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Were you disappointed after finding out the sex of your baby?

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:11 AM
  • 36 Replies

Mom Pregnant With Twin Boys Kills Herself Because She Wanted a Girl

Posted by Mary Fischer on November 20, 2012 

pregnantIf you have your heart set on having a baby boy or baby girl when you become pregnant, it can be a little bit of a letdown when you find out you aren't going to be blessed with the sex you'd hoped for. But one mom in Ireland tragically let her devastation get the best of her.

When 35-year-old Anna Byrne learned that she was pregnant with twin boys, she ultimately jumped from a cliff to her death presumably because she wanted a baby girl so badly and just couldn't bear the thought of not having a daughter. (Saddest. Story. Ever.)

You see, Anna was already a mom to two sons, so when she became pregnant again, she hoped her dream of having a little girl was finally going to come true. She found out at 20 weeks that she was indeed, going to be a mom to twin boys, and just six days before her death, she told her psychiatrist that she was "devastated" over the news, and that she "felt a part of her life was missing" without a daughter. She also mentioned feeling "not maternal."

Anna had a history of depression, and was switched to a different anti-depressant when she became pregnant with the twins. Based on the comments she made to her psychiatrist, it's obvious that she was having a hard time coming to terms with the idea of being a mom to four boys. But he still deemed her "low-risk" because she did not show any signs of being suicidal.

I guess the comments she made about her mood prior to her death weren't enough to predict that she would go to such extremes as to take not only her own life, but the lives of her unborn twins as well.

Making things even sadder is that the last time she spoke to her husband on the phone, nothing appeared to be wrong. He reports that they said they loved each other, and then she said, "I'll see ya later."

Later obviously never came, as she was found dead at the bottom of a cliff. Her lifeless body was there for 8 to 10 hours before she was found by police. The incident occurred on March 8th, and she was scheduled to deliver her baby boys via c-section just 21 days later.

OMG. Isn't this one of the most awful things you've ever heard? This poor woman must have felt so helpless, and I can't even begin to imagine what was going through her mind in those few moments before she leaped off that cliff. If only someone had realized just how poorly she was coping with the realization that she may never have a girl, maybe this horrible tragedy could've been prevented.

I won't lie, when I had my 20 week ultrasound appointment and was told I was having a boy instead of a girl, my heart sank a little. I guess I had always dreamed of having a little mini-me, and didn't even really entertain the possibility of having a boy. But after the initial shock wore off, I came to terms with the idea of being a "boy mom," and really started to embrace the idea of having a sweet little man to raise.

The disappointment factor is definitely natural and plenty of moms experience it, but in this woman's case, I think things stemmed way beyon simply being bummed out.

I have the deepest sympathy for this poor father and Anna's other two sons, who lost not a wife and mother, but also two children and siblings who they were a mere days away from welcoming into their family. (How can something like this happen?)

Were you disappointed after finding out the sex of your baby?

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Such a tragic story. We were hoping for a boy and I was a little disappointed for maybe an hour after we found out we were having another girl, but now that she's here I wouldn't trade her for anything!!
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by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:22 AM
That's terrible! I was wrong about my baby's gender. I was convinced I was having a boy, but at my ultrasound, of course she was a girl. I was thrilled. I would've been so happy either way.
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by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:41 AM

Nope.  I love my sons and just feel blessed to have healthy babies.  (:  

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by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:46 AM
It's a sad story but MOST (not all) people who go thru with suicide are either never taken serious or they show no real signs.

She obviously had a lot of issues & needed better care.
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by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:52 AM

This is a tragic story. Those poor helpless babies that had their lives taken from them... I feel badly for the mom who needed help and no one saw it beyond the normal help she was recieving, but for a mother to take the lives of her babies, wheather she is feeling maternal or not...

I was not disappointed at all. I thought for sure we were having a boy but they think we are having a girl (baby wasn't so cooperitive). When they said girl I became soooo excited b/c I have thought boy for so long. I am still reminding my self we might have a boy b/c they weren't so sure. I will be happy with a girl or a boy b/c I am just thrilled that we are having another baby. 

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:59 AM
Yes, I cried and got very depressed however I am over it now and am totally excited to have my dd soon!
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by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 9:07 AM
That story is very extreme for having gender depression, but I got it for a week after my 20 week ultrasound. We were having our second and last child. In my heart and dreams I knew I was having a girl. The pregnancy was such a positive different one and just figured that I'm getting a girl. I had dreams my grandmother brought me a girl, my mom dreamed of the same girl, and I was so confidant that I almost went on a girl shopping spree before the U/S. The second I saw that screen I knew exactly what I was looking at. I cried and felt so guilty but it was definitely a boy. My husband even let me name him what I wanted too because he felt so bad. I grieved but tried to stay positive. The second I looked at that baby boy I was in love. We bonded beautifully and he is God's gift to me. I would be devastated not having him in my life. I'm not brave enough for a third time around;) My luck I'd get another boy. Lol
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by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 10:21 AM

 I was a little disappointed but I knew we would have a boy although I wanted a girl. I got over it quickly and I love having  a little boy. We find out in 3wks what we are having this time :)

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 10:54 AM
I was ecstatic I already had a son and wanted another boy, but was excited if it was a girl.. Well she's a girl and I'm do blessed to experience one of each (;
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by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Well lucky for me I got what I wanted the first time around. Lol I actually prayed (for once) to get her...and it worked! So now the second time around I would loooooove another little lady, but since I already got that last time it's ok if I have a boy this time around (still hoping for a girl though!)

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