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Pregnancy Pregnancy

father is still married!!!

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So I am 31 weeks and father of the child and I have been arguing because he wants to be on the birth certificate but I do not want him to be until he has a divorce from his wife they have been split for awhile now and he has been living with me but her and him could not have children together so I am afraid he's going to try and take my child and run to her so to speak. I am divorced from my ex husband I mean if I was still married he would think the same thing but he thinks its all fine and dandy that he's still married I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of arguing
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by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Replies (21-30):
sparklebug86
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:09 PM

yes! He isnt going to buy the cow if you are giving the milk away for free!

Quoting Chellie13:

The problem is:  you need to kick him out.  Why is he living with you?  He can move in when you got the wedding band on your finger, IMO.

Good luck!


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mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:10 PM
She doesn't feel she should file for divorce since he is the one that is wanting to move on she has told him she does not plan on divorcing him ever and he will have to deal with it and he is living with me because yes he is homeless and I do have a soft spot for that and can not help it


Quoting nikkifam5:

You can do whatever you want when it comes to the BC and not being married. And he is still able to sign it even though he is married..but, if you feel he is unsafe or his wife is unsafe and you have some kind of proof of that, you can request supervised visitation and he won't be aloud to bring the baby around his wife. Which I can't imagine her being to pleased anyway about the situation? So why if she is not wanting to be with him, hasn't she filed for the divorce?

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mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:11 PM
I do not want child support due to his family and him not wanting to claim my child


Quoting sparklebug86:

if you dont put him on the certificate, most judges wont award child support, just something to consider


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MommyO2-6631
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:13 PM
I would leave him off too. I regret every single day putting my ex bf's name on my sons birth certificate. It has done nothing but cause everyone drama. And he doesn't want to see him and he refuses to pay child support so i'm just stuck doing whatever to please the courts about our visitation schedule... and i have to deal with my sons grandparents instead of my ex cuz he doesn't want to see him. They never bathe him, make him brush his teeth, they wipe his butt still even though he's 7.... just a bunch of baloney! I have to send him there every weekend.
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NatyRod
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:13 PM
I think is the child's right to have his father be present in his/her BC... Any other matter after that is under ur discretion and could be handled separately, like some other moms said, depending on ur state laws.
sparklebug86
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:13 PM

if he and his family are already causing problems, why would you stay with him? Thats a big red flag!

Quoting mommieof3_91:

I do not want child support due to his family and him not wanting to claim my child


Quoting sparklebug86:

if you dont put him on the certificate, most judges wont award child support, just something to consider



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Devious103102
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:13 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it's wrong of you 1-to have gotten into a relationship with a married man to begin with and 2-to keep him off of the birth cirtificate to hold over his head and make him do what you want him to do.   The ONLY reason someone should be left off the BC, NO MATTER THE SITUATION, is if they are NOT the father. 

Oceana09
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:14 PM

Yea,  my baby's dad has pulled the same thing with the "it's not mine" and him and his wife havn't said a word to anyone. I told him that his oldest son (who just turned 15) isn't going to like the fact that he was lied to for 9 months because if he thinks for one minute that I'm not going to go after child support once I PROVE it's his, he's crazy.

Quoting mommieof3_91:

Exactly he told me his divorce was already in order and now to find out it hasn't even been started yet and I'm in my last trimester he's told his family he don't think its his even and has pushed me down stairs I still have pictures of the marks to prove it


Quoting Oceana09:

Not that I'm aware of. They told me I could leave the daddy part blank and later add it in if he decides to actually take an active roll. But if htat's the case then I figure he can pay for it, since he is the one being such an ass about it. Why should my baby have to suffer because he lied to alot of people and just wants to cover it up.


Quoting mommieof3_91:

I can give the baby my last name I know for sure but I'm not sure if he can legally be on it or not since he is still married





Quoting Oceana09:

Depending on what state you live in, you can put whatever last name you wish on the birth certificate. I'm choosing to put my maiden name down (I technically am still married. DH and I have been separated for 3 years and he rufuses to agree to anything on the stupid divorce papers) becuase his father hasn't wanted anything to do with him so WHY would I want to give him his last name?

Quoting mommieof3_91:

For one thing I'm not using my child as a pawn to get my way that was rude and very inconciderate. I was asking for advice not some rude way of calling me a b*tch








Quoting MIA0223:

He is the father, I don't see why he shouldn't be on the BC.



You chose to have a child with a married man.



This child is not a pawn, not a posession of yours. Not something to dangle over his head to get your way.



He is the father, lose the drama and add him on the BC!









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mommieof3_91
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:15 PM
it was just a thought ladys sorry
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Oceana09
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:20 PM

No. You shouldn't have to apologize. This site was originally made for mothers to come and ask questions and from all I have seen since I have been a member is nothing but bickering, arguing, backstabbing, and bitchiness. You actually post a question and you either get bitchy replies or no replies at all because it's not juicy enough for their liking. If you need anything PM me. Like I said, I'm pretty much in the same boat except for that he was never living with me.

Quoting mommieof3_91:

it was just a thought ladys sorry


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