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holiday akwardness ! help!

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:58 PM
  • 16 Replies
So , for the second year in a row I am hosting Thanksgiving. It will be my MIL, FIL , friend from out of state, mom and ...my brother in law and his GF... now let me fill you in on my brother in law.. he is the older brother ( 32 , DH is 30 ).. he hasn't held a steady job for more then 9 months since he was 18 ( due to anxiety and panic disorder , but when it comes to having no responsibility he's FINE ).. lived with his parents up until this past august ( had never lived on his own ).. my DH owns his own business and has hired and fired his brother on multiple occasions. He only hires him when my inlaw ask him to. Because , you see, they pay his bills when he needs it instead of making him be a big boy.. he recently had an anxiety episode and didn't show to work for 3 days ( oh but magically we found out he was out with his GF and totally fine ) anyway he pretty much quit and is losing his apartment next month.. but doesn't bother him b/c mommy and daddy will pay his bills..mind you a few years ago we almost lost our house b/c business was slow and they offered us no help..( BTW we are doing exceptionally well now :) )... anyway, his GF... she's ten years younger then he is..has an 18 month old...has a foul a** mouth..doesn't work ( b/c she lives at home with her mom and dad and is a "sahm".. ) her parents said they will pay for her living expenc as long as she takes college classes ( she take 2 online a week that my BIL pretty much does for her )..she is obsessed with her baby daddy drama and his other 3 baby mamas..she puts all her business on FB..and is a complete know it all with NO filter....ANYWAY! She doesn't like me or DH OR my inlaws b/c we don't " talk to her and we are fake " ( that's b/c she is literally GLUED to her phone and doesn't interact ..her life is FB and her friends. While her DD runs around and my BIL chases her )... anyway BIL has been ignoring our texts and calls since he "quit".. and now he just texts me and says " can Saras dad come to thanksgiving?..her mom and other fam have an out of state emergency and we don't want to leave him alone"... my inital thought " tell your GF to stay home with her dad ( they've only been together since Feb and she makes no effort to be a part of this fam ) but if I don't say yes them my BIL won't come b/c he cares more about himself and who he's dating at the time then about his family. ( my DH is the one who always does stuff for his parents and his brother can't even mow the lawn for his 64 and 70 yr old parents )..anyway this is akward to me... do I say yes , sure come on over?? Or do I say no akward !...????? I have a big heart and can't say no..but I can't stand her !!
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 4:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TTC2Long
by Gold Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd say yes. I wouldn't like it, but I'd be the bigger person. You never know - bil might marry her. No need to give her ammo, ya know?
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Momma2013
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:04 PM

Whose texting you? Does he really exist in texts if it's only when he needs something? I'd just blow off the text request or make dh handle it. I'm a b***h and don't care if I offend someone especially when they just take advantage of EVERYONE!

nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:10 PM
This was my inital thought....

Quoting TTC2Long:

I'd say yes. I wouldn't like it, but I'd be the bigger person. You never know - bil might marry her. No need to give her ammo, ya know?
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nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:13 PM
And this is what my MIL said to do. I called for her input. She told me to ignore him , and if he texts again then say okay that its fine.. then she offered to have thanksgiving at her house ( which would be fine but her oven is broke so id have to cook and bring it all there , and with 3 kids and 8 1/2 months prego I'm not in the mood for that ) b/c she knows BIL won't ask her that... uuggghh I'm gonna have to suck it up I know it !..I just hate entertaining people I don't know! Esspecially since I've heard her parents are just like her !

Quoting Momma2013:

Whose texting you? Does he really exist in texts if it's only when he needs something? I'd just blow off the text request or make dh handle it. I'm a b***h and don't care if I offend someone especially when they just take advantage of EVERYONE!

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victoriahearts
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:24 PM

It's akward but you seem like the bigger person so I would say yes to keep the peace.

lulu_tattoos
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:28 PM
I would say no, due to the fact that it would be awkward for EVERYONE THERE and suggest they should spend the holiday with him, so he won't be alone.
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MommyO2-6631
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:35 PM
I would let dh handle it. But i would let him know that i would be extremely uncomfortable having his gf there let alone his gf's dad who i've never met! But that it would be his decision so that the inlaws wouldn't be mad at me if bil didn't show up.
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nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:43 PM
Well usually I am the mediator when it comes to DH and BIL.. they get along but its a very love hate relationship..DH told me to tell him whatever I want..MIL says to ignore him until he asks again then say yes... ugh I'm just going to end up saying yes I know it.. damn it !

Quoting MommyO2-6631:

I would let dh handle it. But i would let him know that i would be extremely uncomfortable having his gf there let alone his gf's dad who i've never met! But that it would be his decision so that the inlaws wouldn't be mad at me if bil didn't show up.
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MommyAddie
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:47 PM
I'd say yes, but that's just me. Not so much for her, but it's just a nice thing to do for a person. Her dad probably won't sit on fb and ignore you all evening.
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nikkifam5
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:51 PM
I know I'm going to end up saying yes. B/c I can't stand the thought of someone being alone. I just get so akward when I have to entertain people I don't know :/

Quoting MommyAddie:

I'd say yes, but that's just me. Not so much for her, but it's just a nice thing to do for a person. Her dad probably won't sit on fb and ignore you all evening.
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