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Have your priorities changed since you found out you were expecting?

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:19 PM
  • 7 Replies

I've just started my second trimester, and this is my first baby.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I found I that my priorities shifted.  For one thing, I wanted to reduce my stress, so I dropped out of college, feeling no guilt about that at all.  The baby's dad has his doctorate, so there's already plenty of education to spread around!  I also have become more assertive, and less willing to put up with any crap from anyone in my life. 

Most notably, I don't care if I'm in a relationship or not anymore.  Both the baby's dad and my last boyfriend want to be in a relationship with me, and I could hardly care less, which sounds awful!  Maybe if I were under the age of 30, I would care more.  I will have an ongoing relationship, of some kind, with the baby's dad, just because he's the baby's dad, and my baby deserves to have him in his/her life.  I don't know if I want to be attached in other ways to him, however.  I need some more time to think on it. 

My last boyfriend doesn't care if I'm pregnant with someone else's child and claims he still loves me and can't stand to have me gone from his life.  I don't really care what he thinks anymore.  I've told him I only want him as a friend, but he's not hearing me.  So I'm just not communicating with him now.

My priority is my baby, and what will be best for him/her.  I've yet to hear (even from the baby's dad) that the baby is a priority for him. 

Maybe this is the plight of being a single mother, but there is no way that I'm going to have a bunch (or even two) different men in my life wanting my attention when I have a child.   Or maybe I am making a mistake by not recognizing my own needs as well.  I'm not sure.  But I do know that the mother bear in me has woken up! 

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:19 PM
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by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:38 PM
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Oh yes they have. All I think about now is how every decision hubby and I make will affect our unborn child be it now or in the future and if there's a negative affect or even a gray area then it's not going to happen end of story.

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:45 PM

yes with my first, it was all about my baby!

With my second, it was mixed emotions because hubby wasnt happy and our son was only 7months

With this one, I havent told hubby yet and frankly nothing has changed for me. I wont get into the dr for another month so i guess it hasnt sunk in for me yet. 

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:52 PM
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Not really. My education is still my top priority, but then, I also don't have the option of dropping out, even if I wanted to. This wasn't a planned or wanted pregnancy, and while my life is going to change, I won't let it change that much, I still have things I want to do and will do, and education and working is at the top of the list.
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by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:07 PM
Yep, my babies have definately changed how i look at things
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:30 AM

I would say yes it has. I just got of a long term relationship in May and was completely heartbroken it was a shock. I started dating someone in July I ended up pregnant so here I am.  He is a great person and will be a great dad we are together but my focus isn't us its the baby and what I need to do for it. If after the baby comes and I don't see a future with him then we will co parent and continue on with our lives.  I think everything happens for a reason so I see this as nothing but a good thing.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:27 PM

I stopped putting up with my dad's BS and cut him out of my life.  It's one thing for him to treat ME the way he does, but he does NOT get to do that in front of my son, or make my son feel the way he makes me feel.  It breaks my heart, but I have zero regrets.  NO ONE gets to mess with my kid!!  Like you, I put up with a lot less from people.

My GPA also shot up once I became a parent.  It's not just me affected by my education now- I have to do well for HIM.

I'm not the nomad I used to be.  I want consistency and stability in his life, and we have stayed close to the grandparents for his sake.  Otherwise I would have left this town years ago.

I've become more health conscious, regarding myself and him.  I've lost over 100 lbs, and I encourage him to exercise with me, and teach him about food.  I hope he never struggles with his weight like I always have, and I want to prevent that if possible.


"Don't sacrifice what you want most for what you want right now."

by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Interesting. Sounds like your priorities have changed for the worse.

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