to get my way that was rude and very inconciderate. I was asking for advice not some rude way of calling me a b*tch


Quoting MIA0223:

He is the father, I don't see why he shouldn't be on the BC.

You chose to have a child with a married man.

This child is not a pawn, not a posession of yours. Not something to dangle over his head to get your way.

He is the father, lose the drama and add him on the BC!


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mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:50 PM
I am in sc which I have been told is a huge mom state and if I would have been married then my legal husband would have to be on the BC I'm just scared as all get out


Quoting nikkifam5:

Well in my state, it doesn't matter if the father signs the BC, because he legally has no rights to the child if you are not married. Child support and custody/visitation are separate cases handled in court... so if that applies in your state, then he legally can be charged with kidnapping since there is no custody arrangment.. so he wouldn't be able to run off with your child. And just because he signs the BC doesn't mean you have to give baby his last name. If he wants to live with the embaressment of having a baby while still married then let him..

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MIA0223
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:50 PM
4 moms liked this
You got advice.
That's my honest advice.
You are using this innocent baby to get what you want.
He is the father isn't he? Why would you not put him as the father.
You knew he was married when you decided to make this baby. Now suddenly that's an issue?
He is the dad, you are wrong to exclude him. Him being married is no reason.


Quoting mommieof3_91:

For one thing I'm not using my child as a pawn to get my way that was rude and very inconciderate. I was asking for advice not some rude way of calling me a b*tch




Quoting MIA0223:

He is the father, I don't see why he shouldn't be on the BC.


You chose to have a child with a married man.


This child is not a pawn, not a posession of yours. Not something to dangle over his head to get your way.


He is the father, lose the drama and add him on the BC!


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